My brother needs to make up his damned mind. He asked his girlfriend of less than 5 months to marry him when they found out she was pregnant. She had a miscarriage last week. They had originally decided to get married in late June or early July. Even though there isn't any rush anymore, they decided to still get married around that time. After going back and forth several times, they decided to set a date for June 29th. I am hoping this is the final date. They aren't 100% sure of the location, though. They are probably going to be having a civil ceremony in Nashville, although my brother tried to talk my mom into everyone flying to Hawaii and doing it there. Yeah, right. Maybe he has a couple thousand dollars to spend for a few days, but the rest of us don't.

I am just getting really irritated with the whole thing. If they were smart, they would put off getting married for a few months and plan the damned thing properly, instead of trying to rush it and stressing everyone else out.

Hey Lauren, Go easy on him. Miscarraige must be devastating. This is a time to be very soft and gentle with them both. Susannah

Marry in haste....repent at leisure.

Marry in haste....repent at leisure.

Or, like my roommate did, marry at leisure and repent in haste. She was with the guy for four years before they got married, and they were separated within 6 months and oficially divorced the day before the first anniversary.

My heart goes out to your brother and his fiancee. Miscarriages are a devastating thing.

Losing a 5 month old fetus can be devastating and the focus should be on how they are handling the loss and not on how you're inconvenienced by his misfortune. Busy schedules, telemarketers, and your brother's pending marriage all seem to irritate you to extremes. Life is too short and you're too young to be so negative.

The fetus wasn't 5 months. Their RELATIONSHIP was 5 months old. They've only known each other since January. His girldfriend was less than 8 weeks pregnant. I think I have a right to be a little pissed off that my brother is rushing into marriage with someone that he doesn't know very well, just because she got knocked up. After all, I know his track record with his girlfriends.

Maybe that is why he is back and forth on everything, and trying to do a romantic hawaii wedding to bring solidarity to a posible rocky start. My thoughts are with him and his girlfriend in this tough time. It is certainly a hard thing to go through, and I am sure it adds a lot more stress to his new life. But one thing to keep in mind is that it is HIS life, and HIS choice who he gets married to and when. It could be the perfect fit and they stay married for 50 years. Or the marriage will fail in 6 months. The thing that needs to be done by the family is support him any way they can, rather than add to the stress that is being caused by the flip flopping. I hope that your whole family finds peace soon and that when/if they get married it is a lovely day for the two of them. Nothing makes it more beautiful than having your whole family suppot and love you. If you can't make it to a wedding in hawaii, a phone cal, and a really nice card with heartfelt wishes can really go a long way. And I am sure that they would eventually understand that their decision to have the ceremony in another state would make it tough for everyone to be there to celebrate with them.

Hey Laura,

My son and your brother lost they're babies the same day. My son still isn't acting right. Maybe in time he'll come around. I know your worried and have a right too. My youngest brother is 35 and I worry constantly about him. Keep your chin up.

I finally got a for sure due date with my daughter and sil and they 2nd baby. Sept. 24th and this makes number 2 for us, the first was a girl, Briana and this one is a boy. They're naming him Landon Carter, just thought I would let you know.

Take care girl.

Maybe that is why he is back and forth on everything, and trying to do a romantic hawaii wedding to bring solidarity to a posible rocky start. My thoughts are with him and his girlfriend in this tough time. It is certainly a hard thing to go through, and I am sure it adds a lot more stress to his new life. But one thing to keep in mind is that it is HIS life, and HIS choice who he gets married to and when. It could be the perfect fit and they stay married for 50 years. Or the marriage will fail in 6 months. The thing that needs to be done by the family is support him any way they can, rather than add to the stress that is being caused by the flip flopping. I hope that your whole family finds peace soon and that when/if they get married it is a lovely day for the two of them. Nothing makes it more beautiful than having your whole family suppot and love you. If you can't make it to a wedding in hawaii, a phone cal, and a really nice card with heartfelt wishes can really go a long way. And I am sure that they would eventually understand that their decision to have the ceremony in another state would make it tough for everyone to be there to celebrate with them.

Perfectly stated!

Hey Laura,

My son and your brother lost they're babies the same day. My son still isn't acting right. Maybe in time he'll come around. I know your worried and have a right too. My youngest brother is 35 and I worry constantly about him. Keep your chin up.

