I was wondering how many people have had a partner who was supportive in the beginning become less so as time went on?

Also has your relationships changed for the better? Worse? How so?

I am Pre-sleeve and have a very loving, kind and supportive fiancé. We have been together since I was 16 (12 years now :-) ).

I'm scared that our relationship is going to change for the worse and either I'm going to go crazy and have an EARLY mid life crisis and become a slim party animal or he's going to become an insecure controlling a-hole. (As I have read on different WLS sites)

I love our relationship and I don't want things to change. I understand that it's impossible not to change as that is nature and we are changing all the time. But I'm NOT doing this to find another mate, or become a model. I want to be healthy and around for my kids for a long long time.

I guess I just want to know what the majority of you are going through relationship wise. This is a huge life change and I would even go as far as counseling together to make sure that he's with me at the end of this journey.

All your comments are MUCH appreciated!

-Sheena

I've been married almost 20 yrs. He's been with me literally thru thick and thin so not much will be different for me. He is the only man for me so no wandering eye for me.

I am two and a half weeks out and the hardest part in my relationship is that I've been really irritated and agitated because I can't eat yet. I'm that way towards everyone now but it seems to be harder at home when I get frustrated with my fiancé for no reason. I'm hoping it will get better once I can finally have some real food and not all liquids.

This is the reason I had educated my husband about the emotional part so that if I had got frustrated he could understand better and not get on the defense about it and that has help a lot

This is the reason I had educated my husband about the emotional part so that if I had got frustrated he could understand better and not get on the defense about it and that has help a lot

We talked about it too, but I wasn't expecting it to be this extreme. He's been very kind and understanding throughout my ups and downs.

We talked about it too' date=' but I wasn't expecting it to be this extreme. He's been very kind and understanding throughout my ups and downs.[/quote']

That's great I'm happy that he's understanding

I was dumped one month after surgery. It was really my fault, because I did not know how to discuss the surgery with my fiancé. I just jumped into it and it ended with a lot of resentment. At first I tried to justify my actions because my fiancé does not suffer with weight issues.. I felt he wouldn't understand. Now looking back I realize I was totally wrong. As a couple I should have been able to take his feeling into consideration. We split up and I moved out of our house for three months. Now we are finally working it out. If its meant to be you will both find a way to work it out. We are seeking therapy now through Kabbalah. After surgery I realized I needed something more spiritual in my life. Good Luck to everyone on this journey. I am six month out now and happier than ever

I was dumped one month after surgery. It was really my fault' date=' because I did not know how to discuss the surgery with my fiancé. I just jumped into it and it ended with a lot of resentment. At first I tried to justify my actions because my fiancé does not suffer with weight issues.. I felt he wouldn't understand. Now looking back I realize I was totally wrong. As a couple I should have been able to take his feeling into consideration. We split up and I moved out of our house for three months. Now we are finally working it out. If its meant to be you will both find a way to work it out. We are seeking therapy now through Kabbalah. After surgery I realized I needed something more spiritual in my life. Good Luck to everyone on this journey. I am six month out now and happier than ever [/quote']

Glad to hear you guys are back together! Do I hear wedding bells on the horizon? Good for you!

I'm glad to hear the good and the bad. My husband is 5 foot 6 and 350. I lost about 20# before surgery and even though he was supportive, he asked me why I just didn't keep doing what I was doing since I lost the weight. I explained the yo-yo for the last 25 years. He said he was going to try and lose weight and has been walking, but his eating is still awful but he won't listen to gentle suggestions.

I'll admit that in the last 2 months, I've gained tons of confidence and have kinda come to resent his lack of wanting to be healthier. I think it is all me, but I guess I've kinda become selfish because I am seeing that there is a lot more to life than I had when I was fat.

I read somewhere that good relationships only get better and bad relationships only get worse after surgery. I think I fall into the first category. My fiancé and I have had a lot go on in the last 6 months and we have made it through stronger than ever. We will talk things to death if we need to. We both were married previously to people who just flat refused to talk about any sort of problems and are determined to not let that happen to us. We talked about this surgery like crazy and I made him come to my psych eval and a few of my other pre-op appointments. I warned him well in advance I was going to be an emotional mess. We have made it through completely remodeling our house with no blow ups- so I say we are on the right track