Let me say first off - I am happy with my decision to have surgery, I am happy with my progress to date, and I believe I have realistic expectations of the rest of my journey.

But man, am I struggling today.

I was sleeved 5/16/13. I weighed 239 the week before surgery, 230 the day of, and as of this morning I am 200 with 2 days to go before my 11th week. That's an average loss of 2.7 lbs a week if you only count my post-op weight loss. That is more than I've EVER lost on ANY diet. I feel pretty good about this. Even if I averaged less than that, I would still be happy with my results because I am making steady progress, I'm becoming healthier every day, and I can do things I haven't done in years.

Here's why I'm struggling - my 3 month follow up is next week. My surgeon expects me to be at 178lbs at 3 months out. He does not count pre-op weight loss, and expects me to lose about 4 lbs per week - almost double what I actually lose.

Could I lose faster? Maybe. I do struggle to get in all my Water and Protein - I'm only 11 weeks out, I'm still learning how to do this! But every day is a new day, and I TRY every day. Some days I even get it right. I exercise every day, ranging from workouts with my trainer, to walking/jogging on the treadmill, to just squeezing in a walk around the block on busy days. But I MOVE every day. This is my new life goal. I'm serious about meeting it.

But it's hard not to feel discouraged when I know I'm going to go to that appointment next week and he's going to tell me I'm failing. I'm not eating right, or exercising enough, or trying hard enough. I should have lost more by now, 90% of his patients lose 80% of their weight in the first year, after that the success rates decline dramatically, and on and on and on. I'm going to feel like sh*t when I leave his office. I'm going to feel like I did after every WW meeting, or Jenny Craig appointment, or medically supervised diet Dr visit I've had in the past. Like a failure. Like this is one more thing I f*cked up.

And now I'm stuck. Do I completely stop seeing my surgeon? My PCP would be happy to see me on a regular basis, and she would most likely be happy with my progress - but she's not a WLS specialist. Maybe he's right - maybe I AM failing at this. Maybe feeling ok with my slow progress based on the experiences of people on the Internet whom I've never met is poor judgment. Or maybe relying solely on the guidance of a doctor who has a vested interest in me losing a LOT of weight REALLY fast so I bolster his statistics is naive.

I'm torn; I can't decide what to do. I would appreciate some alternate points of view. I've got a week to mull this over and hearing points I haven't thought of or from people on both sides of the fence would be helpful.

Please don't you dare feel like a falure!!! 2.7 pounds a week is great and by your own admission more than you have lost in the past. Every person travels this jouney at a pace that is right for thier body. I would not let the doctor be discouraging and if he is any kind of doctor at all he will also see and be glad for your progress. Please, please do not let the demons of the weight which ruled your life prior do this surgery do so again.

You have and will continue to see yourself in a positive light and become the person outside that you have always been on the inside. I am 1 year and 7 months out and although I did not get down to what the charts say I should be it is fine with me and my surgeon. Every person is so individual and I have maintained a healthy weight for over a year now. This is just your old voices in your head talking. Do not let these voices or anyone elses hold you back. All my best Babs

I was sleeved 5/16/13. I weighed 239 the week before surgery' date=' 230 the day of, and as of this morning I am 200 with 2 days to go before my 11th week. That's an average loss of 2.7 lbs a week if you only count my post-op weight loss. That is more than I've EVER lost on ANY diet. I feel pretty good about this. Even if I averaged less than that, I would still be happy with my results because I am making steady progress, I'm becoming healthier every day, and I can do things I haven't done in years..[/quote']

Read your 3rd paragraph again. That's all that really matters. Overeaters Anonymous has a saying, "Progress not perfection."

Your surgeon is not going to want to drive you away. Losing you as a patient would be the REAL failure for him. Generally people who drop out of their surgeon's post op program struggle with continued weight loss and maintenance. I can't imagine that any surgeon is going to be a jerk and berate you for not meeting HIS goal. And, frankly if he is that much of a jerk, you are justified in telling him off.

Another quote, "no one can make you feel bad without your permission." If you know you are on the right path, then believe in yourself. If you are not on the right path, then you know how to get on the right path.

Keep moving forward. It's going to be amazing!

Tell the surgen to piss off everyone has a diffrent speed for weight loss. Be happy and enjoy your new life and progress as you can.

I wonder where your surgeon gets 4 pounds per week from? My surgeon said 1-2 pounds per week is what should be expected.

I average 3.5 a week and was told that was way above the expected.

Like hatheryomw my surgeon said 1-2 a week.

I'm slowing down as I get closer to 6 months so my average may adjust.

I am only 3.5 months out, so I'm not a vet yet, but i wanted to tell you what my surgeon said at my 3 month follow up. He said he considers the surgery a success if I lose about 7-9 pounds a month. You started off at a much lower weight than I was and are doing great! Keep doing what you are doing! And remember that while you are working out, you are building lean muscle that allows you to continue your progress. Good luck!!!

My surgeon expected me to lose 60 pounds in the first year, but he didn't tell me that until after I did it.

I don't think you should be disappointed. You are losing, and you can't be wrong if you are losing and continuing to lose.

