I'm not so much looking for advice because there's nothing I can do about this but I am really starting to worry about my sister. She is morbidly obese and I know that she has co-morbidities such as diabetes and hypertension. I can also see that she has trouble climbing steps and just moving normally due to her size.

I also know that her joints are starting to bother her and while she is still much more mobile than I was at her size, she is heading down a very bad path and all she has to do to know that is to look at my scars from my bilateral hip replacement.

My brother drove me home last night after we spent the day at my sister's apartment. My brother is a runner and in fantastic shape for a man of his age. I look and feel better than I have in 20 years. While driving me home, he told me of his concern for our sister's health. That scared me because he really does think her heart will give out if she does not start to take care of herself.

I've been asked by both my dad and my doctor to speak to my sister about her weight and see if I can convince her to do what I did. I've already said that I would never do that and I won't. I know that if the situation was reversed, I'd hate it if my sister came to me even as a loving sister only concerned with my health and tried to talk to me about my weight.

No one can make or even influence this decision for someone else. I know my sister will have to go through something bad in order to face having to make such a huge lifestyle change. I also know that she may die early because she doesn't want to do anything at this time. I love my sister and she is my best friend. I am starting to allow myself to think about her not being around for our retirement. It makes me so sad and afraid and yet I am unable to change anything.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. Again, there is nothing any of you can offer in terms of advice but I did want to share. I know others have or are going through this with their own loved ones.

This is truly the toughest to deal with because you know that a surgical intervention would definitely help and prolong her life.

For me it took another crappy health diagnosis of stage 3 kidney disease but it was in fact that specialist who told me I was looking at dialysis and an early death. He asked me one simple question: have you ever considered weight loss surgery?

That was what it took for me to immediately begin working down this path.

I would say I felt absolutely miserable at this stage and probably could have died from a heart attack at any time.bthank goodness my heart was actually still in good shape.

I was absolutely ready and it worked for me.

I know as everyone else that if a family member had brought up this idea I would have done the exact opposite. All you can do is be supportive and hope she gets ready before it is too late.

God bless you and your family.

I hope the stars line up and she finds the worthiness to choose herself and her health but meanwhile she is very lucky to have a sister like you. So many of us struggle with issues around deserving happiness. I had no idea until after WLS that this would be such a change in my life. I didn't know how unworthy I felt. That has all changed and I'm so grateful.

Before I decided on WLS, my Mom who had lost 80lbs on WW and has kept it off for 20 yrs, asked my teenage dgt to talk to me about my wt. I was furious with my Mom but knew that my dgt was simply put in the middle and I worked hard to not be negative with her. I was very defensive with my Mom though!

But, the talk did sink in and eventually I decided on LB surgery. I only told my dgt. She was so supportive through the 5 mon of lifestyle changes and I only told my Mom once I had a date for surgery. Needless to say, both have been very supportive post-op.

It's very hard not to get defensive when approached by family.