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surgery on monday... what ifs

So my surgery is monday the 3rd. I cant believe this is actually happening. But im completely terrified. Im 34... i have a 6 year old...what if i die?? What if something goes wrong. What if i get to skinny and my husband isnt attracted to me anymore? Oh God... what if i have sooooo much loose skin that he isnt attracted? I have kind of the apron stomach already so i know i will have to have the pannaectomy (sp) after i loose. But i just have this mental picture of havkng so much loose skin it like hangs down to my knees. And its like flappppin away during sex and like hits me or him in the face :/

And my boobd are awesome but they sag a little now after the dear daughter breastfed. So after this they are gonna be so tube socky.

I will prob be able to tie them in a knot and throw them over my shoulder as my stomach is flappin in the wind.

But seriously..... i can NOT leave my precious beautiful daughter without a mother.... just because i dont want to be fat anymore!

Anybody with me??

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  • OK girls, my surgery is Tuesday and I have a lot of the same thoughts spinning through my head but I'm 64, 65 in April! I'm not married but I know I will have chicken wing arms and wobbly thighs and w

  • I'm 54 and I had my surgery 8 months ago. I have only one regret - that I didn't do this YEARS ago! I became overweight with my first pregnancy in '86 (full term twin girls), increasing my weight in '

  • hmjdreamingbig
    hmjdreamingbig

    Terry1118, Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts. You are right. I do know nothing will change if I don't take this step. Sure I will stick with the "diet" for a while but when no

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Hi ggdrop, I totally understand! I have my surgery on Monday too and am also a mommy (my baby is 11 months old). This whole week I have been flip flopping between excitement/readiness for surgery and total freak out/'what if' mode. Most of my what ifs have been about 'leaving' my son or having some horrid complication that makes my life impossible. I understand you too about the fear of loose skin.... I really don't want to get to my 'goal weight' to STILL dislike what I see in the mirror bc of the skin, but hey, at least I won't be overweigh then!

I think we have made a good decision to better our health.. a good decision for ourselves AND our families that will help us be more active, set better examples, etc. There will be always be a fear of 'going under' and giving up control to a medical team, but I have confidence in my surgeon and in this procedure.

Sending good vibes your way.... I am sure we will both be great!

Me tooooo!! I'm so "not ready" in a way...

I'm worried about all of the following:

A. My apron tummy

B. My boobs

C. The skin on my upper thighs

D. My love of alcohol

E. My love of delicious, rich food

F. What if it doesn't work?

Will my new body be pretty? Will I be pissed that I can't drink? Will I be pissed that I can't eat? What if I try and screw everything up?

Is it worth having the body that I want or should I just let it go?

But then again, I really hate that I get winded on stairs and can't tie my own shoes or see parts of my body without hurting myself.

It sucks that it has to be this drastic.

The other part of me is super excited...

OK girls, my surgery is Tuesday and I have a lot of the same thoughts spinning through my head but I'm 64, 65 in April! I'm not married but I know I will have chicken wing arms and wobbly thighs and will definitely going for a tummy tuck as soon as they let me. I plan on announcing to friends and family on FB when I get home from the hospital. To calm my worries I bought new pretty night gowns, no elastic waists, for home, new robe and slippers for the hospital. I have started to give some of my fat clothes away and all those loose baggy sweats with paint stains are gone.

I went to my Zumba class today for the last time for a while and watched myself in those mirrors and all doubt and fear was gone. Just the thought of seeing 1/2 of me some day is enough to give me courage and confidence that this is the right thing for me. I know people who have cancelled the day before their surgery, after working 6-9 months to get there. But we all have our personal feelings, fear and hopes. So guys, let's go for it and report back when we get home and feel up to sharing. Best wishes, hugs and happy thoughts to you all!!!!

You're right!! It's time to do this for us! :) I love your attitude!

I am the day after y'all, on the 4th. I'm having a lot of the same thoughts. I am 35 and I have 3 kids. 18 (step son but been mommy since he was 5), a 9, and 11 year old. I am worried too. I'm worried about not...and then not making past 50 for them too...this is all very worrisome and a bit overwhelming.