A good surgeon with a good weight loss and maintenance program would never berate you for this or make you fell like a failure in anyway. Is it possible you are wrong about how he will act? Is it possible you are projecting your feelings about your self on him? I say go to your appt and tell him what your doing and how you feel. Let him know how upset you were at the idea of not making that goal. See if they can give you some ideas to change your routine up a bit. Then if his response is to berate you....you stand up dust yourself off tell him to PISS OFF and find a new dr. But if you like your surgeon and his program has been a good fit so far I doubt that will be the case. You are doing great!!!! And maybe his projected numbers are a little off.

And this would by why I love this forum! Thanks to all who have replied so far, I really appreciate the different points of view and advice!

It sounds like you are worried about something that hasn't even happened yet. You're speculating. If he wants you to lose faster...if you want to lose faster...then tell him to advise you on how to make those changes to accomodate that. He knows not everyone loses at the same magic rate. There are too many factors that contribute to slow weight loss, and not all of them are caused by you. Hormones are a big one!

But regardless of that, I think you definitely need to appreciate what you've done so far. Do not stress over what MIGHT happen. Go in there like the adult and don't let him berate you. Let him help you. That's what he's there for. And don't quit going to him. He has the knowledge and experience to help you. And you have the strength and power to not let him bring you down.

Good luck.

I like bigsleeve's idea....hee hee hee. Love it when some uppity surgeon gets his cage rattled by a patient.

Seriously, your surgeon should absolutely piss off. Sorry, that's my first and most honest take on this.

Nothing I have ever read, anywhere, specifies a "proper" or "correct" pace for weight loss. Is your surgeon in a hurry for some great before/after pictures to post on his website? Really? Because that's absolutely some of the most ridiculous support I've seen so far - to state a numerical goal along with a specific date as the best measure of your progress.

I have only seen very large men maintain a loss rate like that, by the way.

Support is important. Staying active in some group, especially an in-person one, will help you in maintenance. But if your surgeon makes you feel defeated, he's the opposite of support, isn't he? Perhaps he's simply used to bypass patients and measures all of his patients by those numbers. If that's the case, he's less of a jerk, how's that?

My advice is to go the appointment and listen to what he has to say. And if he ventures into overly critical territory based upon your loss rate, without weighing in the rest of your changes and success, I'd very bluntly tell him how that makes you feel and how defeating it is to have him treat you that way. You can only control how you choose to feel and how you handle things. You cannot control other people. If once he's aware that his attitude is defeatist he maintains his stance or insists you lose at a faster rate, at that point I'd consider whether or not you want to shift your care to your PCP.

Best of luck. BtB is right - at this point, you're working yourself up over speculation. I certainly didn't lose at a rate of four pounds a week and I know the vast majority of folks here didn't maintain a rate like that beyond the second month.

~Cheri

I have two ladies in my office who both had bypass. Started out about same stats and had surgery about same time . One lost most of her weight by 2 years at least 150 pounds. The other one lost 40 pounds and eats like a horse. Both of them were very interested in my lapband and now my sleeve. Haven't been back to work yet but I'm already 28 pounds lighter. Surgeon says people get used to the packed esophagus feeling, especially lapband patients, and keep eating and eating.

Weight loss is weight loss be it slow or fast. So long as the number keeps going down and stays down what more could your doc ask for?

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate you taking the time to comment & share a Vet's point of view. It helps to hear from those who have walked the path already & have a little experience under their belts. After reading all your advice, I've decided to go to the appointment & see what he has to say. Maybe I AM anticipating a worse experience than it will be (but my gut says no on that one). Even so, armed with some of this advice it should be easier to get through it and make a decision if I'll go back. Also, it doesn't hurt my confidence that the scale continues to go down and as of this morning I'll be under 200 when I go to the appointment Wed. Pretty relieved about that!

I've talked to several bariatric patients and many say their surgeon DID or DID NOT even give them a goal weight. My surgeon belongs to a practice that bears the stamp of "Bariatric Surgery Center for Excellence" and along with having that stamp and those ratings, you can bet that he keeps close tabs on numbers when it comes to his patients.

That being said, there is a fine line between encouraging and demanding. Your surgeon (hopefully) didn't just fall off the turnip truck and (again hopefully) realizes that everyone is extremely individual. I'm guessing that he was giving you something to "shoot" for and if you don't get there, then I agree with BTB, maybe he can figure out how to bump your loss higher.

My surgeon gave me a goal. It was to have a "normal" BMI. At 9 months post-op he checked his notes and looked at charts and looked me up and down and said "nope that isn't going to work for you, let's raise that number higher." What a relief. Much later he said at a motivational speech (audience comprised of post-bariatric patients at ALL levels of post-op and all types of surgery) "I don't give a da*n what you weigh today. DID you carry forth the promise of living a better life and are you living your life the way you imagined you could when weight was a factor holding you back?" Gotta love a surgeon who says that (when you know he is also all about the numbers!)

So I would not go to this appointment with a defeatist attitude. Do the best you can for you, and do not let anyone tell you that you have failed at anything.