So I figured out why I am getting wls today. I decided to take my nephew to McDonalds for a treat today. I order a steak biscuit meal. It is what I am really wanting. But then I think about the last time I had one and the steak was grissly and the egg wasnt cooked. So then I think well I really want it but if its gross I wont have anything to eat. So I order a bacon and cheese biscuit (cuz I really hate their muffins) as a just in case measure. Then I eat the steak biscuit and it is perfect. No grissle, no yuck at all. NOW my kind reels. I spent that extra money on that sandwich. It wont be good later and it will be a waste. I was raised to never waste food and this is the worst thing I go through in regards to my weight. I HAVE to eat it. I think of those starving children in Africa that my mom always warned me about but never sent my food to (trust me, I told her she could) and I HAVE to eat it. It doesnt taste good now because I am not really hungry and I am only eating out of guilt, but i eat it nonetheless.

I am getting weight loss surgery to combat the crazy going on in my head. I KNOW i cant eat two sandwiches. I will probably only order a piece of sausage and a smoothie. And it will be heaven to enjoy my food without guilt for once!

One if the biggest hurdles in regards to having this surgery and be successful?

Is being really honest with yourself.....

I'm from the generation of not wasting food also. I try to take exactly what I will eat. After you have surgery next month ordering 2 sandwiches will be so out of the realm. You will only eat the steak and egg off of the sandwich and probably not be able to finish it. This is how the sleeve keeps us from overeating. It is a very good thing and it. Really helps with portion size.

I know. That is what I am excited about. My new stomach won't be ABLE to do it. This will override my brain. I wont even bother ordering two sandwiches because at THAT point I will know it is a futile waste. When I am so concerned about the quality I never consider the sandwich will be just fine. It is always "what if it isn't?". So after my surgery I will be conscious of hurting my sleeve not conscious of my taste buds...

Devils advocate.... Do you think ordering the second sandwich was about concern over the quality of the first sandwich? Or could it be that a part of you wanted to eat both of them??

Don't forget that the sleeve will only fix the portion control, not the brain. This is a great time to start changing the way you think about things. This sounds somewhat like a food funeral. The rational you used was irrational to start with. Next time remind yourself that if you didn't like the steak sandwich, you could take it back and get another sandwich and not be stick with the mentality that i can't waste food, what about all the starving kids in Africa? I had to change this thinking too that it's ok to through away food when I'm full. Eating when I'm not hungry is what got me fat to begin with. It's a hard process with conflicting thoughts going on all the time.

It is HORRIBLE being from the 'starving children in Africa' generation. I have had to retrain my mind, and some times I still have fleeting thoughts of those starving kids....I started changing my thinking and doing this when my youngest was in HS, back in the late 90's. I would tell her she did NOT have to finish, I KNEW this was a bad habit.....I told her that whether the excess food takes the scenic route, via her mouth, or goes straight into the disposal, it will end up in the same place. I had a hard time practicing what I was trying to teach my daughter, it was another fifteen years of ME letting the food take the scenic route before I did something about it permanently!!! Now I CAN and DO throw food away. Guilt free....MOST of the time!!!

Don't forget that the sleeve will only fix the portion control' date=' not the brain. This is a great time to start changing the way you think about things. This sounds somewhat like a food funeral. The rational you used was irrational to start with. Next time remind yourself that if you didn't like the steak sandwich, you could take it back and get another sandwich and not be stick with the mentality that i can't waste food, what about all the starving kids in Africa? I had to change this thinking too that it's ok to through away food when I'm full. Eating when I'm not hungry is what got me fat to begin with. It's a hard process with conflicting thoughts going on all the time. [/quote']

How come it sounds so much nicer coming from you??

Most days I am able to break this cycle. I have been struggling with "wasting Syndrome" for years. Most meals I purposely leave food on my plate and purposely make myself be the one who clears so I personally throw it away. However, some days it gets the best of me....especially at McDonalds. Indecision or rationalizing always gets me here. That is why I go soinfrequently (like I said in my post "as a treat"). This only happens maybe once a few months but as it happened today I posted for support.

As a gentle reminder to those of us suffering from the fat disease that are through and now mentorng: Did YOU like it when people just assumed you were fat because you WANTED to eat? We all want to eat...have to eat. However there are other mitigating factors. This is an emotional and mental journey. I didn't post for judgement.

Luckily, or unfortunately depending on the view.. There are plenty of homeless people around my town who appreciate my doggy bags. Whether for themselves or their pets, I have no clue.

But you're right.. The cycle has to change in the mind before any "tool" can help us.

Most days I am able to break this cycle. I have been struggling with "wasting Syndrome" for years. Most meals I purposely leave food on my plate and purposely make myself be the one who clears so I personally throw it away. However, some days it gets the best of me....especially at McDonalds. Indecision or rationalizing always gets me here. That is why I go soinfrequently (like I said in my post "as a treat"). This only happens maybe once a few months but as it happened today I posted for support.

As a gentle reminder to those of us suffering from the fat disease that are through and now mentorng: Did YOU like it when people just assumed you were fat because you WANTED to eat? We all want to eat...have to eat. However there are other mitigating factors. This is an emotional and mental journey. I didn't post for judgement.

I agree, there are mitigating factors for some. For me, I wanted and enjoyed eating....the good stuff, not a big junk food, Twinkie/Ding Dong kind of girl, although I do like sweets. I was fat because I have the self control of a five year old, or I use to. I'm better now, but I am a work in progress!!!

Most days I am able to break this cycle. I have been struggling with "wasting Syndrome" for years. Most meals I purposely leave food on my plate and purposely make myself be the one who clears so I personally throw it away. However' date=' some days it gets the best of me....especially at McDonalds. Indecision or rationalizing always gets me here. That is why I go soinfrequently (like I said in my post "as a treat"). This only happens maybe once a few months but as it happened today I posted for support.

As a gentle reminder to those of us suffering from the fat disease that are through and now mentorng: Did YOU like it when people just assumed you were fat because you WANTED to eat? We all want to eat...have to eat. However there are other mitigating factors. This is an emotional and mental journey. I didn't post for judgement.[/quote']

I'm sorry if you think it's a judgment because its not....

I was (am) fat because I wanted to eat and I ate!

What I told myself on a daily basis differed from "not wasting" to its a "special occasion" to "I'm sad" and so on..

Being brutally honest sometimes is hard but lying to yourself will keep you going in circles.

I know because I'm here and I can say the sleeve is not a miracle. The work you do in your head is the most important part of this "journey"

The sleeve will not make any of us make better choices we have to do that all by ourselves.

Edit;

You know what? I'm sure you will do fine.

Good luck on your journey.

I believe a journey has good days and bad. This is just a bad day. I enjoy good food, but I also had drilled into me to avoid wasting. I think that there is a lot of people living the mind-struggle I do everyday. My post will inspire someone to know you can't and shouldn't expect perfection from yourself or anyone. We all have our own demons to face. A year from now i will be posting post-op success pics and everyone will see that my tool did help me overcome my mind!