Must go and live life today..

Including getting blood tests to show everything is good and in track

But I wanted to put this out there..

This is me. I'm doing well, but this is me

I have OCD and it may make things a little more challenging at times..

Thank you for indulging me

Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by the compulsive eating of food. Professionals address this with either a behavior therapy model or a food-addiction model.[1]

An individual suffering from compulsive overeating engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binge eating, during which she or he may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Bingeing in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their bingeing with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use, or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry. Their obsession is demonstrated in that they spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone. Compulsive overeating usually leads to weight gain and obesity, but is not the only cause of obesity. While compulsive overeaters tend to be overweight or obese, persons of normal or average weight can also be affected.

In addition to binge eating, compulsive overeaters can also engage in grazing behavior, during which they return to pick at food throughout the day. These things result in a large overall number of calories consumed even if the quantities eaten at any one time may be small. When a compulsive eater overeats primarily through bingeing, he or she can be said to have binge eating disorder.

Signs and symptoms

Binge eating, or eating uncontrollably even when not physically hungry

Eating much more rapidly than normal

Eating alone due to shame and embarrassment

Feelings of guilt due to overeating

Preoccupation with body weight

Depression or mood swings

Awareness that eating patterns are abnormal

Rapid weight gain or sudden onset of obesity

Significantly decreased mobility due to weight gain

History of weight fluctuations

Withdrawal from activities because of embarrassment about weight

History of many different unsuccessful diets

Eating little in public, but maintaining a high body weight

Very low self-esteem and feeling need to eat greater and greater amounts.

Addiction

During binges, compulsive overeaters may consume from 5,000 to 15,000 food calories daily, resulting in a temporary release from psychological stress through an addictive high not unlike that experienced through drug abuse. In bulimics, this high may be intensified by the act of purging. Researchers have speculated there is an abnormality of endorphin metabolism in the brain of binge eaters that triggers the addictive process. This is in line with other theories of addiction that attribute it not to avoidance of withdrawal symptoms, but to a primary problem in the reward centers of the brain. For the compulsive overeater, the ingestion of trigger foods causes release of the neurotransmitter, serotonin. This could be another sign of neurobiological factors contributing to the addictive process. Abstinence from addictive food and food eating processes causes withdrawal symptoms in those with eating disorders. There may be higher levels of depression and anxiety due to the decreased levels of serotonin in the individual.[2]

There are complexities with the biology of compulsive eating that separate it from a pure substance abuse analogy. Food is a complex mixture of chemicals that can affect the body in multiple ways, which is magnified by stomach-brain communication. In some ways, it may be much more difficult for compulsive overeaters to recover than drug addicts. There is an anecdotal saying among Overeaters Anonymous members that "when you are addicted to drugs you put the tiger in the cage to recover; when you are addicted to food you put the tiger in the cage, but take it out three times a day for a walk."[2]

The physical explanation of compulsive overeating may be attributed to an overeaters' increased tendency to secrete insulin at the sight and smell of food, though medical evidence supporting this is controversial.[3] Research has found a link between the sugar and fat content of foods and bingeing behaviors.[4]

Not off track at all!

Sometimes I've wondered if this surgery "feeds"

Into my compulsiveness about food.

Tracking weighing, measuring Protein, Water,

timing, thinking..

I am happy for the 5:2 also

#1 because I love you girls:)

#2 because being a sleeve patient and the way we eat makes it like all day grazing I feel..

Thanks for starting this Laura, and thank you all for your honest and thoughtful revelations. I keep writing more than this, but can't seem to say what I mean yet. Yes, eating food has been an act of self medication for me. During the years where I did some head work reflecting on the whole process.. I realized that I was not getting the satisfaction I wanted from eating...I could eat anything I wanted really, this is a first world problem... and would... and come out the other end, unsatisfied. I would be full, I would be numbed, I would be fed, I would be stimulated by the taste...but I didn't get what I wanted from it... what is it I wanted anyway? Satisfaction. Now I don't know if the dissatisfaction was mental, chemical, or what... driven by insulin resistance? By unhappiness? By feelings or what? What kind of hunger? Perhaps a mix. I have to say that now I still get that hunger,and eating carbs (straight sugar content) will get me there quicker for sure... I want more, I eat more, I am not satisfied in the way I want... but must getting something, because I go back for more..... what I got was fat. Does the body want to be fat for survival reasons? Anyway... I have to say, that the sleeve helps that some (perhaps the ghrelin reduction) and the 5:2 protocol leaves me more satisfied. Even if I eat some sugar (not a lot....danger Will Robinson!!) but I think the fasting part, the longer rest between meals, helps me to feel satisfied more with what i eat... to see it a little bit more as fuel... the day after the fast, I have better restriction,and a little bit of a noticeable satisfaction from my emptiness. Its such a relief. I don't feel as much like I need to medicate with the food. I'm not saying its totally gone, just a little less... which makes life a little easier. I think about food waaaay too much... just following the tracking, weighing and reading labels, and cooking means I have to think about it to stay on track, but the "extra" thinking about it, that goes beyond that, the obsession, its not as much now. Off track? Sorry, train of thought... you should see all the stuff I threw out before posting this!

