Okay, guys. I need your learned assistance.

My Mother is visiting.. (ergo the Jaws music - or, if you prefer - a bit of Carl Orf)

She doesn't know I've had surgery. No one knows, apart from my Fiance. (My choice, and with very good reasons for keeping it from her)

Anyhooo... There will be a requirement to attend a very nice restaurant at some point, as we have something to Celebrate.

I will not be able to get out of this. I will, however, be able to select the restaurant.

Since being 'done', I have eaten out at mid-level eateries. However, I have been in the presence of fellow sleevers/RNY-ers or my Fiance. Consequently and in those circumstances, I can 'pick' at will and eat as little as I like without anyone turning a hair.

My Mother, is different.

She is a hawk-eye. She will undoubtedly notice in the first instance that I've shed a load of weight. This will undoubtedly result in her analysing everything I eat and drink - to make sure that I haven't got some secret disease or am pregnant or something.

She's an ex-nurse, incredibly bright and has 'street-smarts' - so I'm not going to be able to BS my way through this one very easily.

I have tried a variety of foods and some I can eat more of than others. Clearly, dense Protein is hefty and fills you up quickly. However, I need to find a meal that is light and in being so, allows me to fanny around with it over a period of time and look like I've eaten a 'decent' sized meal accordingly.

I can't order a starter and be done with it - it has to be a main meal. I would also look odd to order a salad - given that it is approaching zero degrees here.

I don't like a lot of fish (and she knows I'm not a fan, so to order it would appear out of character). And for reference, it would unlikely be a an asian/chinese/thai restaurant we'd go to - more French/European.

Any suggestions folks?

I'd be grateful for any inspiration -at all - 'cause I'm bamboozled and starting to freak out just a little bit.

I can just imagine the mini 'show down' in the restaurant if she even smelt the whiff of deception.... :ph34r:

To be fair, RJ, i do take sips of Water during my meals - so it wouldn't be that noticeable. Can't do food without it. Me no likey 'dry' eating. I'll have to order a glass of wine though - as I have ALWAYS had wine with dinner when out. The moment I didn't drink, would be the moment that she'd eye me suspiciously. She'd probably assume I were pregnant! Arrrgh!

The 'exhaustion' argument is a good one, as we will have had a very long and excitable day. Combine exhaustion with 'isn't the soup awful' and I might be onto a winner...

Well well, exceptions to the rules eh!!! Why does that not surprise me...lol

You can always pretend you have a cough and put the chewed food in your napkin when she is not looking....Hey I know it's a stretch but I have seen it in the movies...oh and Mr. Bean put his in the flower pot next to him....No one even noticed...lolololo

Again, nice in sentiment and I'm glad it worked for you - but absolutely not going to happen in practice. My Mum is old and has health conditions that preclude me from ever telling her. Her health and wellbeing are more important than my relieving myself of this little secret. It wouldn't matter how old she is - by my, her baby, not seeking her counsel prior to taking the decision to get carved up on the slab? Her blood pressure would go through the roof. This, is NOT an option.

Oh see! you love your mum!

Mine? Meh... Ask her fifth husband how lovable she is

Looks like creativity it is then. The soup bit is good, and maybe tell her you're getting over a stomach thing and just don't want to push it..

Tooth ache....can't chew, soup or broth only....

Oh see! you love your mum!

Mine? Meh... Ask her fifth husband how lovable she is

Looks like creativity it is then. The soup bit is good, and maybe tell her you're getting over a stomach thing and just don't want to push it..

I do love my mum. She's a right, royal pain in the bum, but I do love her.

After all, where d'ya think I got all my sparkling 'attributes' from?! Muahahaha.....

And your Mum in on her fifth husband?! Good for her! She must like wedding cake.... and dresses.

As for the creativity.. I was also thinking of deploying the 'GERD' thing. I, being the wily coyote I am, had already primed her of this 'diagnosis', ooh, about 1.5 months ago..... :ph34r:

Girl, just TELL HER!

Okay, guys. I need your learned assistance.

My Mother is visiting.. (ergo the Jaws music - or, if you prefer - a bit of Carl Orf)

She doesn't know I've had surgery. No one knows, apart from my Fiance. (My choice, and with very good reasons for keeping it from her)

Anyhooo... There will be a requirement to attend a very nice restaurant at some point, as we have something to Celebrate.

I will not be able to get out of this. I will, however, be able to select the restaurant.

Since being 'done', I have eaten out at mid-level eateries. However, I have been in the presence of fellow sleevers/RNY-ers or my Fiance. Consequently and in those circumstances, I can 'pick' at will and eat as little as I like without anyone turning a hair.

My Mother, is different.

She is a hawk-eye. She will undoubtedly notice in the first instance that I've shed a load of weight. This will undoubtedly result in her analysing everything I eat and drink - to make sure that I haven't got some secret disease or am pregnant or something.

She's an ex-nurse, incredibly bright and has 'street-smarts' - so I'm not going to be able to BS my way through this one very easily.

