I posted that I ate half a Big Mac and still eat a crispy creme donut if I crave one. Several people gave their opinions.and how I didnt care about my health.....but several more sent me private messages, 11 different people to be exact, that wanted some advice because they had kids and the grazing and snacking was getting the best of them, but were scared to ask for it on this forum because of the tongue lashing some people give when your veer from the HEALTHY path. Everyone is not the same, our needs, wants and lifestyles are different. There are people reading the forum who are intimidated by your perfection....give us who arent as perfect a break.

Lighten up, its just a donut. Lighten up, its just a spoon of fried crap. Lighten up (7 months after sleeve) ooooo its just a carton of ben and jerrys. My cheater foods now are honey sprinkled on my greek yogurt. Whole wheat pita bread with sauce and low fat mozarella. Skinny latte from starbucks. I am purposely staying away from shitty stuff bc i know myself

I think i contradicted what i said earlier, but the title bothered me. Im an addictions counseling major. Most of my clients started out with lighten up

Oooooooo....forget it. Just give up because you're going to fail.

Perhaps the thing to take away from this is that you can abstain from things that you formerly enjoyed if you believe that these things are destructive to your happiness and your goals. I've been in a bad relationship or 2 in my life. When I finally broke free of those relationships I never went back for any post break up sex because there were better options ahead of me. I know some people do go back for post break up sex, but I doubt anyone thought that if they abstained from sex with a former partner they would fail at sex forever.

I need this tattooed on the back of my hand so I don't forget it. well said, well said.

Eat a donut, you're going to fail!

Don't eat a donut, you're going to fail!

Blah blah blah...

If I don't eat a donut and I fail does the world stop?

If I eat a donut and I fail does the world stop?

People just do the best for you!

Just do you and try to get healthy!!

I hope none of us fail.

Donut eaters and non donut eaters just freaking unite already and don't FAIL

OP, I understand where you are coming from. You have no idea the number of people who have reached out to me about exactly what you are saying. I honestly use the same term myself sometime, if we are going to be honest. I am hearing from many people because sometimes they just come to our site, a "support" forum, just to vent, to see if others are experiencing what they are, etc., not to be made to feel like they are a failure because they took a bite of a doughnut.

As I mentioned in another thread, I stepped away for a couple of hours tonight because my fiance and I went out for our weekly Saturday night bacon cheeseburger at Chili's, and guess what, it was happy hour and I had two White Russians as well. By definition of some, I should seek immediate counseling because I ate 1/4 of a bacon cheeseburger and drank alcohol on a Saturday while out enjoying life with my man and friends. But, oh well, I am still losing weight and I am happy and enjoying the hell out of my life, so I just brush it off. They do what is right for them, I do what is right for me and my best advice is that you do what is right for you. I got this surgery to live and be happy. 95% of the time, I make healthy choices, but I am human and go out with friends and enjoy a couple of drinks, a cheeseburger or pizza when I do. I have no guilt. I don't need counseling. The difference is now, I am happy with that 1/4 cheeseburger. I don't need to shove the whole thing down my mouth. I know this isn't the last time I will ever be able to enjoy one, so I am quite capable of eating in moderation. If some aren't able to do that, well, then perhaps it is better for them to stay away from those foods. But for those of us who are able to do that, and continue to be healthy and lose weight, well, you know...

Now, with all that being said, the "horror story" thread and the "cheeseburger" thread have already gotten way out of hand. I have had more reported posts on those threads than I care to mention. If this one goes the same way, and everyone can't learn to communicate as adults, disagree without name calling and being abusive to one another, and have intelligent, respectful debates, then I won't hesitate to close all three topics.

I had a professor who laid out a kids meal hamburger and french fries on the counter in the classroom. The meal was there for 18 months. No mold had formed and it looked only a few hours old. I don't eat fast food but that definitely freaked me out and no way would I feed that to my kids or myself! I believe for our overall health, eating real food is important. Why go through a surgery to prevent or heal us and then go on to eat food that isn't healthy? I say healthy meaning not chemically altered or filled with fillers.

It's hard to stay away because of cravings or addiction, but it gets easier. I think the crap thats in fast food is addicting. Have you ever really craved something, ate it, and it wasn't tasty? Then a few weeks later you crave it again?! Why is that? It must be the chemicals. I'm no doctor or nutritionist ....just brainstorming here.

Maybe instead of justifying eating a big mac, work on eventually never eating one again! For your health and for your kids health. From experience, the longer I stay away from an unhealthy food, the more I don't care to eat it! Cutting out carbs completely may cause one to fail because our body needs carbs. It doesn't need big macs and it won't tell you to eat one. That is psychological.

OP I so agree! and that's probably one of the main reasons why I don't visit VST as often as I used to. The all or nothing approach has never worked for me in the past and it wont work for me now but I don't feel like dealing with the judgement so I keep my thoughts and daily diet to myself. On most diet forums there always seems to be the type who preach all or nothing and then several people chime in about how perfect they are yada yada and it seems to be the same on this site also. I don't get involved in the drama on any site because it's pointless. I've also been private messaged about certain things that people don't want to get flamed about. I also find myself smh when people imply that you will die if you eat a piece of cake a month after surgery. Some places start you back on regular food while in the hospital. I tend not to vent my frustration because it's pointless.