Oh satisfaction??

You know the old song? I can't get no...

It's was always about filling that hole that never truly gets filled.

Gosh, to have OCD with Tourette's is a struggle at times....but is manageable with meds. LV it sounds like your son has a wonderful caring mom and dad that are always be there for him..... Such joys...i do believe that OCD can also be a learned behavior too.......it's just retraining ourselves once we are aware of what's going on.

Its part of what makes him unique and unstoppable.. He will accomplish big things.

Shit he already has.. Lol I don't know half of what that kid is talking about most times

He can get bogged down in the details sometimes and at age 11 sometimes puts to much pressure on himself to produce (produce what I do not know) and invent.

I get him though, with his obsessive thought process.

I sometimes feel paralyzed in my thoughts and behaviors..

Sounds like a neat kid.

Sounds like a neat kid.

He is, but sometimes the kids around him aren't.

From the minute he was diagnosed, he has been a open book about it.. When he was little (5)

He would tell kids I have tics.. Not the kind that bite but... Then he would go into the whole history of Tourette's. And the kids would say ok and life and play would go on.

Now he's 11 and in junior high. It's not always as easy. He has two Major strikes he is gifted smart and he makes funny movements..

Oh three strikes! He has a momma that always wants to kick a kids azz if he messes with my kid:p

I eat... out of boredom... If I'm 'engaged' in something, I eat less. Evenings.... bad.. very bad....

I find myself doing this too... I have to mentally/physically realize what I'm doing and stop!! It's horrible...I tell ya, I was so ignorant and in my mind, once I had WLS I wouldn't be hungry, I wouldn't WANT to eat, and it would all be easy - sure I thought I might have some bad times, but NOTHING like it really is. The mind games are awful. I will know I'm not hungry and still want something...it's so frustrating. I want to stay away from that...so much easier said than done - I thought losing the weight would be my ultimate motivator...and in a small way it is, but not enough to make my mind shut up.

Oh three strikes! He has a momma that always wants to kick a kids azz if he messes with my kid:p

Hah! That's me too!!!

I am totally with you Madame Rev - the nights are the worst. It obviously has something to do with having the time to relax. Keeping busy all day and I can stay on track but the minute I sit down to relax. The Peanut Butter jar starts calling my name. Or its the mini baby bell cheese and crackers. Not terrible Snacks but not if I've already consumed my calories for the day. It's not the 80 calorie non fat greek yogurt calling its that darn full fat peanut butter.

Having spent a lifetime at weight watchers, jenny craig, LA weight loss etc. I know the theory is that we are eating out of boredom, unhappiness or some other emotion but I've always felt that I am a perfectly happy person but I just like the taste of food.

The sleeve has certainly helped with portion size and loosing so much weight has made excercise easier to incorporate but I still struggle with those night time callings.

Nighttime eating for me is all about fatigue. It's not a lack of will power, our bodies are tired at the end of the day and they need fuel to keep going. The body sends you signals to refuel when it's tired. Anyone ever snack mindlessly when you stayed up late? Anyone ever found themselves standing in front of an open fridge at night staring at the choices....trying to figure out what you want even though you're not really hungry? It helps keep you awake. It's a strategy we've all learned over a lifetime, that eating wards off fatigue....temporarily.

The solution for me, as simplistic as it sounds, was to start recognizing that I was tired and just go to bed. I don't need to stay up later if I can't do it without raiding the fridge. I'm always afraid I'm going to miss something if I go to bed early, but really what am I missing? Nothing but mindless snacking.

