I am struggling emotionally right now. I feel like everyone is critiquing me and I am just tired of it. My mom lost over 100 lbs (without surgery) a few years ago. I was talking to her about it and she said that everyone doesn't want you to change-they love you now...but she encouraged me that I needed to do what was best for me and my family.

It seems like everyone has both eyes on me and they seem to have a sort of attitude towards me. Does anyone else find this? You can see by my starting weight that I needed this!!! It wasn't selfish to me it was a chance at living.

I understand how you feel. I think even though they love us, they are uncomfortable about us changing . They mean well and want the best for us. Just keep going and everyone will adjust. Congrats for choosing life.

Sometimes success makes other people uncomfortable. Some people are insecure and enjoy seeing someone else fail. it seems like this really ugly piece of human nature.....the desire to see a person stumble and fall. I think it's rooted in jealousy and insecurity.

The opposite is being self-assured, strong, and not threatened by other people's successes. Truthfully, there is nothing you can do about other people's reactions and thoughts about you. I know how difficult it is, but somehow you have to tune them out. Don't allow their judgments and hidden opinions to infiltrate how YOU view yourself.

My family is this way. I have done my best to not allow their judgment, envy, and criticisms affect me.....but unfortunately in some cases the only way to protect myself is to limit my contact completely. I have a sister that I deal with only on the rare occasion. She is the most judgmental person I've ever known and being in a room with her is like having a snake waiting in the grass for you. Part of me making healthy decisions for myself is limiting my exposer to toxic people.

If you have a strong support in your mother than keep close to her and keep emotional distance from the others.

Good Luck!

I had family members try to talk me out of it because of the "bad" experiences they've heard about through other's that have gone throught it. My daughter just didn't want me to have an elective surgery. I am so glad I did this for me and now have the full support from everyone. Several people say I should be the "poster child" for this type of surgery because they are amazed at how well i am doing compared to what they've heard and read. Just remember this is for you and the only thing changing is your size, not your heart. Also I am 7 1/2 weeks post op.

Edited June 19, 201412 yr by cammi38_42

I agree with everyone's comments. I have told very few people I am having surgery in just over a week. One of my friends is being negative but I know she just is worried and thinks its drastic - she has never been overweight so she does not understand how we struggle.

Do what's right for you! Everyone else does!

Hi I am in my third week today and the only people I told was my boyfriend and my two daughters and I have their support and I have six siblings the reason I did not tell them is because of the gossip and negative comments, even though we say we are not going to let what they say bother us it do , so I know I did not want it to hamper my healing, I told them I had a hernia repair after the surgery. So don't let them put u down cuz they will never understand unless they have to live with being heavy and struggle everyday. God bless and congratulation on the new you .

You may be feeling emotional because of the surgery, I know that I have been. Just try to relax, be good to yourself, and stay away from negative people. Best of luck, the best is yet to be!