I opened up this app today and what I wrote last night just posted.

Right now I am having a total freak out! U feel like I'm going to just burst into tears and start sobbing but, I don't want my kids to worry any more than they are so I'm fighting and losing as we speak.

I still feel on the fence, the fear is overwhelming me. Am I a total idiot for doing this now? Should I wait till I am older? Till I have comorbidities?

I want to be thin, I want to be healthy, I want to be around for a long long time with my family. I love my life..minus the fat, and shame I feel, and self loathing, and shopping, and ugh....I wish there was another way. This is so scary.

Congratulation's to you All!! I am so excited for you guys. I remember having those feelings and was so stressed over it. I have a 9 year old and was worried too like all the others here have posted the same. It is so normal for you guys to feel this way.

All I can say is I WISH I HAD DONE THIS SOONER. One thing I did to stop the stress was to make sure I had a back up plan if I was in the hospital longer than 1 day. I prepared my family, I packed bags for my son to stay with Nanna and sister etc. I made lists. I felt that the more organized I was the less stress I had.

You all can do this!! This was the best thing I have ever done. It only get's better from here.

Sleeved in July ...... took photo in Dec....

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post-183857-0-05514300-1391180574_thumb.jpg

I felt the same. My surgery was the 27th. My son was at his dad's since he had school and I had to be at the hospital at 5am. I was terrified of the what ifs. I wrote an I'm sorry and will always love you letter to my son, with a recorded message. Threatened his father to love and treat him right if I was not there. (I must've looked pretty scared, my ex actually gave me a hug and told me I'd be okay). This was my first surgery of my life so no past experiences to pull from. But that morning, I got up, dressed, waited for my ride to the hospital, things moved quickly from there, I started to panic when I got to the or, anesthesiologist gave me something to relax...and I woke up four hours later in a private room.

I'm alive. So far no complications. Came home and hid the letter to my son.

I think we all freak out.

We are all in my prayers!

Count down to Tuesday, positive attitude!!! Had nails done, clear polish as instructed, pedicure and hair cut. Will color tomorrow with warm honey blond to get rid of that grey. I'm preparing for this surgery like I'm going on a date?!!! In a way, it is because this will effect the rest of my life. My son gave me a gift card to Kohl's for $100.00 to be used for skinny clothes, what a guy. I usually visit him in MI in May but this year I'm delaying the trip till the fall so I can model those clothes. He is really my main incentive, all for the love of a child, which he still is at 44!

Congratulation's to you All!! I am so excited for you guys. I remember having those feelings and was so stressed over it. I have a 9 year old and was worried too like all the others here have posted the same. It is so normal for you guys to feel this way. All I can say is I WISH I HAD DONE THIS SOONER. One thing I did to stop the stress was to make sure I had a back up plan if I was in the hospital longer than 1 day. I prepared my family, I packed bags for my son to stay with Nanna and sister etc. I made lists. I felt that the more organized I was the less stress I had. You all can do this!! This was the best thing I have ever done. It only get's better from here. Sleeved in July ...... took photo in Dec....

Wow!!! You are gorgeous. Thank you for posting this motivation. :) I needed it!

  • Author

Thanks guys! Im still totally freaking out. I think i will write a letter to my daughter and husband. Im so terrified yo leave my baby :'(

It will be ok it will be ok it will be ok it will be ok........

On another note.... ive lost 14 pounds on the pre op full liquid diet. Does anyone else think... hey i can just do this and loose i dont have to have surgery.... anybody else feel that way? Lol

Gosh, I'm so glad I found this site and so many people in the same boat as me. I am having the RNY in Johannesburg, South Africa on the 5th.I live in East London on the east coast of SA. Heaviest weight 296 , currently 279... so at least the journey has started. I am on my 4th day of full liquids and it is a bit of a struggle! I have only told 2 people, so that's another issue I have to go through! My staff don't even know I'm leaving for Jburg on Tuesday... Ill have to make up some story by Monday morning...I find myself extremely emotional, cry for any little reason :(

I totally relate. I had the same fears and still do. I had the surgery Tuesday. They have come so far that I feel it's much safer than in years past. I'm sure my skin will be pathetic. Oh the horror but I will have to deal with all that when it comes. I also fear my hubby won't like the new me or I'll change somehow. All normal fears if you ask me. You can do this!!!! All these fears are normal. Good for you for sharing your feelings. We will all be here as we all journey through this. You got this momma!!!!!! And you'll be fabulous for it.