I have always been hungrier in the evenings than first thing in the morning. Even when I was a skinny child if wake up at 10 pm and need a snack which my mom used to save in the fridge for me. My biological son has to have a midnight snack and he's naturally skinny<br><br> I try not to eat after 9 pm but I definitely "day end load" my calories. Often by 3 pm, I've only had around 300 calories, and all the rest come in the evening. I know they say eat early etc., but really there's ZERO scientific evidence to show that late eating is worse for you. It comes down to total calories and type of calories.

Agree with everyone. I have never thought my binging was compulsive just done out of boredom and wanting the taste. Either salty then sweet. I do think for me over eating comes from not wanting to always be in control. At night when we are relaxed and sitting doing nothing my mind wanders and for some reason it wanders to something eat. These past few months I have begun working puzzles in the evening. It keeps my hands and mind busy and I am able to do less evening grazing. I will also go upstairs away from the kitchen. But even then I might take a zombie walk downstairs knowing I should stop but nothing in the head says stop! Like I can't help myself even though I know its wrong. But somedays when I am really focused and determined I dnt start. I get tired of being focused and in control hece the struggle

..... etc., but really there's ZERO scientific evidence to show that late eating is worse for you. It comes down to total calories and type of calories.

Yep...another one of those assumptions that became "common knowledge" without any basis of truth.

I eat a snack every single evening now..1/4 of a cup of nuts or fruit...If I don't I wake up at 3 am and have to get some cheese or something else and who can think at that hour...My nut wanted me to eat 3 meals and 3 Snacks..I could not do it..Felt I was eating all the time..So i went to 3 meals and 1 snack at night...Maybe that is why my weight loss has slowed down I don't know...don't really care....I am going to have a healthy snack at night for as long as I need to...

I fail with the healthy snack though when I eat popcorn..It seems to take 3 c. to satisfy my snacking..Rarely eat it now...dratz

Hey, I am CDO -- That's OCD in alphabetical order.

Ouch.....I really identify with alot of those symptoms. Sadly. I was, and still am, a sneaky eater. Not like before....but it's still there.

A big example is something that's coming up....that I'm dreading. At Xmas, we'll go to the inlaws' for a few days. And they will make big food feasts 3 times a day...always with leftovers. You cannot walk through the kitchen without good food sitting right there on the counter 24/7. And I can't seem to pass through without grabbing something. I cannot keep my hands in my pocket. Being hungry has nothing to do with it. It's so stressful for me, that I actually dread the whole visit and do not look forward to the holiday any more.

I resent them for making everything such a food centered event, but I resent myself more for not being able to resist.

Oh my gosh, I soooooooo identify with that last statement. I really thought I had my head in the right place when we went up to my mom's last week. And she had the usual treats around (Cookies and ice cream and fudge!) oh my! Which I was able to resist. But then she made this huge batch of mixed nuts that she had put a honey glaze on. OMG...like fricken crack I tell you! And part of my brain said "nuts are ok, they have protein" but then the other more rational part said "yeah but you know how many fricken calories are in just a FEW nuts? and ones that have a sugar coating on them?" So she wasn't happy with they way they turned out. They were sticky. She finally moved them from the baking pan to a glass bowl. STILL not controlling myself, as they were just sitting there, too easy to grab 3 or 4 here and there throughout the day. Finally, on Thanksgiving, I told myself I was going to "stir" the nuts so that they could GO OUT on the table with the appetizers with my full intention being that they would get consumed by the 14 other guests and that I would NOT HAVE TO WORRY about the crack...er NUTS anymore. Wouldn't you know as I was stirring the sticky nuts, the whole bowl fell off the counter and shattered. It was such a wake up call for me. It was like I snapped out of the sugar coma and realized how addictive they were. And once they were all over the floor among the glass shards there was no where for them to go, except in the trash. I felt really bad about the bowl but my mom assured me it wasn't a favorite bowl or anything.

So, at what point after your surgery did you notice that it was harder and harder to resist? Right now, at almost 7 months, resisting is easy. Was it easy for you at first and then it changed? If so, when?

It's slow and it sneaks up on you. Being "aware" and not letting your guard down is a big piece of advice I have for those of you who are still in the "easy to resist" category.

I am about the same 'distance' out as Lipstick. And I have similar concerns. I dealt with Thanksgiving (and will deal with Christmas) the same way. I will have a daily food plan that I WILL follow. I cannot snack on all the stuff left out. When I do, it's Game Over for that day, and is hellishly hard to regain control over the next DAYS.