My son who is 22 came to me this morning with concerns and worries about me having surgery in the morning. I'm scared now and have been crying and considering backing out. He thinks it's too big of alteration with unknown things I might regret. He really doesn't want me to do this. He's an health conscious and excersise a. ETAC and has seen me lose 30 lbs in the last three months. I was commited this morning and now feel sick with doubt.

I said it before and I'll say it again. I have lost weight many, many times in my life. Losing weight is easy. KEEPING it off is what I struggled with. Now at almost 50 lbs down post surgery, I know I have more than a fighting chance of not gaining this weight back in a matter if months if I follow the rules of the sleeve. I didn't have this surgery just to lose weight ( that's just icing on the cake) but to be in control of what and how much I put into my mouth for the rest of my life to maintain a healthy weight. Fear and doubt are normal before surgery. The only regret I have now 5 months post surgery is that I didn't do this sooner. But it is a very personal choice, and if you feel you aren't ready, so be it. But having family members make the choice for you may cause you more regret in the future. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

I had doubts the night before also, getting changed into the hospital gown the next day I was about to break down and just walk out but I know I couldn't do it any other way.

I went thru with the surgery and only being two days out I am in some discomfort but glad I did it and looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

Good luck with surgery if you do proceed.

scared and considering backing out

@@JALUVIC

I can tell you are a smart cookie

you made the wise decision to have surgery at one time

please don't back out now

this is a huggggge decision you made

but i'm pretty sure you did your research

talked to your docs

it wonderful that your son is so "worried/concerned" about you

IMO you shouldn't not (excuse the dble negative) have the surgery because your 22 year old son is very worried for you

why don't you bring your son with you to talk to the surgeon

doc could help son understand more about the surgery

son can ask his questions too

doc could assure your son that things hopefully should go well

i don't believe in saying the blanket "surgery will go fine"

because all surgeries have POSSIBLE risks/complication

it has been spoken about that people like "us" you, me etc

frequently put themselves on the back burner

you need to move up front and take care of you

many people do get scared/apprehensive/ nervous about having surgery

common emotions

good luck with your decision

kathy

Edited January 18, 201511 yr by proudgrammy

I had doubts too. On my pre-surgery diet I lost 14 pounds in 2 weeks! I was like...I can do this on my own??!! But no, if you have come to the point of considering the sleeve, most likely you are at your wits end with the weight and health issue. I had to deal with people totally against the surgery (so I decided to keep it quiet when I went for it).....Because at the end of the day, this is about you and your health. Not about other people's opinion and fears. People who are skinny and are exercise buffs don't understand our "fat world". No matter how much you explain, a fat person and a skinny person won't see eye to eye. Why? Because they do not know what it is like in our shoes AT ALL.

If you need some time to think it over, then do so. This is something that you have to go into with 100% confidence. Yes, you will be nervous a few days before, but it is all for the better correct?

Don't let others scare you. Find a support group that understands and base your decisions on facts not fears.

Edited January 18, 201511 yr by Pac-woman

That is unfortunately the reason why I decided to not tell anyone about my surgery. I did the research and I made the decision. It's something we will have to live with, nobody else. Only we know the struggles we go through daily (pre-op). Nobody can judge us until they have walked a day in our shoes. I respect each person's decision to do what they want with their body, but unfortunately not everyone has that same respect for others. I can understand people have "fears" of the unknown. We are already struggling with our decisions, what we need is support. Not negativity.

If you have gone through (or are going through) the pre-ops, the evaluations and are having doubts that is understandable. Having someone come and fill your doubts full of negativity is not positive for you. Maybe your not sure about the surgery yourself, even though you said you were committed.

I know for me I tried so many different ways to loose, and so many ways failed. I needed a re-start, and this surgery has helped me figure out what I was doing wrong and most importantly curbed the temptations...which I severely needed.

I can walk into a bakery or by the chocolate isle and it not even phase me now. Before I would think, ahhhh just one or two boxes! Now I have a larger goal....to maintain my weight loss and never be big again. Eyes on the prize!!! You can do it! It's not easy, but it's do-able.

All surgeries have risks. Morbid obesity is a disease, not unlike a cancer. If you needed a surgery for cancer to extend your life, even though it was a risk, you'd do it, right? I know I would. It's wonderful he loves you so much, that he worries, but does he worry that if you don't have this surgery he may not have you to worry about for much longer. (that is harsh, I'm sorry). I refuse to let anyone guilt me into changing my mind. I've done the research. Heck, I've seen so many utube videos on this surgery I could almost perform it myself! This is not an experimental surgery. There is a lot of research that has been done on it, and it is not only life changing, it is life saving. I hope your decision ultimately has you living long and healthy so you can spend as much time as possible with those who love you. All the best to you. Sherrie

Edited January 18, 201511 yr by wannaBthinsoon

Doubts are part of the territory, I think. I know I had them. I lost 13 lbs on my preop diet. First thing my 84 year old mother said was "look how well you are doing. You don't really need the surgery".

Here's the deal though. I can lose it. Done it. Again and again. Can't keep it off.

I explained that this was a decision based on the recommendation of my doctors who had spent months preparing me. I trust they have the knowledge to advise me and are acting in my best medical interest.

A 22 year old simply doesn't have the training or knowledge to give you advice. He is talking from the guts and his very limited experience. And he's your son and your his mama.

