I am close to getting a date for surgery. Is it normal to be scared to death and constantly doubting my decision to have surgery?

Thank you! Just know that you are not alone.

DaddyMarie, Thank you...and neither are you.

This thread was just what I needed this morning. Start liquids Monday and I am scared to death. I am normally not a fearful person. I am a Christian, believe that God will take care of me, and know this is the right decision. I am just struggling with the "what ifs"- what if I am one of the rare complications, etc. I have 4 children and a wonderful husband that need me. But they need me to feel better, both physically and mentally. I just want to be on the other side, knowing what it feels like to be in control and losing these pounds. I am glad it is normal to be scared. It is not helping that my family is (of course) worried and they can't really be my cheerleaders right now for fear. My goal is to go through my 2 weeks of liquids with no complaints or even talking about it. I don't want anyone (especially my mom) to say "I knew you wouldn't be able to do this".

Wasn't worried at all until the day of surgery. Like others, started to have a mini panic attack. I remember laying in the bed after I got my IV thinking, how the hell could I have let myself get to a point that I am laying here getting cut open and my stomach taken out? While I was committed to the change prior to surgery, that moment was the game changer for me. This surgery will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. Just keep that in mind when those doubts creep in and find your life changing moment that is goind to keep you going through this journey!

Mommyof3sweetboys. I am so glad that you wrote. You are feeling exactly the way that apparently most of us feel. I know what you mean about doing the preop diet and not complaining. My kids, all grown, have seen me try so many things that I can almost hear their eyes rolling over the phone when I talk about doing this. We will all just have to support each other. Keep us posted on your surgery. You've got this. I have had some of the same thoughts, but by the same token, it is amazing that we live in a time that we have this option/opportunity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Bookworm, Thank you so much for your comment. It is so good to hear from others who were scared and came out on the other side with a positive attitude. Just putting my fear into words and hearing from everyone had made me feel a calm that I did not have before. Thanks!

I was scared but ill share that they gave me anaesthesia that put me out in less than 60 seconds. Next thing I woke up in the recovery room. Everything was worth it only pain I felt was like I did too many sit ups.

Also look at it this way the exciting part is your getting a second chance with a new lease on life and maintained health. Think about all those clothes that were so nice and they didn't have the right size. That's all gonna change. You will be able to wear what you want at affordable price ranges.

Jayson, I'm sure they give the "good stuff" to knock us out. I am looking forward to being able to shop anywhere and to pay less. That part will be fantastic. Thanks!

Some things I journaled about before I had surgery-

You're scared because you're going to lose control over the food...

When in fact it's the food controlling you. You're scared of being thin. You're scared of the attention. You're scared of being whatever you'll be when the weight is gone. You're not sure who that person is or if it will still be you. You're scared of not being able to hide. You're scared of no more excuses. You're scared you still won't be happy after the weight comes off. You're scared you will. You're scared to give up the things you eat that you think make you happy, that are the same things that in the end make you so sad. You're scared of the journey ahead and at the same time are so excited of the possibilities. You're done being scared.

Again just some things I wrote down before my procedure 6 months ago.

On another note....my husband is having VSG on 3/7. He is still scared after seeing me be successful with this lifestyle change. He's mourning food right now just like I did before. I don't think he realized how scared I am, and his family is about his weight. He is 375 and 5'10". If he could feel how fearful we are for him, I think that might change his perspective. He and I have had conversations about if he was scared/is scared from dropping dead from a heart attack or due to his weight. He said no.

I think looking back, I should have been more scared of what I was doing to myself vs. surgery. I hope my husband sees that too eventually.

Good lucks everyone, you'll do great!

Laura9643, Thank you so much for sharing the thoughts that you wrote in your journal. So many of them apply to all of us. I hope your husband's surgery goes as well as yours. You know, I was never worried about dying from this until a few years ago when I became aware that both of my daughters worry about me all the time. They are afraid of losing me. I still did nothing about it. The turning point for me was that this past year I have been unable to keep up with my oldest daughter and her family (including three of my grandchildren). Even though I have abused myself for 30+ years now, I was still able to keep up. The last year has been frighteningly different for me. It is really helping me to read all of the comments. It is helping me to calm down a lot.

This thread was just what I needed this morning. Start liquids Monday and I am scared to death. I am normally not a fearful person. I am a Christian, believe that God will take care of me, and know this is the right decision. I am just struggling with the "what ifs"- what if I am one of the rare complications, etc. I have 4 children and a wonderful husband that need me. But they need me to feel better, both physically and mentally. I just want to be on the other side, knowing what it feels like to be in control and losing these pounds. I am glad it is normal to be scared. It is not helping that my family is (of course) worried and they can't really be my cheerleaders right now for fear. My goal is to go through my 2 weeks of liquids with no complaints or even talking about it. I don't want anyone (especially my mom) to say "I knew you wouldn't be able to do this".

Omg! You describe me situation to the `T'...I have all the what if's also..I have to young boys 8 & 11.. my hubby not to trill about wls. But he said he will be by my side all the way..mom & sisters were all for it. Even encouraged me to look into it..but since I got all into it and almost done..they turned against it..I can't even tell them I'm all done with my requirement. Cause I know they are not excited for me. I guess they have fears for me, so do I..it almost feels like i'm keeping a dirty secret about my surgery, since I didn't tell anyone. .I just pray to God, I have no complication and I will try my best not to complain to much around them. Even if I'm in pain..my package was submitted on Friday to insurance. .can't even call them to tell them..cause I know they are not happy. .very disharted!

It's totally normal. I was supposed to have it done in December and backed out. I'm scheduled now for March. I have wrote out a list of all the reasons why I'm doing this. When I panic and get anxiety over this, I read it. It calms me and reassures me I'm making the right decision for myself. I think it would be abnormal not to have fears.

Re14768, I am so glad that you ran across this and saw what mommyof3sweetboys said. It is nice to be able to identify with someone through this battle. I hope that you insurance approves you and that you can get on with the surgery. I'll bet once it's over and your family sees how well you are doing they will get on board and be happy for you. Bless you.

kkrose, The reason I named myself ChristmasJanet is because I too thought I would be having the surgery in December or at least early January, but then I freaked out and put off some of the evaluations and stalled out. I am hoping to have the surgery done in March. I should know more after I have my nutritionist visit on Monday. We are going to be brave now!