Why do we do that? Why must we compare?

I think it's in our genes!!! Seriously!

I am extremely competitive. I don't quit until I win. No one wants to play games with me because I truly suck as a person when there is a win or loss on the line. I am at the top of my field in my area for what I do and if someone better moved in, I would find a way to pass them up or bleed from my eyes trying. My oldest is just like me and I can't say I'm proud of it. It's just this innate thing I can't suppress unless I remove myself totally from the situation.

That said, I cannot play silly competition amongst women. I swear I should have been born a man. I totally don't get it. If your choice doesn't affect me, why play this silly game?

Working mom vs. Stay at home mom. (I pissed them all off by working from home. They didn't know what to do with that.)

The earrings and make-up at the gym.

Who came with the tallest Starbucks cup and the most expensive yoga/tennis/golf outfit to the 7am PTA meeting.

Who's husband worked the most hours/made the most money.

Who carried the best handbag or drove the newest minivan.

And yes, we see it here. Makes me crazy. Who gives a flying fluck!?!?!

Working mom vs. Stay at home mom. (I pissed them all off by working from home. They didn't know what to do with that.)

The earrings and make-up at the gym.

Who came with the tallest Starbucks cup and the most expensive yoga/tennis/golf outfit to the 7am PTA meeting.

Who's husband worked the most hours/made the most money.

Who carried the best handbag or drove the newest minivan.

So some women really and seriously compete/compare things like this???

So some women really and seriously compete/compare things like this???

Yeah, a large majority do. It may just be me (and I'm a tad dramatic ) but being a woman these days can be downright exhausting.

I think it's especially damaging to our fragile in transition psyches when this competition takes place here.

Yesterday was a day of behind the scenes comparisons.. I felt a comparison and competition where there should be none.

I am older? I am lazy? Yes you've done better than me?

Which one? I will say it. To be free of the comparison that does nothing but tear down my own personal success.

Or was that the intent..

Be proud, and I will be proud. You are not me, I am not you..

I think it's especially damaging to our fragile in transition psyches when this competition takes place here. Yesterday was a day of behind the scenes comparisons.. I felt a comparison and competition where there should be none. I am older? I am lazy? Yes you've done better than me? Which one? I will say it. To be free of the comparison that does nothing but tear down my own personal success. Or was that the intent.. Be proud, and I will be proud. You are not me, I am not you..

Agreed. I've seen enough "one-ups" on here to not make me want to post my NSV, stats, etc. ever! But again, I'm slightly dramatic haha

I'm sorry that happened to you, LV. This certainly isn't the venue for that kind of nonsense. You know you're killing it. Don't ever let someone make you question your success!

I think it's especially damaging to our fragile in transition psyches when this competition takes place here. <br> Yesterday was a day of behind the scenes comparisons.. I felt a comparison and competition where there should be none. <br> I am older? I am lazy? Yes you've done better than me? <br> Which one? I will say it. To be free of the comparison that does nothing but tear down my own personal success. <br> Or was that the intent.. <br> Be proud, and I will be proud. You are not me, I am not you..

Honestly I think you have done great. Not only with your weight loss success, but with your one on one advice with other people. That truly means a lot to other people when you take the time to help them and give your to cents. Um, not sure if you've noticed but people look up to you around here. So maybe people want to "One Up" you around here, they don't stand a chance!!! Your the whole package baby! Don't let ignorance bring you down. I've told you before I can't wait to walk a day in your shoes, except I will have lots of cellulite, and well some veins, and well the list goes on!! Lol

Wow....guess I've missed something! Laura.....I have no idea how anyone could "one up" you anyway.....you're amazing! I have no idea what exactly is being compared, but anyone can look good online and post that they can do this or that and not really have to prove it. Don't let these people kill your joy....you've done great!

We've made a drastic scary courageous move having this surgery... All of us!

And all of us are MUCH improved, right?

It's hard not to compare.. I try not too, but I find myself looking at stats too.

But to pick apart (ever so nicely that you did) does tear a person down..

We've all had years of that some of it self inflicted.

And thanks guys.. Lol this wasn't a thinly disguised attempt to gather complements

Just a hurt I wanted to get out.

If we compare against the next girl (or guy)

It will do one of two things..

make you feel better at the expense of the other person.

Or it will be another thing added to tear you down.

We know. You don't have to trick us into giving you compliments. It's so easy to compliment you Laura! I hope you learn to not let this type of person tear you down or get to you....though that's easier said than done. Wish I could give you a big hug...make ya feel better!

So sorry Laura Ven. I hope you can let that hurt go and move on. Some people inflict pain on purpose, some without ever realizing that they did. But whatever they say, it's really in their minds, not mine. I prefer to only compare myself to myself. How am I doing compared to last year? Am I better at this than I was last time I tried it?

Drink a nice cup of tea or whatever and reflect on your success. You are loved on this forum, you are loved by your family, you are doing a great job of being supportive here and at home. And you look fabulous!

Lynda

All I'll say is Laura....and to anyone else....the person who would try to tear you down, their opinion really does not matter. Only yours. The person who does such things only does it to make themselves feel better...because they are feeling low. They can't see any other way to bring themselves up other than to tear someone else down. The moment they start that behavior...their opinion should become meaningless to you. They are not worthy.

I try not to compare, although at times, it's hard not too, but I would never make anyone feel worse about themselves. And LV, don't let anyone do that to you! You are amazing!

Yes Lynda! I compare to myself at this time last year! As I'm at a year now and I'm happy!

Oh and aroundhky, if you really wanted to cheer me up you flash one of those shirtless photos!

I promise not to compare