Ok, so I see on here all these people that totally change their eating habits, which is great! But I see people on here who come on asking about pizza or sliders or anything else and people get mad.

When I decided on this surgery, I choose it for a few reasons. No dumping was one, not as much of a chance for malnutrition. and the main one was because I wanted to live a NORMAL life. I didn't want my life to revolve around food, I didn't want to have to worry about what I ate because I could only eat a little bit of it. My dr thinks that is pretty normal for a girl my age.

I have a family and I follow the rules. I will eat Protein first, but if I choose to have a snack and it doesn't happen to have all protein then I don't see whats wrong with that.

I am glad to see there are some people who feel the same as me but when I come on here all I see is don't eat this, don't do that, eat this first, don't ever touch this...

I am 5 weeks out and I am hungry, I have had 3 pretzels with my cheese and I have had a roast beef sandwich, but no bread. I had potato skins but not the skin, I eat full fat sour cream, and butter and I haven't had a problem yet.

Anyone out there like me, who has decided that they had this surgery to help with portions and not just never have certain things again... Would just like people who believe how I do to talk to..

EDIT: I'm deleting my comments as I've just seen that you only wanted to connect with people who feel like you do. Good luck with it all. Susan.

I know how you feel; I have had a bad habit at times correcting my wife about her food choices. My wife is no silent woman she tells me to shut my trap and mind my own sleeve, lol. Your right we didn’t have the surgery to be someone we are not . We had the surgery to enhance and respect our relationship with food. I admit the fact that I cannot eat much does not make me want more food. It would be impossible for me to sit and try to pig out like I used to. Now when I have a bad day I can no longer turn to food for help, and now I can no longer drink my heart out in diet sodas either. The improvements we have made with portion control and the ability to properly understand how we need to take care of ourselves are improved. We should not judge anyone for the choices they make, only offer opinions or facts when asked to do so. Never talk down on anyone. Moderation and respect is key to anything.

Your right we are new. No need to get mad and say rude things. Like I said I think its great that people change their habits.

Cindy I will assume you are talking to me since you agreed with my statement about being new..

But I must say I am not mad. also I feel nothing about my post was rude.

I truly wish you girls luck and can't wait to see how you progress.

Sydney Susan.. I wasn't asking for advice. I read a lot on this forum I take everything with a grain of salt.. I was personally looking for people who think like me.

I think we all want that.. To find someone who understands us and knows what we are talking about.

Laura-ven.. I didn't think you were rude sorry I don't know how to quote people.. I was saying yes we are new.

There are a few farther out that believe the same as me. And had the surgery for the same reason. I don't plan on eating nothing but high calorie food all the time. Just not deny myself...

I also like the idea of feeling like I'm not on a "diet", and can occasionally eat comfort foods. I can have a few bites of potato salad or a hot dog, for example, things I would never have allowed myself when I was on a diet before. And I don't feel deprived, or fearful, knowing my sleeve will help keep me in check. But I also know I am an "addict" and one bite of sweets, crackers or chips, will make me want more and more. I have decided that for me, those things are like booze to an alcoholic. So I choose to never eat candy, cookies, cake, chips, pastries, etc. again. I don't trust myself. Everyone is different in how they handle foods, especially "trigger foods", and which ones they can control and which they can't. For me I'm happy with healthy foods most of the time, an occasional few bites of a higher calorie treat, and living without those things that used to make me binge. If you can lose weight with portion control, and are eating healthy most of the time, more power to you! Good luck.

The sad thing is I am craving salads. Lol. And turkey meat... I make everything with ground turkey usually no beef. I just want some turkey meat beans and sour cream and cheese lol... I never had real trigger foods.. I could eat just a handful of this or a handful of that.. I just ate way to much food in general.. But I know if I don't allow myself something I want then there is he possibility of binging on something...

Thanks for this post. I agree, that this journey is unique to each of us and although I think people on this forum try to support each other, there does appear to be those who are extremely judgmental and forget that their journey is unique to them and that even when offering "advice", that they need to check what is motivating that "advice". I don't feel like my sleeve is to restrict me from eating those "bad" foods. I feel like it is a tool and nothing more. I like that I can only eat a bit at a time, and I realize that protein, then veggies, then carbs are my life. I can only get in my protein in most meals and then have to eat a bite of veggies/carbs later after the protein. I guess it just seems to me that this all or nothing approach to the sleeve is as extreme and somewhat obsessive for some. Perhaps the obsession they had with food is now applied to their sleeve. I think for many of us, our relationship with food is about control over our body. Now with the sleeve, for some of us, this need to control our body is now manifested in this other way. From one extreme to another for some of us. I look forward to revisiting this subject as I become more tenured in this journey. I think Laura may be on to something when she mentions that we are new. Laura V. Did you find your mindset shift around your do's and don't during your journey and relationship with food post op? Just curious and I appreciate your insight(and humor ).

