Ideas please

I'm dating a lot right now and I'm still having issues with a slight stricture that makes it difficult to eat. I also have major problems when I try and eat/drink at the same time, and when I go out I want to have wine.

Problem is they want to order dinner. And I'd rather not eat of course. So I have to come up with some excuse as to why I don't and it's so awkward. Or I will try and eat and have to throw up mid way through the meal. It's really uncomfortable.

I try and say I don't like dinner, or I just eat like a bird, etc and they always look at me like I'm crazy.

In addition I HATE sweets now and they don't seem to get that either.

Anyone have any ideas as to what I could say to get me out of having to eat on dates or what I could order than I could probably get down without wasting a bunch of food??

Edited September 15, 201510 yr by bellabloom

Why can't you meet for just a drink at a bar?

Why can't you meet for just a drink at a bar?

I try that and they always end up dragging me to dinner!!! We meet at the bar and they always want to go eat!

Or if not, that works for the first date but then the second date they want to eat. So I have to deal with it sooner or later!

I'm so tired of this. I think I'm just going to start saying I'm allergic to food. Haha

Just tell them you're on a strict diet for an upcoming event (wedding, 5k, photo shoot )

Well we shouldn't even try to eat and drink at the same time; for this reason I would give up the drink and just go for the dinner then. If they all want to go for dinner wouldn't it be easier to eat a healthy small portion, they shouldn't balk at this and no issues then!

I agree with Amazon. Start with dinner, order your wine but don't drink it until 30 minutes after you have finished eating.

Have your wine for dessert.

You really shouldn't eat and drink at the same time. I am allowed to drink right up until the time I start eating and allowed to start again 20 minutes after eating (I usually wait more like 40, because I just feel too full). So if you absolutely MUST drink wine at dinner, order it and drink it before your dinner comes, then ask for Water instead of a refill on your wine. Most people won't notice if you don't even touch the water after it arrives.

As for the food itself, order something small and only eat as much of it as you reasonably can. Don't stuff yourself or make yourself sick. Ask for a to-go box for the rest. If your date asks why you ate so little, just say you had a late lunch or "it was very filling" or something.

Oh man. I get so nervous though and the wine helps me relax!! Plus there is no guarantee I won't get sick even if I don't fm drink and eat because of my stricture and stomach just hating food....

Suggest a fun activity as a date. Rock climbing, swimming, going for a walk something like that.

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Oh man. I get so nervous though and the wine helps me relax!! Plus there is no guarantee I won't get sick even if I don't fm drink and eat because of my stricture and stomach just hating food....

I dated a lot with my lap band and it was very tight and I could barely eat. I agonized about it. I was very thin. I am married now but honestly people are so nervous on dates they barely notice if you eat. Just order something small and don't make a big deal about it. I really doubt they would look at you like you are crazy. Even when I was heavier years ago I rarely ate on a first or second date because I was talking and nervous.

I have eaten and drank (drunk?) at the same time since the start of surgery and I'm below goal and maintaining. I just didn't want to eat with a dry mouth for the rest of my life and the only reason you're not supposed to do it is because it flushes the food through your sleeve faster.

I also tend to end up at a lot of dinners and I just order a regular plate, eat what I feel like eating, push around the food, and take it home in a doggy bag. A lot of food that hasn't been cooked by me doesn't sit very well (oil, fats, etc) so I end up getting sick if I really eat anything much when I'm out. I still like sugar, but my sleeve isn't a big fan so I tend to avoid that as well. For the most part, every once in awhile someone has commented and I just say I had a big lunch and move on. If they push the issue I say, well, do you like me in this size 2 dress? You do right? Well then don't bitch about what I eat.

Ok to be fair, that last part is reserved for someone I have been dating awhile, lol, but if they push the issue enough I'm fine letting them have it. Men should know better than to comment extensively on what a woman eats and if they don't, take this as an excellent time to educate them in some manners.

it also will make you full faster. theres reasons not to drink and eat at the same time beyond flushing food.

whenever I eat too close to when I drink or vise versa, my stomach fills up what seems like instantly and I feel bad for about an hour or more.

Luckily I haven't gotten sick once since surgery...and I don't really get nervous on dates anymore, and I order what I want and not worry about what others think...but I'm a guy, may be a little different for us.

Most of these rules aren't hard to do. a lot of times its just if you want to do it or not. any negative outcome you perceive to have by following the rules are usually in your head. its all a mind thing...which is tough to get over a lot of times.

good for you for getting out there.... Here has been my solution lately. I have been getting salads with a good lean Protein and dressing on the side. Then I just eat the protein and a few vegetables. Then I say, not a fan of this lettuce type but I ate all the good parts. There you go... See if that works.

Saved my butt at work lunches a couple of times.

If I eat and drink at the same time I'll puke for sure. Maybe that is because of my stricture. Not sure.

I like the idea of ordering food and then just not eating much of it but the potions are always sooooo big!!! There isn't anything small to order and appetizers are all junk so I don't want them thinking I eat junk all the time!

It's kind of funny I guess. Maybe I should just tell the truth. That would be really funny to see their reaction! I be like, see this body? You like? Well, it's missing 2/3ds of a stomach!

good for you for getting out there.... Here has been my solution lately. I have been getting salads with a good lean Protein and dressing on the side. Then I just eat the protein and a few vegetables. Then I say, not a fan of this lettuce type but I ate all the good parts. There you go... See if that works.

Saved my butt at work lunches a couple of times.

That's actually pretty smart!