So my surgery is monday the 3rd. I cant believe this is actually happening. But im completely terrified. Im 34... i have a 6 year old...what if i die?? What if something goes wrong. What if i get to skinny and my husband isnt attracted to me anymore? Oh God... what if i have sooooo much loose skin that he isnt attracted? I have kind of the apron stomach already so i know i will have to have the pannaectomy (sp) after i loose. But i just have this mental picture of havkng so much loose skin it like hangs down to my knees. And its like flappppin away during sex and like hits me or him in the face :/ And my boobd are awesome but they sag a little now after the dear daughter breastfed. So after this they are gonna be so tube socky. I will prob be able to tie them in a knot and throw them over my shoulder as my stomach is flappin in the wind. But seriously..... i can NOT leave my precious beautiful daughter without a mother.... just because i dont want to be fat anymore! Anybody with me??

OMG you look gorgeous!!!!!!!!! That gave me hope. Thank you

Congratulation's to you All!! I am so excited for you guys. I remember having those feelings and was so stressed over it. I have a 9 year old and was worried too like all the others here have posted the same. It is so normal for you guys to feel this way. All I can say is I WISH I HAD DONE THIS SOONER. One thing I did to stop the stress was to make sure I had a back up plan if I was in the hospital longer than 1 day. I prepared my family, I packed bags for my son to stay with Nanna and sister etc. I made lists. I felt that the more organized I was the less stress I had. You all can do this!! This was the best thing I have ever done. It only get's better from here. Sleeved in July ...... took photo in Dec....

I'm 54 and I had my surgery 8 months ago. I have only one regret - that I didn't do this YEARS ago! I became overweight with my first pregnancy in '86 (full term twin girls), increasing my weight in '91 with my second pregnancy (10 1/2 pound son), and then steadily gaining from there. At first, because I was young, I was a pretty healthy fat person. I did things with my kids (even if I was uncomfortable or embarrassed). Gradually I developed back, knee, and foot pain. I became less active because of the pain and continued to gain weight. I had high cholesterol, was pre-diabetic, carb-sensitive, and had gall stones from my continuous high fat diet. I was on medication for the cholesterol that affected my liver. My husband is into body building and is extremely fit and healthy. He looks 15 years younger than me. I couldn't do anything with him. Last year I was in so much pain that I could barely get through my workday (I work in a bank). I was miserable and becoming more unhealthy with each month that passed. I only had a few items of clothing that fit and they were getting tight. The thought of buying something in sz24 or 3x made me cringe. I'm only 5' tall and I was pretty huge.

I'm telling you all this because most of you seem young with young families. If you do this now you can enjoy your younger years and be a bigger part of your children's lives. You can be the fun mom doing things with your kids, not the one who watches the fun happen from the sidelines. You can get healthy BEFORE the health problems start to do damage to your bodies and make you miserable - perhaps even shortening your life. You can LIVE and not just EXIST.

I had my surgery on 5/30/13

I healed quickly with no complications and very little discomfort. By July my snoring stopped. By August I was off meds and feeling really good. By fall I was very active - all my body aches and pains were gone. I was loving shopping for clothes and I was a size 16. By Christmas I had lost 100 pounds and was a size 10! I'm only 9 pounds away from my married weight. I go with my husband on his motorcycle - back-boobs are gone and I look great in my leather jacket. I walk my dogs a lot and they are no longer chubby, too! I am SO VERY HAPPY and I feel GREAT!!! I wasted so much of my life feeling terrible, physically and mentally.

If you do this now you won't regret it. In all my research I couldn't find anyone who did. Even the few I found who had complications said they had no regrets. The only regret most have is that they waited too long. Only you know what is best for you. But if you wonder if you should wait until you develop weight-related problems that says to me that you know nothing will change between now and then. Why wait?

Just my thoughts... :-)

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