I know that some people think that I am just pissed of because he's inconveniencing my schedule, but I'm not. I'm worried that he's rushing into this out of a sense of guilt. His last few relationships have all been long-term relationships that eventually broke up. He just broke up with the last one in December. He still owns a house with her. I just think that, judging from his pattern, he's jumping into this way too fast.

I know that some people think that I am just pissed of because he's inconveniencing my schedule, but I'm not. I'm worried that he's rushing into this out of a sense of guilt. His last few relationships have all been long-term relationships that eventually broke up. He just broke up with the last one in December. He still owns a house with her. I just think that, judging from his pattern, he's jumping into this way too fast.

As his sister all you can really do is pray that his relationship goes well, and that he does the right thing. but he is your brother, not your child, and his choice is his. no matter how much it stresses you. the best thing is to release ownership of his actions, and hope that he does the right thing. if he doesn't, it is not your deal. of course you will ache for any trouble he goes through, but you cannot try to stop him in his decision when and who he marries. if anything your stress and upset over his decision may have the opposite effect, and he will rush to make a change to prove that he is right. it sounds like he already has that going on, rushing to prove that his marriage would be based on love, rather than the fact that he had a child coming.

You never know, this could be the one. enjoy the bliss of a new marriage and hope that all goes well for them!

I certainly don't think you're "pissed" because he is wrecking havoc with your schedule but you do seem a bit "over the top" on this issue.

I'm sorry, but everything seems to be piling on at the moment. Forgive me if I want to vent in an area that is made for venting.

Have you explored why you are so angry and seem to see the negative in so many situations? From your posts you seem annoyed at students who don't study, telemarketers who bother you, parents who will blab about your pending surgery, your brother's wedding, etc. Please realize that I don't know you and am only commenting based on what you've expressed in her posts.

Can you tell me what's positive about having students that don't study, telemarketers calling at all hours, nosy relatives, etc.? Please, tell me the positives, there. Last time I checked, I was allowed to vent. I spend 95% of my time being very positive. I'm allowed to talk about the things that make me angry. It's what makes someone a healthy person. Holding it in until you explode isn't very healthy. Or positive.

Rant on... I now see that it only angers you more when people respond to your rants in a manner you don't agree with.

No, sweetie, It angers me more when people patronize me. And seriously, I'd like you to answer my question. Why exactly should I be all sunshine and flowers over crappy students, telemarketers (that I've gotten 5 more calls from today, BTW), and nosy relatives that won't do anything but harass me about having WLS? Please, I really am interested in your answer. Would you be thrilled?

Venting is good, but what actions are you taking over these issues? you seem to own a lot of anger over things you are completely in control of releasing. I would love to see all people happy, and people have tought times. But when people give you options on how to deal with it they are not patronizing you, they are trying to help. and it is no help for someone to just say "so sorry you are going through that", but it is helpful when people try to come up with ways for you to deal with that anger, or another way of looking at things so that it does not affect you as much.

First, my parents married a month after they met and lasted 32 years until she died of cancer. Me and my husband met in July of 2004 and married in December of 2004. He had just gotten out of a year relationship two months before we met and I had been dating someone a year till about a week before we met. We're very happy.

If your brother is making a mistake, then it's his to make. Your getting PO'd about it is doing nothing but hurting yourself and your relationship with him. I think you need to shut up and be happy for him and wish him the best and stop sending negative energy onto the marriage. He's obviously not just marrying her because he has too. He wants too. Be a good sister and support him in his choices and if it turns out bad, be an even better sister and BE THERE FOR HIM instead of taking an "I told you so" attitude. We all make mistakes and I hope for his sake that this turns out to be the marriage that lasts a life time.

Venting is good, but what actions are you taking over these issues?

1. I've failed students, which is a wonderful stress relief.

2. I emailed Bellsouth and got put on their DNC list (even though it will take a while to take effect).

3. I told my parents to keep their mouths shut about my surgery.

Just because I have made a post or two about it at one time doesn't mean that I'm not doing something about it. I make posts to vent. Once I'm through venting, I take care of it.

you seem to own a lot of anger over things you are completely in control of releasing.

Venting is my method of releasing anger. That's what venting means, a release.

But when people give you options on how to deal with it they are not patronizing you,

Where was the method of dealing with it? All I saw was, "you're so angry!!!" and "life's too short." Ooh, that's a wonderful method, kind of like the "just lose weight" method of motivating someone in weight loss.