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Lack of support

I am scheduled to be sleeved on March 11,2013 (pending insurance approval) and I am super excited. Looking forward to starting my life over and not having to deal with the aches and pains that this weight puts on knees and back and feet. However my family doesn't share in my joy! My husband is super supportive and that's the most important thing to me. He will be by my side the entire time. My mother doesn't like it and she doesn't say much either. My father is adamantly against it and after I told him the first time and got his reaction I haven't mentioned it since. My oldest sister doesn't say much, my brother supports me no matter what and my youngest sister is adamantly against it and I don't understand her of all people. She's 27, 5'3" and over 400lbs. I consider myself lucky to have insurance cover this for me that saves me a great deal! I have looked at all the benefits and all the risks and I think this is my best out. I take 3 blood pressure meds a day. I have GERD and just diagnosed with mild sleep apnea not to mention all the aches and pains I have. I have ALWAYS been overweight and I am a beautiful person. I just want to feel that way on the outside too. I want a long healthy life with my husband and two young children. I'm nervous about surgery but more worried about a shortened life span. Good luck to everyone out there getting sleeved and I wish you the best of luck! I just needed to vent to my sleeve family. #GettingsleevedinLouisiana.

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  • Laura… thanks I hope everyone looks at it differently after my success.

  • Richard Foor
    Richard Foor

    I believe usually when loved ones don't support people having the surgery it is ultimately because they are scared you are putting yourself through a risk they don't feel is necessary. But as you alr

  • My mother did not agree with me having the surgery but it has been 8 weeks and she is coming around. My dad did not know anything about the sleeve surgery but he researched it and actually took me on

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Sorry you are going through this. Have your parents said why they are so against you having this surgery?

Perhaps your father is just worried and doesn't know how to articulate it...same for your sister?

But you have the support from you husband and you know what's best for you.

Try not to take it to personally I'm sure that after they see you becoming healthier and happier they will change! And who knows you may be an inspiration for your sister down the road :)

  • Author

Gemini… my mother actually had gastric bypass back in 1980 it was actually experimental for her and didn't work but she said it was a lot different back then they didn't even require them to change their diets and she only lost about 15 pounds. I don't think she is necessarily against it but doesn't show support either. My father feels like it can be done with diet and exercise alone. He says just give up breads, rice and pasta and I would be fine!

  • Author

Laura… thanks I hope everyone looks at it differently after my success.

Laura… thanks I hope everyone looks at it differently after my success.

I have hope that they will :) not everyone in my family was on board either ( my in laws) But now they see it was the right move for me and my family!

I believe usually when loved ones don't support people having the surgery it is ultimately because they are scared you are putting yourself through a risk they don't feel is necessary. But as you already seem to understand this surgery is something people need to do for themselves regardless of others opinions. So Good Luck.

Gemini… my mother actually had gastric bypass back in 1980 it was actually experimental for her and didn't work but she said it was a lot different back then they didn't even require them to change their diets and she only lost about 15 pounds. I don't think she is necessarily against it but doesn't show support either. My father feels like it can be done with diet and exercise alone. He says just give up breads, rice and pasta and I would be fine!

Uppr, I'm sorry your mom's surgery didn't go well I'm sure it must be hard for her. Sometimes even family dont know our struggles. I'm glad you have the support of your sister and hubby. :)

My mother did not agree with me having the surgery but it has been 8 weeks and she is coming around. My dad did not know anything about the sleeve surgery but he researched it and actually took me on my surgery day and was there for me. Your family will come around with a little time especially when they see what a blessing it will be for you and your health. Good luck and keep us posted.

I think family opinions are based on family dynamics. With my family, I know it would be envy. Something I could do to improve myself that could make me appear better than them. Or criticism that I'm weaker than them because I couldn't do it on my own as they can. So I've learned early on with my family, not to mentioned anything until it's well after the fact. I'm just glad my immediate family (hubby and kids) are supportive. Their opinions are the ones that matter the most to me!

Hopefully, your family will come around and support you. If not, to the heck with them...you've got the support of your hubby!

  • Author

JustSleeveIt,

I have thought about it from an envy standpoint as well. I will be the smallest person in my family everyone is overweight, I wonder if I will begin to feel like the odd person out. Oh well, my health comes first and I am so glad to have my husband.

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