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Serious question seeks serious answer!

I am very curious as to why BBWs don't like to date larger men? One time in my search for an answer I came across a woman who told me that 2 big people don't seem right. Whatever the hell that means. So now that I am on this site I thought I'd ask. I really am wanting to get a serious answer. This just isn't a couple of women I've met or just something that has happened to me but I've noticed a trend of this everywhere. Hell a lot of dating sites have lots of bbws wanting tall slender men or something of the sort. I've always loved larger women yet I've never dated one. Makes no sense to me. Thanks in advance.

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  • Ms.AntiBand
    Ms.AntiBand

    Maybe .. And I mean MAYBE, it could be that the majority of BBW are sincerely not happy being BBW and being with a BBM is just a reminder of what they dont like about themselves. It's like looking in

  • SerendipityHappens
    SerendipityHappens

    Personal preference sweetie.. I like thin/athletic men.. My current BF is 160 pounds.. My ex husband was BUILT.. AND he was a marathon runner! What you LIKE has nothing to do with what you LOOK LIKE!

  • JerseyGirl68
    JerseyGirl68

    I tend to agree that it is a personal preference. I've had weight issues my entire life and have dated all different shapes and sizes, I tend to gravitate to a bigger guy. Taller etc. not just wei

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For what it's worth, I think each person has different qualities that they look for. While I agree that for some men their infatutation with BBW is strictly physical (and kind of creepy, imho), I know other men who have told me that they've been attracted to bigger women because they feel as though they're getting someone real, who isn't afraid to be themselves, be funny, etc. Granted, I think they were probably also attracted to the confidence some of those women projected (I agree with the person who said that confidence is a big part of it).

In the end, everyone needs to find a way to be happy with themselves and whomever they choose. Keep on doing what you're doing and don't lose that confidence, and you'll find your way to someone who's a good fit for you :)

Even though I've had surgery - I still consider myself a big woman & I am attracted big men. In fact, skinny/slender men aren't my preference. But don't get me wrong whether slender/big, short/tall - physical appearance isn't a ruling out factor for me. I'd rather take an interest in someone who accepts me for me & treats me well regardless physical qualities. So I'm not sure how to answer your question.. Just figured I'd go against the grain here lol

  • 3 weeks later...

I've always dated guys who where not so thin or even large. But that's my preference I wouldn't feel confident with a skinny guy because I'm big as hell. Lol. I also do have low confidence in talking to guys so.. But I don't think all woman are like that or bwws. In all sincerity I want someone who will love me for who I am and have the same amount of love to give as I do.

After my divorce, I was approached by one guy that was pretty big. We hit off for a while. He was good looking and had a great personality, but it was his confidence..the one that made him come up to me in the first place....that started it off. Yes, I am traditional. I do not like to initiate. (For all you horndogs, I am not talking sex right now. LOL!) I think its best for the man to start the conversation if he is looking for more than just idle chit chat. But that is me. MY preference. My weight made me less confident and feel less desirable (not to mention the emotional abuse my ex husband put me through). It wasn't until a healthy body kind of guy showed me how desirable I was to convince me that no matter what, I was beautiful too. I didn't seek him out, he came after me. ;) Perhaps heavier men need that kind of attention too, and we ladies are failing in that aspect? food for thought.

I like all types, as long as they take care of themselves and dont look like they just crawled out of bed. Blech. :P

Anyway, don't forget that many men and women are still subconsciously brainwashed by social standards. In developed countries, we are told to like the healthy/skinny types. In lesser developed countries, the larger the woman the more desirable she is because she can birth babies and she's rich enough to be well fed. This mentality isn't as prevalent as it once was, but it still lingers. As an archaeologist and world traveler, I have seen this first hand. Just more food for thought. 0 calories!

I'm a BBW (well, big, idk about beautiful) that is insanely attracted to tall fat guys. Like John Goodman status. I'm 5'10" and I've always been very fat in an area where most people are both shorter than me and skinnier by a good chunk. I've never really felt feminine and always kind of feel like a freak. Being around a guy that is both taller and heavier than me makes me feel like an actual woman instead of an awkward amazon, which is such a rare feeling because in my area there are very few men that match that profile.

My only boyfriend was 6'4" and weighed 160lbs when I weighed 270. I always felt like I was going to snap him like a twig and was constantly self conscious about it.

I think it depends on the individual and is a matter of personal preference. I would never want to go out with the guy who I thought I may accidentally injure during "sexy time" lol. I typically gravitate toward athletic types, And some have been larger and some have been relatively thin guys. However I will say that smaller guys approach me much more frequently than larger ones. In fact, is relatively rare for BBM to even talk to me. I would not go so far as to think that it is the result of some sort of self-loathing. Arguably, it may be the grass is greener scenario----however I still stick with personal preference.

Jennifer

As a BBW, i only dated BBM for a long time. I met my partner in a weird circumstance and was drawn to him inexplicably. He's 6'3" and weighed 190 when we met.

Sometimes I miss having a big guy. They're soft to snuggle with!

My boyfriend is a thin guy. He's about 170ish and at my heaviest. I was 303. I'm down to 279 for per op weight (pre op appointment 8/15). But before him I dated bigger guys just because I never thought I was worthy of anyone else. My boyfriend now showed me differently for liking me just the way I am. I also liked those heavier guys for who they were but I would never even try to go for someone who isn't overweight. I still tell my boyfriend sometimes that he is a 9 and I'm like a 4... Horrible I know. He's amazing though.

I'm v self conscious about my weight when big. Always gravitated towards big blokes (tall and solid) but as it turned out married a shortie with skinny thighs - my personal idea of hell, body shape wise. Love him to bits by the way. And he eats "worse" (more fat) than any big guy I ever dated. Which of course has done nothing for my waist line over the years.

I've always (even in my slimmer days) been attracted to the bigger (height and weight) guys. I'm a shorty (5' 1.5") and the tallest guy I dated was 6'8". My current SO is 5'11" & 290. Gotta love them teddy bears!

  • Popular Post

I don't understand these attempts (by women) to shame women out of talking about sex, as if it's not a vital part of any relationship. Discussing this does not make one a "horndog," merely a human. I'd like to thank those women who spoke frankly about why they might have been attracted to a particular body type in a man; for being proud of their sexuality. I believe the points they brought up were perfectly relevant to the OP's query.

  • 1 month later...

I love a big man..like 6ft'ers and 275ish..big men not fat.. It's a difference.. Like a lot men don't like BBW...

Sent from my iPad using VST

I've ALWAYS been attracted to bigger guys, and I've not always been a big girl. There is no way I could date someone too thin or shorter than I am. I'm just not attracted to them at all.

  • 1 month later...

My dad was thin...big James Vivien fan....I don't do big just personal taste...but my hubby likes big girls...he is gonna struggle with me thin.

  • 1 month later...

I've always liked bigger, taller guys....John Goodman style as someone else mentioned. Funny however, that my last significant relationship was with a guy who was only two inches taller than me, and a good 75 pounds lighter. He was a total gym rat, and even thought he was fit, he wasn't musclebound. Unfortunately he died of cancer two years after we met, and I haven't dated seriously since. But send a good large and tall man my way and I'm happy.

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