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STUCK in a RUT between thin & not fat enough

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  • Your posts come off as being borderline discrimative, and you seem to want to find a reason to distance yourself from the very people you are asking for support from. But you don't want the "fatties"

  • Ms.AntiBand
    Ms.AntiBand

    I was 190 when I came here prior to my sleeve and NO ONE.. Ever said anything of this sort to me. Fact, I've gotten so much support from everyone from all sizes. We're all in the same boat.. We eat fo

  • I need some help here ... why are you posting about your relatively 'low' BMI, then? What was your expectation? Here is the part that confuses me and I need some help on ... I am assuming 'low' BM

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You guys attacking the OP don't realize that you majorly put people on the defensive. Come on. When there is 3 or 4 o you coming at one person, what do you expect them to do? It's basic psychology. You seem to have no idea that this is what you all do allll the time. It's a bit much.

She posted something she felt. They're her feelings. No one else's. And no one has the right to jump in and try to bully her into feeling any different. Just as a lot of you told me...if you don't like what someone says, then don't read it. Just move on. Take your own advice.

Hopefully this doesn't happen, but not I'm expecting a gang war against me. We shall see.

Op when you asked last week about if this procedure was a good choice for you. I gave you my answer and I still believe it to be true...

My answer from that thread;

As far as being active you will have to take a couple of weeks off for anything hard core but will be able to resume soon enough. I would suggest you read the "fitness and exercise" sub forum you will see there are a lot of long distance runners and such...

It's really a decision that only you can make, to have weight loss surgery and at that bmi you might also want to check out the "self pay Mexico" sub forum.

As far as is it worth it?? For most of us yes! I loved Water before its a bit of a challenge now. I'm starting to tolerate it better at 4 months but I do miss "chugging" it. I liked shakes before still like them!

I have read several low bmi'ers that have "regrets" but not many..

I used to be an electrologist, I would have sad women with almost full beards come to me. And lay there hours every week and endure the pain to rid them selfs of this life hindering problem. Because they knew this was the path some sort of freedom.

Then I would have girls come to me (sometimes friends) who had just a few hairs that would be nice to have gone.. After inserting the first needle and applying the current to one hair those girls would jump up and say "oh my god that's to painful, no thank you" it wasn't for them..

This surgery to me is like that story, it is life altering, and it comes with some pain and some sacrifice.

But if you need and want it bad enough it's worth it

Laura

This is a public forum where ALL of us are allowed to express our feelings. When quesions or statements are posed, you can not then to expect people to echo or attagirl with you. if you only want to hear your own views echoed, there are personal journals for that.

Thank you for your post. I agree I am usually able to 'chew up the meat...' I apologize if the tone came across as passive agressive it certainly was not intended. My mom passed away in November and I watched her struggle with her weight (5'2 and almost 400 lbs at her heaviest and so many co-morbilities it would be hard to list them all) {and i likely need therapy to deal with this better because her focus on weight was lifelong]

I joined VST 2 years ago at my heaviest 235 and then lost 50 lbs and then gained back to where I am now. I am intimately aware of my failures and shortcomings. I am back here now and just wanted to find people who shared the same stats and situations because our considerations might be different. I want to make sure that I'm making the right decision for me just like everyone else.

Anyway - thanks again. I appreciate your honest response

Thank you for being open and vulnerable in your response. This is a great place to be on because we can get feedback from others on how we are coming across. I do offer my condolescents for the loss of your mom and I truly understand the where your coming from. I believe that this procedure of vst would be a good choice for you but know that in the process, your body will be flooded with hormonal inbalances that will magnify your feelings. I am a strong opponent of seeking a therapist that your comfortable with to assist with the many transitions you will be going through in the process.......Once again, I really appreciate your honesty here and hope to here more from you. This is a fantastic support system here and in a support system, people do challenge you which helps create a balance and reality check if individuals areopen to do the work...... :)
  • Popular Post

There is a wiseman that lurkes this site, his name is PDX man. In his immortal words "We are a dysfunctional family, but a family nontheless.

And from the immortal words of Don Cornelius "Love Peace and Soul"

This is a public forum where ALL of us are allowed to express our feelings. When quesions or statements are posed' date=' you can not then to expect people to echo or attagirl with you. if you only want to hear your own views echoed, there are personal journals for that.[/quote']

The "public forum" excuse is used when it's convenient. Yes yes I know. Too tired to argue right now.

  • Author

I need some help here ... why are you posting about your relatively 'low' BMI, then? What was your expectation?

Here is the part that confuses me and I need some help on ... I am assuming 'low' BMI denotes a BMI lower than your insurance will cover and that is what you are seeking support about? Otherwise, is someone's journey, surgery-wise, different if they are a 33 BMI or a 53 BMI??

Don't we all have similar struggles? If it isn't about the insurance, then what is the motivation to point out the starting BMI? IMO, you were trying to separate yourself out from the 'fatties' by pointing out your low BMI, most likely looking to get the comments, "Oh, you're too skinny for this drastic of a move", although, you most likely aren't conscience of that ...

Just for the record. I was not separating myself from heavier people in the forum they were separating themselves from me (or low BMI no other health challenges). No I am not covered by insurance. I'm not sure if we all struggle the same. I have a heavier sister who loves her 'curves' and I loathe being fat. Health concerns I'm not sure those are the same either. How could I even fathom what life is like for a person who is 400 lbs. Even helping my mother who was that heavy - I cant even imagine how hard it must be to use a lift to have people get you up for the day. I have compassion for it but I have no idea how that feels.

This morning I came on here...excited too...and started reading and a few posts were saying if you have a low bmi and no other health issues you shouldn't do it - its not worth the risks. It just struck a nerve that I wasn't prepared to hear. I probably should have taken a step back before I posted anything...but oh well. sticking my foot in my mouth is a gift LOL...

Yeah, there are folks who have had complications OR their expectations far exceeded their reality. Some folk do think all they have to do is get the surgery, sit back and about two weeks later, they don't understand why they aren't loosing AT LEAST 2 pounds per day and can't understand why their stomach feels uncomfortable when they eat something 2 weeks post.

I have found a lot of people with this mindset give the warnings you mention. This surgery is not for everyone, that is for sure. Each of us has to weigh the risks and decide what our tolerance is for that risk. We each have our own journeys and reasons to have the surgery. Some folks are looking to get skinny while others are looking to get off of meds and maybe lose a few pounds, but not all that much.

I am on my own journey and have my own reasons for embarking on it.

Whatever. WE all need to respect each other and not try to distinguish ourselves as being anything other than what we are ... and we are the only ones who get to do that.

Try not to let other folks try to tell you what you should or shouldn't do ... who you are or aren't. Just like a$sh0l3s ... opinions are everywhere. Some are just smellier than others.

  • Popular Post

How could I even fathom what life is like for a person who is 400 lbs. Even helping my mother who was that heavy - I cant even imagine how hard it must be to use a lift to have people get you up for the day. I have compassion for it but I have no idea how that feels.

I agree, I can't fathom what life is like for a 400, 500, 600 ... pound person. Whilst the physical stuggle differences may be miles apart, I do feel the mental struggles are quite similar. And that is where the forum has helped me.

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