Good luck with your decision. Just make it for good reasons.

If you are ready, in your heart of hearts, to make this change because you know you have tried everything else and you know nothing is going to work for you, then you should go ahead and have it done tomorrow. I was told this choice is a last resort, something to do once you really, truly believe that losing it and keeping it off on your own will not work.

My 3 Nephews insisted that I NOT have it. They said it would be a terrible shame. That I needed to focus and do it the natural way, that I should just diet and exercise like they do. (They really thought they were helping!) Thank goodness Nephews don't have the pull a son does, because now, almost 6 months post-op I am down 64 lbs. from a weight of 274 to 210. My Nephews give me a huge smile and smirk when they see me and each tells me how totally amazing I look, how great I look, that they cannot believe how thin and healthy I am looking. They seem very proud that I am their aunt. It is amazing to walk around with them now. What a feel to walk around and look totally normal!! I feel so good, no longer projecting that they are embarrassed to be seen with this huge, fat aunt of theirs. Your son will have a healthier mother.

Good luck with your decision. Let us know how it goes.

Hi All,

Waiting for a call from my sister who is my rock. I've watched every you tube video there is probably, as well, read and read, it all seemed reasonable to me. God, I love my son so much, you know that feeling as a parent. I'm just scared that if have complications I'll have done something irreversible and it will affect his life. He doesn't have any siblings...

He just wants me to be healthy and wants what is best for me, but he has me doubting ....I don't see it as negativity, as more concern, and worried about my quality of life afterwards. Me? Jeez, now I'm wondering whether I want to go through the possibility of nausea at 6 months out, vomiting, or whatever. I'm typically a "hard to make a decision" kind of person, and this isn't unusual for me to have my blood run cold at the last minute on things.... I'm sure some of you get tired of hearing about doubts...I just wish I had more up beat, positive folks around. Oh Lord, guide the way. Thanks all

Thing is that in the last twenty years I've really not committed myself hugely to losing weight. I've done the Phen/Fen, lost a lot, gained it back, done Weight Watchers for a month or so, stopped, but I've never exercised at all. I've done a little bit of Atkins, but nothing lasts more than a month or so. So his put is that I haven't really tried...and I see some merit in that. I've been pretty lax with myself these past 20 years....when I say I've never exercised I mean it..oh a few fits and starts, but nothing ever consistent beyond a week. Now, prior to surgery, I've been low carb, high Protein for 3 months and lost 30 lbs...need to lose probably another sixty. That's a lot! Am I looking for the easy way out? I know, I know, no body can decide this but me . You are all very patient to read my posts.

Well, being "sick with doubt" doesn't sound like the way I'd want to be rolled into the OR for a procedure. Maybe pray on it, if thats something that helps you, or postpone it and have a meeting with the surgeon and invite your son to attend so he can be educated. You could always reschedule once he has a better understanding. Or once his fears are alleviated.

I don't know about anyone else, but i have no appetite. i see pizza on tv thing that would normally make me hungry

and it doesn't bother me. With the sleeve they take out your hunger thingy. i have no regrets.

like i said before, they tell you don't have the surgery because they are worried something will happen to you on the table.

one thing i notice about this website it's 99% positive results to 1% neg.

Your decision in the end, are you sure your not having doubts because perhaps your not ready yet.

i have bad knees, diabetes runs in the family and high cholestrol. I did it to be proactive. I remember when i was

22, weight came off at a drop of a hat. i wish our bodies were like that in our late 40's and 50's.

watched one of the coaches with biggest loser today, he was asked "who is your biggest disappointment that put the weight back on after the show?" His answer was " unfortunately most of them put the weight back on."

It's normal to be scared and have second thoughts, but remember that if you do back out, you will likely have regret for not going through with it.

I agree with the person who said keeping the weight off is the issue.

Since my surgery in October, I am down 56 lbs and have already met my goal weight without trying too hard.

The Surgery isn't long and is very simple. To tell you how simple, I went to Mexico to get my surgery done. I flew out on Tuesday, Surgery on Wednesday and back home on Friday. I returned to work that Monday with no problems. I remember laying on the bed, he said okay I'm putting the sleepy stuff in and then I woke up and was walking within 15 minutes of waking up. I had a lot of doubts and fears, but I was determined to change my life for the best. Also, I went to Mexico by myself, with no one else with me. I now look back and think about how stupid that was... there could have been a lot of what if's... but they were only fears.

Think of how much better you will feel, how much more energy you will have and also, how much longer you'll live being healthier.

In the end, it comes down to what do you want?

Also, I was on this very forum posting right after my surgery. It really is a simple surgery. I encourage you to go through with it if you've come this far and its tomorrow.

I would gladly take your appointment if you cancel!!

It's surgery so there is reason to be concerned, however I have to say this was the easiest surgery I have ever had. 3 years ago I decided to get healthy. I joined a gym, went 3 -4 times a week, sometimes 5 times a week. I started eating clean, quit sodas, only drank Water. I am a vegetarian. I was living pretty healthy.

I spent those same 3 years losing and regaining the same 35 -50 lbs.

Sometimes we need help. I've lost in 4 mths what previously took me an entire year. Even better, I am still losing. My surgery couldn't have been more textbook. No pain, I walked in recovery, and I have tolerated every food I've tried.

Don't let fear hold you back. Thank your son for his concern, but do what's best for you.