Part of the reason I chose to have the sleeve surgery was because of my obsession with food and the volume of food that I would eat. Food was constantly on my mind: What am I going to eat? When can I eat again? What can I eat that will make me feel better? Then feeling guilty for eating "bad" foods and so I would eat some more to feel better. And the cycle continued. Dieting for me is not a good thing as it just reinforces my food obsession and labelling foods as "bad". I want a healthy relationship with food and the sleeve (along with counseling) is helping me get there. I don't tell myself that I can't have a certain food, but I do limit how much/how often I have it. If I told myself that I can NEVER have a cookie again, I will obsess about Cookies until a binge on them. That is how I operate. If I tell myself that I can have a cookie if I really want one then I know that it's always an option and only if I eat them in moderation. It's all in the mindset for me.

This doesn't work for everyone, I know. And I am only 3 months post-op - I know that this is a life long journey. What works for me now may not work for me down the road. I am open to exploring new ways of doing things if this isn't working for me later. But I don't think that this mindset is unhealthy. My therapist certainly thinks it's healthy (and much healthier than my old mindset). The key is to make sure that I am consistently choosing healthy foods over less nutritious options.

Thanks for this post. I agree' date=' that this journey is unique to each of us and although I think people on this forum try to support each other, there does appear to be those who are extremely judgmental and forget that their journey is unique to them and that even when offering "advice", that they need to check what is motivating that "advice". I don't feel like my sleeve is to restrict me from eating those "bad" foods. I feel like it is a tool and nothing more. I like that I can only eat a bit at a time, and I realize that Protein, then veggies, then carbs are my life. I can only get in my protein in most meals and then have to eat a bite of veggies/carbs later after the protein. I guess it just seems to me that this all or nothing approach to the sleeve is as extreme and somewhat obsessive for some. Perhaps the obsession they had with food is now applied to their sleeve. I think for many of us, our relationship with food is about control over our body. Now with the sleeve, for some of us, this need to control our body is now manifested in this other way. From one extreme to another for some of us. I look forward to revisiting this subject as I become more tenured in this journey. I think Laura may be on to something when she mentions that we are new. Laura V. Did you find your mindset shift around your do's and don't during your journey and relationship with food post op? Just curious and I appreciate your insight(and humor ).[/quote']

Yes my mindset has changed, shifted and still is ever evolving..

As far as do's and don'ts I do really TRY and stay away from junk type food because I can eat unlimited amounts.

In the beginning, say the first 4 months I would of never tried things like potato skins (hehe I never ate them before either) out of fear? And following my doctors plan (same with lettuce) as you get further out not only are you able to tolerate more but the amounts change. You will be able to eat a lot more! It won't always be 1/4 cup at a time..

I had some moments of sadness at one point when I realized I will always be on some form of "diet" for the rest of my life. But really you need to rethink the word "diet"

di·et1

ˈdī-it/

noun

1. the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.

2. a special course of food to which one restricts oneself, either to lose weight or for medical reasons.

"I'm going on a diet"

We think of diet as # 2

But really it's more like # 1 and what kinds of foods I need to keep my body healthy and at this point at least continue to lose weight.

I spoke to my surgeon this week about all of this.

I've spent a lot of time reading about our special circumstances. And I mean special in the sense of not only being bariatric patients. But also being formally obese people!

We will never be "normal". In the sense I cannot eat the same way as a woman who is 150 and that has never been obese. The fact of the matter is we will always have to be mindful of our diet.

Our metabolisms are different, we harbor millions of more fat cells (they NEVER go away just shrink and wait) than a naturally thin person. We are sneaky beings also what starts out as a little becomes more and more over time. DUH we are fat and will do anything for food that how we got here!

I could go on but I'm probably boring those on this thread to death already.

P.S. Cindy I don't do fat free on everything either!

If I'm going to have cheese it's going to be real

cheese. And my yogurt is 2% because I feel we need a little fat and its much more satisfying, plus it stays with me longer

I agree with you both. Maybe once I can eat whatever I want I will change my mind but i too have the obsession that if I can never eat a certain thing then that's all I think about until I eat the whole bag/box of whatever it is. Now I will allow myself one of something.

But like many people I may change this over time depending on results but I never want to feel guilty again for eating a bite of cake or having 1 cookie. As of now that's in my head...

I just really think everyone makes such different choices using their "tool" you can't put us all in one box and say you can only ever do this because everyone is different. You can tell that by our different programs and what it takes for each person to lose...

I am a newbie struggling with just getting Protein in right now, but I hope a year after surgery the occasional slice of pizza would be okay......maybe once or twice a year.....which is what we did before surgery.

I don't have kids and my husband nearly eats like a bariatric patient anyway, except for ice cream, so it makes it easier.

I think if something is working for ya and works with the guidelines given, then go for it.

Yes my mindset has changed, shifted and still is ever evolving..

As far as do's and don'ts I do really TRY and stay away from junk type food because I can eat unlimited amounts.