Butterthebean, I will repeat the bottom line for me.

I challenge anyone who disagrees with this to present empirical evidence to the contrary that has been published in a referred professional journal. You won't find any.

Ad hominem attacks and increased strength of personal conviction do not qualify as empirical evidence.

Would you encourage an alcoholic to take a drink every once in a while?

In fact, recent longitudinal research from the prestigious National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (2010) clearly demonstrates that many who had been previously diagnosed with alcohol dependency (alcoholism) in their 30s and 40s are able to safely drink in moderation once they are older.

There is no empirical evidence in the research literature to support the premise that overeating is a physiological addiction. It’s a psychological problem.

Consequently, as a rule—that is, on the average—abstinence is far less effective in maintaining weight loss than moderation. Insulting me doesn't change the validity of what I've written or serve as scientific evidence in favor of abstinence.

Taking a few post-surgical bites of a Krispy Kreme doughnut or a McDonald's Sausage Mcmuffin with cheese is most definitely not unhealthy behavior... assuming these foods are eaten in moderation. The fact that several post-surgical patients on these forums fear the inability to have those few bites without later gorging themselves uncontrollably does not mean that all VSG patients should abstain from such foods.

Notes

Bufe, C. (1998). Alcoholics Anonymous: Cult or Cure?, (2nd edition). Tuscon, AZ:Sharp Press.

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (2010, February). Alcoholism isn’t what it used to be. NIAAA Spectrum, 2. Retrieved from http://www.spectrum....alcoholism.aspx

I think there has to be some sort of middle ground and that's where the work comes in while we're losing the weight. On the one hand, I see a lot of 'i didn't have surgery to go on a diet so I'm gonna eat pizza and potato chips and ice cream but it's okay because I can only eat 4oz of it at a time!!!" Drives me crazy.

On the other hand there are the super literal, super dedicated regimented health conscious who are going organic this and hormone free that. Drives. ME. CRAZY.

Maybe I don't want to 'never eat a big mac ever again' (even though I think Big Macs are horrific, I'm a double cheeseburger gal myself ) Don't most of us get this surgery to be NORMAL? What's normal about feeling guilty about eating?

The work I have set out for myself is giving myself the nutrients I need from the food I can eat. Eventually I want to get to a place where I can eat anything and stop when I've had enough. Before surgery, I wasn't there. I don't know what makes me think I can be there after surgery, just because I can only eat 4oz of whatever. The ISSUE-- for ME-- is that I feel like I need to have it.

Sorry i have had alcoholic patients and drug addicts stay away from the substances they abused totally. Me, personally, will not touch ice cream. I used to eat gallons of it in a sitting. Thats my vice. But, i just had a glass of moscato. Yes it has calories, but it was not something i abused before. So its safe that i will stop at one glass, not the whole bottle. This sleeve experience is unique to the person.

I had a professor who laid out a kids meal hamburger and french fries on the counter in the classroom. The meal was there for 18 months. No mold had formed and it looked only a few hours old. I don't eat fast food but that definitely freaked me out and no way would I feed that to my kids or myself! I believe for our overall health' date=' eating real food is important. Why go through a surgery to prevent or heal us and then go on to eat food that isn't healthy? I say healthy meaning not chemically altered or filled with fillers.

It's hard to stay away because of cravings or addiction, but it gets easier. I think the crap thats in fast food is addicting. Have you ever really craved something, ate it, and it wasn't tasty? Then a few weeks later you crave it again?! Why is that? It must be the chemicals. I'm no doctor or nutritionist ....just brainstorming here.

Maybe instead of justifying eating a big mac, work on eventually never eating one again! For your health and for your kids health. From experience, the longer I stay away from an unhealthy food, the more I don't care to eat it! Cutting out carbs completely may cause one to fail because our body needs carbs. It doesn't need big macs and it won't tell you to eat one. That is psychological.[/quote']

Sometimes I can enjoy a hamburger or treat out, other times I know it's not a safe option. It's part of reading my body and mind to know where I am at. Not afraid to order something and deconstruct it and eat what I want, stopping when full

Staying away from all the carbs i ate before surgery has made me feel 100% better. More energy and fuel. But carbs are in many things even yogurt. We need them for fuel too.

Tracking my food on my fitness pal has kept me honest and I can make choices and say: is this food worth it to me today?

Sometimes, I still fear failure but if I stay on track with my weight and current health status I plan to never have to lose 140 lbs again. May be 5 - 10!

BTW, I think the secret fast food ingredient is crack!

In terms of your typical fast food places, like McDonald's, I cannot eat there anymore. It tastes like pure grease to me, and I usually end up racing to the bathroom as a joyful side effect from it. Yes, I know, way too much information, Susan, sorry.

Sent from my iPad using VST

In terms of your typical fast food places' date=' like McDonald's, I cannot eat there anymore. It tastes like pure grease to me, and I usually end up racing to the bathroom as a joyful side effect from it. Yes, I know, way too much information, Susan, sorry.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

I am shocked at how salty things are...my tongue must of been numb!

Since being sleeved I can actually taste the grease...it is awful

I am shocked at how salty things are...my tongue must of been numb!

Oh my, I hear you on that. I used to live for MD fries, I am not sure if they served salt with their fries or fries with their salt!

Sent from my iPad using VST