I was excited to see this category but a little disappointed thre isn't a lot being posted.. My husband will get his band on 1/6/14, 3 days from now.

I think I feel more overwhelmed than he does. Being the wife I have the feeling of the caretaker, and even though he should be totally responsible for how well he progresses, I fear that its going to be a battle.
I kind of feel that through the whole process leading up to the surgery that the spouse should be included and maybe even required to attend the meetings with nutritionist, trainer, doctor etc..
Some of you think probably that this is their surgery and weight loss, but if you're married to someone that is going to be making this drastic lifestyle transformation, you know we will be or should be totally involved.

I wonder if their are others that feel like this or do you think I am being negative? Sometimes I do have that tendency. I might also mention if any of you are curious, We have been married for 34 years, my weight is 160, about 20 lbs over my ideal weight.

WOW....... to the Nth POWER

I am happy that I was able to go to all appointments, all but one nutrition class, and will be at all preop/postop visits. I've been the one on this site regularly conveying "nuggets" to him here and there. I am not convinced that he has done the same but I think that he is relying on me to be researching information. This weekend we will work to get everything he needs for his pre-op diet that starts on Monday. He's getting sleeved on 2/10 and says he is excited but I know that the reality of the pre-op diet and surgery recovery will be a huge reality check. Thanks for creating this outlet for family members - we need it!

Crayolagal i totally understand your struggle

I totally agree -- i have been married for 34 years also - i am about 5 months out-- have lost almost 70 lbs. My husband has been a wonderful husband for 34 years and supported my decision to do this. However, i chose to only tell my children. This was really hard for him and to make it worse i was so involved for months-- on line and educating myself on the whole process that he said he felt rejected. I had no idea until i found out he made some very bad choices that has made me feel betrayed and heartbroken-- not adultry - but it still feels terrible. He says he is glad i did this for my health --- but it makes me feel guilty. It is really true--- this definitly is life changing surgery. I am writing this because I did so much research-----and this was the very last thing I expected. I do feel terrific and look better than i have in years,

I totally agree -- i have been married for 34 years also - i am about 5 months out-- have lost almost 70 lbs. My husband has been a wonderful husband for 34 years and supported my decision to do this. However, i chose to only tell my children. This was really hard for him and to make it worse i was so involved for months-- on line and educating myself on the whole process that he said he felt rejected. I had no idea until i found out he made some very bad choices that has made me feel betrayed and heartbroken-- not adultry - but it still feels terrible. He says he is glad i did this for my health --- but it makes me feel guilty. It is really true--- this definitly is life changing surgery. I am writing this because I did so much research-----and this was the very last thing I expected. I do feel terrific and look better than i have in years,

ABJ, my husband and I did this together. I think my husband would have felt rejected also. Now is the time to focus on you and your husband I hope, and maybe a lot of pampering each other. Best wishes to you both for many more happy years together. God Bless.

There is a new support forum starting up. The Facebook page is +1crew and the YouTube page is WLS plus 1 crew

There is a new support forum starting up. The Facebook page is +1crew and the YouTube page is WLS plus 1 crew

I'm not finding it on fb

My husband just had the band on 4/3/14 and I have been to every appointment with him. My biggest struggle is watching him getting sick all the time. I hate to see him this way. He has had vomitting since the surgery. We called the nurse and she just says make sure he stays on the clear liquid diet. We have done that but everything he drinks comes back up most of the time. He takes his meds as prescribed, walks and does everything we were told. I know it is wearing on him which makes it hard for me also. When does it stop and he can feel somewhat normal again?

You need to start a new topic Vomiting with the Lapband and get replies from lapband experts. Personally I would be in the doctor's office immediately if I were vomiting every single day. Something is wrong.

Gmanbat...I just looked at your pictures of u and your wife plus Grandkids..... You both look amazing and stunning and it is so inspirational thank you so much!!

2 week pre-op high Protein diet started 03/13; date of husband's sleeve 03/28

I'm down 8-9 lbs and he's down 32 lbs! :-D

Though he's been being stubborn about not trying soft food until post-op week 3.

As the forum states I am the spouse. My husband was sleeved on 6/30 and everything went well. He was in the hospital for 2 days I stayed with him both days. He had no problems now here we are at home and on day 6 he started to have drainage come from the larger incision site. I have made a call to the on call surgeon and she said evertlything is normal. The next day I changed the bandage and there is more drainage with another call to the oncall surgeon she again says everything is ok but to call our surgeon in the morning. So here I am waiting for the office to open so I can call. I feel helpless he is freaking out because of the drainage I am a bit too but cannot show it so I put on a brave face and keep going through the motions. I have maybe slept 6 hours in the past 2 days (if I slept more it wasn't good sleep) it gets easier for us spouses right?

As the forum states I am the spouse. My husband was sleeved on 6/30 and everything went well. He was in the hospital for 2 days I stayed with him both days. He had no problems now here we are at home and on day 6 he started to have drainage come from the larger incision site. I have made a call to the on call surgeon and she said evertlything is normal. The next day I changed the bandage and there is more drainage with another call to the oncall surgeon she again says everything is ok but to call our surgeon in the morning. So here I am waiting for the office to open so I can call. I feel helpless he is freaking out because of the drainage I am a bit too but cannot show it so I put on a brave face and keep going through the motions. I have maybe slept 6 hours in the past 2 days (if I slept more it wasn't good sleep) it gets easier for us spouses right?

How about insisting he come in to see the doc since you are still not satisfied all is okay? We had no drainage and we were both sleeved. It may be normal but surgery is scary. You have the right to say we would feel better if the surgeon would just take a look. Best of luck!!!

How about insisting he come in to see the doc since you are still not satisfied all is okay? We had no drainage and we were both sleeved. It may be normal but surgery is scary. You have the right to say we would feel better if the surgeon would just take a look. Best of luck!!!

We did wind up seeing the doctor. He has the start of an infection that we caught early. He is like a new man after seeing the doc. He had feared that this was a huge setback which I kept telling him it wasn't. But what do I know....lol . Thank you for the reply and letting me vent.

This is a wonderful place for good information and support! Glad all is well.

Dear Rockin

I'm also a spouse, my husband was sleeved July 7. I'm not sure if this gets easier for the spouse. Our doctor and nutritionist both said that the surgery is the easy part, the work that comes after is the hard part, the life changing part. I think this extends to the spouse. I think that for the spouse we have a lot of the same worries as the patient pre-op; during surgery they are asleep and we worry, have fears, are stressed; and post-op have a different set of concerns as care taker and supporter. There are so many supports for the patient (family, friends, online support groups, local support groups), but very little for the spouse. Continue being an advocate, Im glad you caught the infection early.