In the beginning, say the first 4 months I would of never tried things like potato skins (hehe I never ate them before either) out of fear? And following my doctors plan (same with lettuce) as you get further out not only are you able to tolerate more but the amounts change. You will be able to eat a lot more! It won't always be 1/4 cup at a time..

I had some moments of sadness at one point when I realized I will always be on some form of "diet" for the rest of my life. But really you need to rethink the word "diet"

di·et1

ˈdī-it/

noun

1. the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.

2. a special course of food to which one restricts oneself, either to lose weight or for medical reasons.

"I'm going on a diet"

We think of diet as # 2

But really it's more like # 1 and what kinds of foods I need to keep my body healthy and at this point at least continue to lose weight.

I spoke to my surgeon this week about all of this.

I've spent a lot of time reading about our special circumstances. And I mean special in the sense of not only being bariatric patients. But also being formally obese people!

We will never be "normal". In the sense I cannot eat the same way as a woman who is 150 and that has never been obese. The fact of the matter is we will always have to be mindful of our diet.

Our metabolisms are different, we harbor millions of more fat cells (they NEVER go away just shrink and wait) than a naturally thin person. We are sneaky beings also what starts out as a little becomes more and more over time. DUH we are fat and will do anything for food that how we got here!

I could go on but I'm probably boring those on this thread to death already.

P.S. Cindy I don't do fat free on everything either!

If I'm going to have cheese it's going to be real

cheese. And my yogurt is 2% because I feel we need a little fat and its much more satisfying, plus it stays with me longer

Well you never disappoint Ms. L! I appreciate your candor and honesty. Yeah we are experts and minimizing the impact of "just one little bite...". I am not afraid of food(today), as I am only 10 weeks post op tomorrow and still on sorta mushy foods due to complications. It will be interesting for me once I am no longer restricted by nausea and vomiting. When I can eat anything I want. But I do eat without the "oh I can't have carbs", or carbs are evil mind set. I have an occasional 1-2 tablespoons of rice with a meal if I want it...which is a far cry from the non measured amount before. And for me, that is how my sleeve as a tool works for me...not depriving, but rather helping me to control the amount of what I eat. It will be interesting to see how that evolves as I move to maintenance. At that point, I may have a very new mindset. We shall see.

Well you never disappoint Ms. L! I appreciate your candor and honesty. Yeah we are experts and minimizing the impact of "just one little bite...". I am not afraid of food(today)' date=' as I am only 10 weeks post op tomorrow and still on sorta mushy foods due to complications. It will be interesting for me once I am no longer restricted by nausea and vomiting. When I can eat anything I want. But I do eat without the "oh I can't have carbs", or carbs are evil mind set. I have an occasional 1-2 tablespoons of rice with a meal if I want it...which is a far cry from the non measured amount before. And for me, that is how my sleeve as a tool works for me...not depriving, but rather helping me to control the amount of what I eat. It will be interesting to see how that evolves as I move to maintenance. At that point, I may have a very new mindset. We shall see.[/quote']

You know you just made me think of another aspect we all deal with differently. The "aftermath" for lack of a better word, of surgery.

How our body reacts to this surgery is the luck of the draw! You, as I remember had a rocky start and your intake is limited even at 10 weeks. Whereas some come out of surgery with "sleeves of steel" (me) and can handle everything. Our sleeves are all different. I had a girl several months ago here gasp in shock that at 7 months out I can eat a whole banana, she was almost 2 years out I think? There is also the fact that some of the vets throw up if they eat to much, and some of us don't.

I would imagine if you have the throw up thing happening it would keep a person in check pretty well also. That's why I always kid around that I got jipped because I didn't get the automatic emergency shut off valve

Ok Cindy back to you original topic! Sorry about the hijack

There are many journeys that had us arrive at the pre-op weight that we were. For me, I was a stick in grade school, high school and college. I was soooo active, I remember eating a Big Mac and two hambeurgers (in one sitting) on a regular basis. Back then, I could not gain weight at all.

However, as I am sure this resonates with some...I started slowing down, drinking alcohol...but in some respects I never changed my eating habits (well, except for loathing fast food).

Pre-op, did I eat the wrong things?? I am sure I did, however, my biggest weakness was portion control. I was never a big sweets guy...only would partake on occasion.

Now that I am sleeved, I am forced to change some of my habits.

I was sleeved almost 6 weeks ago...and I can relate to what Laura-Ven stated, about mind set. I have evolved in just the past two weeks.

It is commonly held, that it takes approx six weeks to make a habit change permanent. There are things that I have chosen not to re-introduce, as I see them as a threat to my overall goal...slider foods are one of them. Do I believe that everyone needs to follow that?? Absolutely not! I do believe that we should all become as knowlegable as we can, then try to objectively weigh the risks and choose what you want to do.

Cindy, I am happy it is working for you! And I wish you success in the future, and I think everyone on this forum is or should be rooting for all to succeed!