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Always being a 'big guy'

Hey Guys -

Just thinking about life post-op, how I'm going to look, etc. I've always been known as a 'big guy' for as long as I can remember. Anyone else worry about not being a big guy post surgery? I know that sounds weird, because, well, that is the point of the decision to have surgery, but along with the many downsides to being a overweight there are some advantages to being a big guy. Just wondering if I'm the only one that thought of this or if anybody else thought that too?

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I've had these same thoughts. My kids have a pet name for me. "Big Hairy Beast". They call me BHB for short. I even have a t-shirt. Wondering how they will refer to me after surgery. It becomes part of your identity.

Yep! I've heard the term...."Sasquatch" a few times. :P

I used to be called, "Scary Gary". Admittedly the large shadow cast created it's own intimidation. But in my mind I knew that in a fight situation I had better hit hard and precisely for one or two strikes.or my stamina would be gone and I would be helpless. I was an unhealthy skinny guy in a big overcoat of fat. All the fat did was drag me down. Anyone that fights a lot knows this when sizing you up.

Now I have shed the parka and can see what is underneath. I was going for Arnold in the old days. Now I am happy going after Bruce Lee. I am rock hard and strong due to continued workouts and hard work at the job and don't care about the phony intimidation factor of the past. In a clutch situation I know I have much more to bring to the match now.

Hey guys. Well I always been a big guy most of my life. I weighed as much as 420 back in 1988 and lost well over 100 pounds on nutrition system. When I was sleeved back on June 19th I was at 294 pre diet weight. I am 6 feet tall and now 251. People can't get over how much I lost on only 5 weeks. But as my journey continues I do want to get to around 210 or 205 but not less. I don't want to get under 200. I carry my weight throughout my body so my stomach is not too big. People think I weight less than 251 because of that. So I see the point. If I got into the 190's I might look too thin.

I have never viewed being a big guy as a positive thing. it has been in my way all my life, even when i was relatively fit and could run marathons it was so much harder because i was carrying so much more weight. now it is a bane to my knees. my issue is i cannot for the life of me imagine myself as any other way. I have already lost half my excess weight and feel better but the concept of being medium sized does not register and actually i dont believe it can happen. we shall see how my mind gets around these changes.

alex

Weird cause I still think of myself as a big guy. But at 6'2" and 220 my wife says I'm not. I still suck in to fit into small spaces, only to find I have plenty of room. I'm just as strong as I was and much fitter, but here's something I never would have considered before.....you don't realize how much us big guys learn to use our size to our advantage till its gone. We use our mass, and it's momentum to our advantage all the time. You probably don't even realize it. When you weigh over 300 pounds (in my case 400) you learn to "lean into" things to move them. At 220 I can't do that. It's pure physics, but I've spent a lifetime developing the muscle memory to live this way. Now I'm having to improve technique in so many activities because I can't just put my ass into it.

I completely understand how you feel. I don't want to be a skinny guy. I would like to be a muscular "stocky" guy. I'm 6'2 and I think 225 will suit me just fine.

  • 6 months later...

Going through the exact same thoughts. I'm 5'11" and #253. I've lifted weights on and off since a teenager. I'm relatively out of shape and can still bench my weight and squat #350+. I can't run though. I ate to put on muscle most of my early life.

I was able to get down to #180 about 12 years ago (lasted maybe 6mo.s). Kept it under #215 until 5 years ago. I was able to fight to get under #220 for an insurance physical but quickly ballooned up past #240. Lost my younger brother 3 years ago and stuck my head in the sand.

I sit most of the day at work. It is getting harder and harder to drop the weight. I can work out for an hour and it will be negated by the volume of food consumed later in the evening. I've heard myself say I don't want to be skinny just last week.

I've decided I want to be a skinny athlete. I'll leave the big guy in the past. If I wind up being a skinny non-athlete...it might buy me some time to come to my senses.

Just from one woman's perspective. I've always been more attracted to the runner or swimmer body type than the weight lifter type.

Just from one woman's perspective. I've always been more attracted to the runner or swimmer body type than the weight lifter type.

Loveit, I appreciate that. My wife married the big guy - hope she can adjust her tastes. Thanks, lol, now I'll have to have a conversation with her.

Just from one woman's perspective. I've always been more attracted to the runner or swimmer body type than the weight lifter type.

Loveit, I appreciate that. My wife married the big guy - hope she can adjust her tastes. Thanks, lol, now I'll have to have a conversation with her.

I think some women like big men because it makes them feel smaller.

Some might. My sweet is a size 3 at 5'. We had the talk...She said she will love me anyway :D


Loveit, I appreciate that. My wife married the big guy - hope she can adjust her tastes. Thanks, lol, now I'll have to have a conversation with her.
I think some women like big men because it makes them feel smaller.

I too was always everyone's big guy. Want to go out for a big steak dinner, call me me up. Football party with mounds of wings and nachos, I'm your dude. People we're always shocked when I told them how much I weighed because I "carried it well".

Not to play psychologist, but I think the "big guy" persona is kind of a defense mechanism. Since you're stuck being fat, you might as well embrace it. At least that was the case for me. But when you think about it, everyone else goes home from the big dinner and then gets on with their life as a normal weight person while the big guy is stuck going through life with a tone (pun intended) of health and life challenges. Honestly, the persona just isn't worth it.

I still go out with my same friends and just pick at all the food being consumed. No fun is lost whatsoever. In terms of being the big imposing figure -- come on -- how much real ass kicking are you doing anyway? And lastly, it's not like you're going to be some little feather post surgery. The stats say you'll lose between 60 and 80 percent of your excess weight, i.e. you're still going to be a normal or even big dude -- just not a big fat dude.

  • 1 month later...

Wanted to say hello to everyone... This is my 1st offificl post but iven lurking for awhile getting tips and advice and just wanted to say i appreciate it all. Anyway.... being 6'6 435lb i am always the big man... i never was THIS big though. I played college football at between 265-285 and would like to get backto that e again. Ppl tend to think im 100lb lighter than i am and i usually just shrug. but i totally understand the 'big guy' issue... i was always big... from the time i was 10 til 15 my age and shoe size were the same... when i was 12 i was 6' 185 and easily dunking a basketball... i hope i dont lose a ton of muscle but i know it is inevedable. time will tell. i should be having my sleeve surgery in late may early june and at this point im ready to just get it the hell over with!

Wanted to say hello to everyone... This is my 1st offificl post but iven lurking for awhile getting tips and advice and just wanted to say i appreciate it all. Anyway.... being 6'6 435lb i am always the big man... i never was THIS big though. I played college football at between 265-285 and would like to get backto that e again. Ppl tend to think im 100lb lighter than i am and i usually just shrug. but i totally understand the 'big guy' issue... i was always big... from the time i was 10 til 15 my age and shoe size were the same... when i was 12 i was 6' 185 and easily dunking a basketball... i hope i dont lose a ton of muscle but i know it is inevedable. time will tell. i should be having my sleeve surgery in late may early june and at this point im ready to just get it the hell over with!

I hear ya "Quietstorm" and wishing you the best with the surgery!

Oh yeah.....and welcome to the site and message board!

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