Perspective
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I hit 180 this morning and am pretty over the moon about that. Perspective is such an interesting thing, because even though it's a long time ago I clearly recall the horror of that number on the scale when I was first putting on serious weight. As I tried to get those pounds off I went over time from 180 into the nineties and then over the two hundred mark. I remember the shame of that 203 weigh-in and all the feelings it brought up for me. I coiled myself tighter inside then, shrunk my "self" while my physical body was expanding. I went all the way up to 252 feeling like such a failure all the while. Now I feel at peace with my body and 180 feels fabulous.
Fourteen months ago I was very excited and hopeful as I embarked on this project. Project Me. I was determined to be a success but I don't think I could really fathom what a joy this return to self would feel like. For those of you starting out, know that it takes time. I am not setting any weight loss records but I am healthy and happy and now on my way into the seventies. Then my goal will be to put the seventies behind me. I know that will take a little while, but in the grand scheme of things 70+ pounds down in fourteen months is, for me, a miracle. Especially since I know I would have just gained another five or ten in that time, as that had been my pattern for quite some time.
Here's to new patterns and all of our successes. And to smaller jean sizes along the way......