HI everyone,

I am a newbie here and am only 3 days out of surgery. I have only told a couple people (husband, very close friends) about the surgery and don't really want to share with other people such as co-workers, less close friends, etc. This is partly because I consider it private, but also partly because I just don't want to deal with the judgement (some of my co-workers in particular are super athletic and very judgemental about people being overweight.) I am not sure how quickly I should expect weight to come off and if I will be asked questions about it, but I was wondering what strategies others have used in responding to questions/comments about weightloss?

People generally say things like "Wow you lost weight" or "Wow you look great". My general response is "Thanks ".

If they dig for more details I just say, "you know the usual, eating less and exercising more." It's not like I'm lying.

Wishing you a speedy recovery! Good luck on your journey!

Ok, great! Maybe I am expecting people to be more pushy than they really will be :-)

I would just say that you are on a diet and taking care of yourself nutritionally. People should accept that.

I told all my work friends and close friends and family. I find that I need the support and they are really good about it except for today they see I'm having a bad day and are afraid to take the chocolate away from me lol

Everyone loses the weight differently. I myself am not eating as well as I should but do drink my Protein shakes though and that helps you lose weight. I average about 1lb a day.

Good luck in whatever you decide to tell people. Just remember it's nobody's business what you do. If they don't "approve" I would just ignore them.

Limiting caloric intake! Works every time it's tried. They don't need to know HOW I'm doing that. Most people arent even aware they eat 3000+ a day. If they're really interested I just break down a normal meal and show them where all the calories are and say "i have a Protein shake instead".

I also chose to not tell many people, so none of my local friends know except 1, and only my mom knows as far as family. At work, 3 people know, but in very strict confidence. Other people have started noticing the weight slowly coming off and if they ask, I say that I've been on a high-Protein low-carb diet since June and that it's finally paying off. Everyone is satisfied with that answer - including me, since I don't want to out-n-out lie to them but in the end it's not their business. And hey, it's true- I have been basically doing Atkins since June!

So far, it's going very well - I'm finishing my 8th week post op this weekend and no one's the wiser unless I've made the choice to tell them. Good luck to you!

You would really be surprised how we judge people and what they would say. I work with a lot of young young super active people. I am 57 and they are so excited for what I have done and what is to come. You need a good, strong support system and my thought is the more people that know makes me accountable to them also. You will be really surprised with how quick the weight comes off. Mine was the 29th of October and today it was 22 lbs. Good luck to you.

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your great answers!

HI everyone, I am a newbie here and am only 3 days out of surgery. I have only told a couple people (husband, very close friends) about the surgery and don't really want to share with other people such as co-workers, less close friends, etc. This is partly because I consider it private, but also partly because I just don't want to deal with the judgement (some of my co-workers in particular are super athletic and very judgemental about people being overweight.) I am not sure how quickly I should expect weight to come off and if I will be asked questions about it, but I was wondering what strategies others have used in responding to questions/comments about weightloss?

Well not sure if Isagenix (the pyramid scheme cleanse shake craze) is big by you but that's what I'm telling people at work. You have to have 2 protein shakes and a meal at dinner which I don't eat at work. I have told my mother - step-mother and 3 friends that don't speak to one another or even know the others know. Good luck!!

When someone asks me how I have lost so much weight, I look them in the eye and casually say, "I had weight loss surgery. Specifically, I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy." Then I wait to see the pained look on their face as they try to think of something to say. It's really pretty funny.

Also I think the more people who learn about VSG surgery, the faster we can remove the stigma around WLS. And, as I want to be a poster child for successful VSG surgery, it's important to me that I tell everyone. Maybe it will help someone who is thinking about WLS if they see more success stories.

Come on people!! Who's with me?

I have no problem talking about my surgery but understand why others do. I know people judge me by my weight, HW was almost 500, why do I care if they judge me about how I am trying to lose it? I dont...

What I do care about is my health. If you are supportive of my decision, thanks!! If you have negative comments, oh well.

I told very few people...my husband, my in laws and a friend who has had surgery. I didn't even tell my children, who are all teenagers (long story...just didn't want to put them in the middle of it) We all have very different reasons for our approach to this topic. At 3 months post-op and 65 pounds lost pre and post op, people are starting to notice. Most just say that they notice I have lost weight and are complimentary. I reply that losing weight is hard work, but I realized it was necessary. If they do ask how (and very few have), I just say I am eating better and exercising. A few even join me for walks now!!!

For the first time in my life I am doing something for ME and I don't want others to question or second guess me. I am loving this journey!

When someone asks me how I have lost so much weight, I look them in the eye and casually say, "I had weight loss surgery. Specifically, I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy." Then I wait to see the pained look on their face as they try to think of something to say. It's really pretty funny. Also I think the more people who learn about VSG surgery, the faster we can remove the stigma around WLS. And, as I want to be a poster child for successful VSG surgery, it's important to me that I tell everyone. Maybe it will help someone who is thinking about WLS if they see more success stories. Come on people!! Who's with me?

I'm with you Cindy. I never would have had the courage to do this if not for a coworker who was so open and honest about his RNY. His honesty saved my life. Now I hope to return the favor. And if doing so will also help reduce the stigma of WLS, all the better. And make no mistake, there is a judgmental stigma out there.

After all. How many people feel the need to keep knee surgery "private?" It's sad that there are so many judgmental people in the world who are so misinformed about WLS. I hope in time the public awareness will increase so that future WLS patients will not be judged and can feel confident in telling everyone in their lives about the surgery.

Till then each of us should do what we need to do to be successful.

I've been pondering this question from another angle. I live (in the smallest house, LOL) in a really nice neighborhood where the ladies are mostly known for being skinny (even underweight), fashionable and pretty. I have hear the sentence (name changed), "Mary and John would love to have another baby but Mary won't be able to do it unless she breaks down, stops working out obsessively and occasionally has a sandwich." They reference the "white wine and their kid's ritalin" diet. I joke that I can't hang with them because I don't own a tennis skirt.

So extreme caloric limitation, obsessive working out, drinking to excess (not hard when you're not eating) are celebrated.

It's kind of the opposite social pressure than many deal with. I'm not sure that I'd get mocked or made fun of for revealing WLS, or even that I care. But in our community of a few hundred families that I know and socialize with, I can only count about 5-7 women who are overweight in any way. As I move out into my social circle away from the neighborhood there's a huge variety in weight. But socioeconomically speaking the more money most of my friends have, the less likely they are to be obese.

I don't know what this has to do with telling vs not telling…but I know for me, I am more likely to reveal the details to people who it might benefit. And most of them aren't physically the closest to me.