Not getting support. I don't understand why......

[elizabet33 12]

My best friend had lapband and is just not being supportive about my surgery she is actually being kind of mean. It is hurtful and upsetting. I thought this was a journey we could share.

[slowtogo 301]

I did. You have to do this for yourself. We are here for you.

[MinnesotaDreaming23 17]

Is this for your health. Yes, then do you Boo. Loving yourself from the grave is not cool. Do what you know is right. That is taking care of you.

[TurnThePage 220]

You must be very disappointed that they are not meeting your expectations for support. Sometimes though, you have to be specific with guys as to the specific type of support you need. Do you need them not to eat snack food in front of you or not bring it into the house? Do you need a hug? Not to say certain things because they are hurtful? Be specific, but do it in a way that enlists their aid for your cause.

Like me, lots of people do this on their own, so I know you can too. Your husband is right, the surgery is no magic bullet or guarantee of success. You are going to have to work at this every day for the rest of your life. But the best way to show him that you CAN do it is to just hunker down and DO IT. It may take a month or perhaps two until your weight loss is evident, but you'll soon have your proof!

As for your son, I wonder whether he is concerned that something might happen to cause his family to fall apart when you slim down, get healthy and be happy. From the net or perhaps from thoughtless comments from others, he may have heard stories of marriages that break up, wives that throw in the towel and run off or other such things. Maybe he watched a friend's family fall apart. Plus, I'm sure at 16 he has heard plenty of MILF jokes among the guys. Perhaps it would help to sit down with him at a quiet time and explain that you are doing this to get healthy so you can be there for your family, live longer, be more active and all have more fun together--and it would really be great to have him cheer you on as you have always cheered for him.

Wishing you all the best!

[elizabet33 12]

Thank you all. I know I am doing the right thing. I am sure it's out of love and concern. I am just emotional now with so much going on so fast. I can't wait for my date

[roundfuzzy 33]

Thank you all. I know I am doing the right thing. I am sure it's out of love and concern. I am just emotional now with so much going on so fast. I can't wait for my date

Just know we are here to help. Sometimes just knowing that others have experienced some of these things help.

[elizabet33 12]

It does thank you

[teacherlady2133 258]

I am just in the beginning of my process and understand the lack or misunderstood support. I think mostly it is fear if the unknown. I find myself being very private about each step and that goes against how I normally am so people around me are reacting. They think they are helping but really they are adding to the issue...some of my family knows and now are trying to protect me from the realities of the issues that my weight brings...from where we sit at the table during meals, to questioning can I eat the food at a restaurant after we are already sitting down... What I find interesting is they are now aware of things I feel everyday! Trying to protect me from the issues I have lived with for the last 20 years... Everyday until the surgery and even after I will have to live with these realities.

True support is trusting I know what I am doing and it is the best thing for my health and not creating more issues than I already have to face. Be willing to leave me walk out this even at times alone, because they don't understand and have never faced what and why I am making these choices.

[lisalisalisa 54]

Sometimes people are jealous of other's choices or threatened by them. I had lost my weight on my own a few years back and had two weight loss buddies on line. When I got a Tummy Tuck they stopped talking to me. They were angry because they couldn't get one. Really? You have to do what is right for you and leave the haters behind.

[elizabet33 12]

I am sorry your friends reacted that way. I just can't understand that thinking. If someone I care about has something good happen for them even if it's something I want I would still be happy for them. So sad that people are so self absorbed now.