I started thinking tonight about a lot of things and I was wondering if it was regret. I started feeling bad because I can't eat two large pizzas anymore in one sitting. I can't fit into my size 38 pants any longer. I can't wear a 2 Xl t shirt any longer.

I can't eat a whole double cheese burger. I can't drink soda. I don't know if I can drink alcohol as I've been afraid to try.

I then realized that all the things that I think I gave up I really needed to give up but I couldn't do it without the help of surgery.

I wanted to change what my future looked like. If we go off of our family history, I was at major risk for Diabetes, high blood pressure, cancers, dementia, seizures etc. I watched my father die of brain cancer, diabetes, dementia etc. My older brother is having seizures and he is huge. I want to tell him I'll pay for his surgery if he'll do it but haven't approached it yet. I am sure his response will be that he is healthy etc and he doesn't need to lose any weight. He's shorter than me (I'm 6 7') and he weighs 380#.

My father was bi-polar and unfortunately I followed that path. He would never see a doctor or get help. I sucked it up and wasn't afraid to see a doctor or take medication for it. After Surgery, I've noticed I'm not depressed and I don't have mood swings any longer. I take no anti-depressants or bi-polar meds any longer.

So I realized that once I looked at the over all picture, I think I made the right decision and I think it was for the best. I'm only 7 weeks post op now, and of course things can change. I might have mood swings again, but hopefully they stay away. Research that I've found suggest that a lot of bi-polar symptoms are related to the food we eat and all the chemicals in the food.

I didn't do this to simply look good. I did it for the health reasons. I can admit, I wanted to be thinner again, but it wasn't the only reason why for the surgery. I didn't want to have ED at the age of 32. I didn't want to be embarrassed every summer when we go on a family vacation and I'm afraid to take my shirt off due to my size. I'm looking forward to Cancun again in 2015.

I would do it all again if I had to.

No regrets. If your feeling regret, look at the whole picture. Think about why you did it. Think about what you are gaining in terms of good health. Think about your spouse/bf/gf/better half etc.

I also found out that the acid pill I needed was available over the counter. I feel so stupid for not finding this out sooner. Amazing what one little pill can do.

I definitely love this thread and with the seeming spike in mental illness, I truly believe food has a large connection to it. As you said op, all of those chemicals in foods MUST affect us in other ways too. I don't see how we can digest so many things we can't even pronounce and think none of it bothers us mentally. Congratulations op on your many successes!

Edited December 6, 201411 yr by mrsbailey921

The first part of your post hit me hard... I was so sad at the thought of having to give up binge eating. I could easily have eaten a large pizza before. And probably more. And that type of eating became so regular to me I was scared i wouldn't be able to break it even with surgery, but I was shocked at feeling a sense of grief and loss at not being able to consume 4 meals at one time. I know now that this sense of loss is exactly why I needed this surgery. I need to live. Not just breathe and feel my heart beat, but truly be ALIVE. I have a long way to go, but I'm at peace with where I'm starting.

Edited December 7, 201411 yr by lily0327

I remember eating 3 large pizzas in one day. I also used to eat 2 of those 1lb Bomb burritos a couple times per week.

I made a vow to begin breaking my food compulsions before surgery. For me, it made such a difference to my post-surgery outlook.

I can still feel myself wanting to graze even on the healthier foods, but the compulsion is not nearly as strong as it was when eating the heavily-processed foods before I started changing my lifestyle.

I love my sleeve!

I do put on my XXL shirts just about every weekend when I'm cleaning the house or just lounging. I love to take a gander at myself in those shirts in the mirror. It's really an inspiration for how much I've accomplished and to remind me not to fall back into old lifestyles. Then I put on a medium shirt when I'm headed to the gym and really pat myself on the back!

It gets better. I love hearing from friends and even my customers tell me... OMG you look so good. You've lost so much weight. I love hearing it because I know its working. I've been ordering more clothes, all smaller sizes.

I know I'l have to order even smaller clothes soon.

I don't miss binge eating at all.

Congratulations! You are on the right track and good for you for keeping up with your psych appointments being proactive in our medical and mental Heath is very important. Lots of good info in this thread. Thanks for sharing