Hello everyone I'm new to this site I have my first appt with my surgical center on the 12th to get started reading the posts have been helpful and encouraging I'm a bit anxious I really want this but I've had had so many humiliating interactions with drs no matter your issues all they want to discuss is weight haven't been able to be treated for other things because of it it's as if u don't deserve care if your fat or dignity or even a little respect I'm in buffalo ny anyone has any tips or recommendations feel free to reply I'd sure appreciate it how do the drs and staff treat people generally at these places is it an awful experience? When I went to the seminar one of the dr said something I felt was very condescending he stated that if we have this surgery we can "once again be productive members of society" I thought what the ****? We arent productive cuz we are fat? We have jobs lives responsibilitys Hobbies hopes and dreams I'm not telling ppl that I'm even doing this don't want their opinions or comments I told my very best friend for 20 years and she gave me the silent treatment for two weeks and told me after that she doesn't agree with this decision and I'm not to bring it up with her at all she doesn't want to discuss it or hear about it as it "upsets her" I have a feeling when she figures out I've done it she will cut me out of her life it's so very painful I feel all alone I have no support except my husband lots of friends I had over the years have dropped me because of my wieght slowly I was just left out of things invitations stopped coming and invitations extended went unanswered finally one person told me I was disgusting and embarrassing apparently they don't want to be seen out with me or have me sit on their furniture I've gotten this from my sister too it's an awful feeling don't know how to deal so here I am making this decision to try and get healthy my job has even been threatened Ok thanks for listening and good luck to anyone else starting the journey

Hi and welcome. Sorry to hear everything you have had to go through and hear from ignorant insensitive people. Your in the right place to start your journey. Lot of information on this site. Good luck on your journey. Stay positive.

Shelly, first I would like to say hello. You will find a lot of helpful people on the site. I cannot believe that doctor said that! I would definite think about finding a different surgeon if at all possible. You will make new friends through this journey and you will definitely find out who your the friends are. Good luck on your journey and congratulations on the decision to become healthier! Keep posting and reading here.

Good luck!

Summer

I wish you all the luck in your journey. I am so sorry about the non supportive friend. I find that very sad. You keep trudging along the way and yes we are productive members of the society. I wonder why that doctor ever said that. There is a lot of helpful information on these forums! Best wishes and welcome.

Shelly, first I would like to say hello. You will find a lot of helpful people on the site. I cannot believe that doctor said that! I would definite think about finding a different surgeon if at all possible. You will make new friends through this journey and you will definitely find out who your the friends are. Good luck on your journey and congratulations on the decision to become healthier! Keep posting and reading here. <br><br> Good luck!<br> Summer

Hi thank you so much for the support I sure appreciate it I'm looking forward to the changes this will hopefully bring and to making new friends

Welcome to this site and welcome to the bumpy road some travel to get here. I wish you the best with choosing a good surgeon. I went to a Center of Excellence and the staff are all trained to deal with bariatric patients. All they do is Weight Loss Surgery, (WLS).

The first surgeon I saw was one who did other abdominal surgeries and was not exclusively a WLS surgeon. I didn't like the attitude of his staff right off the bat. I was told via telephone it would take at least 6 months to schedule the surgery. I found the Center of Excellence and from start to surgery it was a little over 3 months. That was due to my insurance and having spent money on trying to loose weight with prescription drugs BUT my point is--the staff was not trained in dealing exclusively with bariatric patients.

Even if you have to spend more money, (if you can afford to) to find a surgeon you will be comfortable with--it will be worth it.

Good luck,

Kathleen

Hello and welcome!

You will find support here. People are often rude and have no empathy. However, it appears that you are going to need to learn how to love yourself. Weight is not the entire issue. Remember to give yourself some credit and demand respect. Change doctors if you can or at least tell him that you feel disrespected. No matter what the scale says you are a human being. Love you and others will also.

Congrats on making this decision for yourself!! I'm so sorry to hear your best friend isn't being supportive. I've learned awhile ago that some people enjoy you being fat because it makes them feel better about themselves. They aren't real friends if they aren't supportive of you.

I know how you feel about having "friends" and family not include you because of your weight. My sister excluded me from her wedding because she thought I was too fat. Ignore their negativity and keep positive. These people are better to be kept as aquaintances. This journey will help you discover who your real friends are.

I was also afraid about the dr issue. I've had them judge me all my life and because of it a very life threatening illness was undiscovered untill I took control and pushed them to look further. But you will find out that most medical personnel are great cheerleaders in this journey. They are excited for you and tend to be very accommodating. However, If you find some bad apples just ignore them. There are many more people routing for you. Good luck on your journey, I look forward to hearing how it goes!

Hi thank you so much it's nice to feel encouraged instead of judged we have the wedding story in common same thing here I wasn't allowed to be in any of the photos either I'm sure hoping this will help me turn things around health wise and that I can get thru another session with a dr without being made to feel worthless I'm grateful to have found this site it's full of encouragement and info I wouldn't have known to ask about I hope to maybe make some friends too so nice to meet u so to speak !

Hi thank you so much it's nice to feel encouraged instead of judged we have the wedding story in common same thing here I wasn't allowed to be in any of the photos either I'm sure hoping this will help me turn things around health wise and that I can get thru another session with a dr without being made to feel worthless I'm grateful to have found this site it's full of encouragement and info I wouldn't have known to ask about I hope to maybe make some friends too so nice to meet u so to speak !

Oh that's so horrible. I think everything cuts deeper when family does it. My sister acted like she didn't know me at her wedding. She has never weighed more that 110 pounds dripping wet and has always treated me like I had a disease and if she spent time with me the fat would rub off on her lol. When I told her about me having the surgery all she could say was "you'll have to watch everything that goes In Your mouth!". Lmao I already do that! Unlike her I can't eat everything in site and be tiny. I look at a cookie and gain!

It's very nice to meet you as well. This is a great site, it has helped me immensely to talk with people who are going through the same thing. I hope you find a good dr but even if you don't know your not worthless. That's their own issues. Feel sorry for them. Soon you will lose the weight, they will always be jerks.