I have tried a variety of foods and some I can eat more of than others. Clearly, dense Protein is hefty and fills you up quickly. However, I need to find a meal that is light and in being so, allows me to fanny around with it over a period of time and look like I've eaten a 'decent' sized meal accordingly.

I can't order a starter and be done with it - it has to be a main meal. I would also look odd to order a salad - given that it is approaching zero degrees here.

I don't like a lot of fish (and she knows I'm not a fan, so to order it would appear out of character). And for reference, it would unlikely be a an asian/chinese/thai restaurant we'd go to - more French/European.

Any suggestions folks?

I'd be grateful for any inspiration -at all - 'cause I'm bamboozled and starting to freak out just a little bit.

I can just imagine the mini 'show down' in the restaurant if she even smelt the whiff of deception.... :ph34r:

Wear looser clothes and keep excusing yourself to go to the restroom during dinner. She will eventually ask what's wrong and tell her that you're having stomach issues and need to take your food to go. Of coarse only after you've eaten enough to satisfy your sleeve. maybe tell her you ate some questionable food the day before and might have gotten slight food poison?

...and since it is obvious that you are losing weight, there is certainly no harm in saying that your tummy has shrunk (as it indeed has!), and you just aren't able to eat all/or as much as you have in the past. Otherwise, you've got to make excuses for your weight loss, why not own it on your own terms with your mum.

A nice thin Soup is a good call

I love the "I don't like this..." for at least one course

Perhaps you can order an entree that has lettuce leaves as decoration and you can stealthily slide some entree under the leaves

I know you can manage a few sips of wine for the cause (I've had one small glass of white about a month ago - I didn't get all weird with it. I was never much of a drinker, so I didn't expect to go off the deep end)

.

Wear looser clothes and keep excusing yourself to go to the restroom during dinner. She will eventually ask what's wrong and tell her that you're having stomach issues and need to take your food to go. Of coarse only after you've eaten enough to satisfy your sleeve. maybe tell her you ate some questionable food the day before and might have gotten slight food poison?

Sadly, this isn't going to happen. I'm wearing a fairly posh frock for the day. And it fits. I could put it down to nervous exhaustion, I guess. Certainly won't be wrecking everyones evening with the 'woe is me' act. Particularly in a posh restaurant. Just got to find something easily eaten and sleeve/dinner party friendly!

...and since it is obvious that you are losing weight, there is certainly no harm in saying that your tummy has shrunk (as it indeed has!), and you just aren't able to eat all/or as much as you have in the past. Otherwise, you've got to make excuses for your weight loss, why not own it on your own terms with your mum.

A nice thin soup is a good call

I love the "I don't like this..." for at least one course

Perhaps you can order an entree that has lettuce leaves as decoration and you can stealthily slide some entree under the leaves

I know you can manage a few sips of wine for the cause (I've had one small glass of white about a month ago - I didn't get all weird with it. I was never much of a drinker, so I didn't expect to go off the deep end)

.

Wine? I am ALL good with the wine... and vodka.. and cider... and Guinness

M. Rev, think you need to go with recovering from a dose of the runs. That way, you can say you are being careful and can't eat a lot.

But not sure that explains the weightloss which I think she might clock...

Now I'm picturing Kim Jong un in a posh frock...awesome

If she goes to the restroom, get rid of part of it. Have your fiancée sneak bites when she isn't looking!

Tell her you are on a diet and like it or not this meal needs to be fish and spinach according to the diet plan. Ask your BF to gulp your wine when Mom momentarily looks away.

I hear there is a bit of a stomach bug going around....main symptom just happens to be a small appetite due to nausea. You can trust me, I'm a nurse

Wink wink

Since you've had such awesome success, maybe just tell her you're on a serious, doctor approved low calorie diet and really determined to stick with it? Maybe make a production of looking at the menu online before you go to pick out what's in your calorie budget for dinner or something?

Good luck - I wish my mom were still around to bitch at me

M. Rev, think you need to go with recovering from a dose of the runs. That way, you can say you are being careful and can't eat a lot.

But not sure that explains the weightloss which I think she might clock...

I was thinking of saying I'm on the Atkins diet. No carbs, more meat. Mix it with the GERD and I have to do 6 small meals a day to avoid keeling over...

Now I'm picturing Kim Jong un in a posh frock...awesome

Careful there, that could stir many things in many people!

If she goes to the restroom, get rid of part of it. Have your fiancée sneak bites when she isn't looking!

The man is already my human dustbin, bless him. He has agreed to be complicit in the food disposal exercise

Tell her you are on a diet and like it or not this meal needs to be fish and spinach according to the diet plan. Ask your BF to gulp your wine when Mom momentarily looks away.

The man will NOT be getting my wine. Ever

I hear there is a bit of a stomach bug going around....main symptom just happens to be a small appetite due to nausea. You can trust me, I'm a nurse

Wink wink

I may go for the nervous exhaustion thing.. That normally kicks the intestines into overdrive, doesn't it? <poop poop!>