So me and my husband been together for going on 9yrs now. But it's like the more weight I lose the more insecure he becomes. It's really starting to get annoying and pissing me off. Is this happening to anyone else.

Starting wt. 325lbs

Current wt. 245lbs

Edited December 5, 201411 yr by Anume 937

No. Mine has actually become more attentive and snuggly. He's never been the jealous type though. But then, I'm only 4 months in. So, who knows what he'll be like this time next year. Hopefully even more snuggly and attentive.

I have no personal experience being a single gal, but I understand that this is a very common situation. Plus, you have a prior history of this behavior and it likely is something he fears will happen again. I would suggest you reassure him as much as possible that he has nothing to worry about. It might be worth seeing a professional as well s he can voice his fears and you can voice your annoyance in a 'neutral' place.

Good luck. I do hope you can resolve this and move forward as a couple.

Im no Psychiatrist, but you might want to go back and ask yourself WHY you both cheated ( Im not judging). If the same situation exist now , that caused you BOTH to cheat could your hubby see that the whole situation is repeating itself ? Kinda like watching a train wreck happening and knowing you cant do anything to stop it ? I definitely would have BOTH of you see a good marriage counselor who specializes in WLS. Just a thought, cause I don't see this situation resolving itself. I think you BOTH owe it to yourselves and your marriage. My best to both of you.

Sounds like he feels that he is loosing control over you, since your weight loss only makes you more independent and self secure; and less reliant on his being there. I am not a shrink, but marriage counseling might be in order?

We're better than we was then but his jealously is just too much

Jealousy is such a hard emotion to address, it's rooted in fear and irrational thought so trying to deal with it logically can be frustrating at best. Wish I had some sound advice, sorry you have to go through this

@@Anume 937 What your going through is a pretty common occurrence.

We are all works in progress, and often as we learn more about ourselves through the process of WLS we change. Not just the way we look on the outside, but the way we behave and relate to the world as well. That change happens not only with food, but with the things we associate with in our lives and the way in which we relate to the people in our lives.

In a relationship, especially one that is not on solid footing it's not the weight loss per se but the other issues that the weight loss and surgery may be taking the blame for to mask the truth that might just be a bit painful to reveal.

There are some issues that you have both overcome already, if you have both disclosed the past to each other and that is a testament to the love and caring between you. This is where you both need to put your focus. Remember why the two of you are together in the first place and even more importantly why after an infidelity on both parts you both chose each other again and stayed together.

These are the reasons and the feelings you want to reinforce in each other and then no matter how much weight you lose what color you dye your hair, or clothes you wear your significant other will know that it is because you are a secure confidant woman who is in a relationship with him and for no other reason.

If however there are other thoughts going through your minds and you think of straying outside the relationship because something is missing or not working...but your not quite ready to cut ties and run and you both still want to keep the relationship together then I would defiantly consider going to marriage or couples therapy and working on it as a couple.

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you!!

Excellent advice, I find my husband becoming jealous also, and asking why I need to change, I feel this pretty common in relationships and we do need to remember why we chose to be together in the first place, I wish you all the best, and honestly just pray, the good Lord will guide you