Hi All,

I'm really struggling with this & would love some input. I decided to take 2.5 weeks off for my surgery, after announcing my 2 week "vacation" rumors started swirling that I was having Gastric Bypass. Funny thing is -- I'm NOT having Gastric Bypass - ha! ha! and I have told no one about the surgery. I don't feel like it is anyone's business & frankly don't want to deal with all the opinions.

Now that I've been off work I've lost 25lbs & the weight I'm sure will start falling off. I still feel like they can talk all they want, but need to mind their own business.

Thoughts?

Well I'm a doctor so people I'm sure gossip about me all the time anyways. I told my partner about the surgery of course, and all the girls in my office know, and a few of the techs who assist me in surgery know, but I really have not made a point of telling everyone else that I am likely to come in contact with on a daily basis. I come in contact with tons of people every day of course.

So, I'm not sure how Im going to handle it when people start asking. On some level, I feel embarrassed that I am a physician and I had to get this done to lose weight, but I truly had a problem, and I decided to get something done about it, because I was not having any luck losing weight by myself. So I have tried to keep level-headed about it, and tell myself, "Look, you have a medical problem, you tried all the conventional stuff without decent results, and if you kept on going at that weight, you were going to wind up with a bunch of medical problems."

So, I went and got some help. And you know what? I'm glad I did. It's what I needed.

But back to how to handle this when people start getting nosy. I don't want to lie, so I guess I'm going to tell the truth.

Maybe I can use it as an opportunity to tell patients about what I did to address my weight problem.

Because I am an orthopedic surgeon, I see lots of overweight people in my practice because their condition has caused them to have bad knee and hip arthritis, and now they need, or soon will need, a knee or hip replacement.

I guess I'm deciding that Im just going to tell people if they ask.

If they get judgmental, they can go jump in a lake, I guess.

All I know is, I had a problem, I needed help solving it, so I finally got the help I needed. What's wrong with that?

If that makes me weak in someone's eyes, I hope they never have a problem they need help with.

No matter how great, how strong, how virtuous, how thin, how smart, or how wonderful a person thinks he or she is, that person always has a big problem or two,

whether you are aware of it or not.

Being a doctor has actually made me more humble, because I can tell you, we all wind up in the same place in the end!

So while we are blessed to all be here, let's all help each other out, okay? Life is hard! We should help one another.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has an "Achilles Heel".

We all have weaknesses, we all have "chinks" in our armor. Especially doctors!

My best friend has always been fit and trim, and I have always been jealous, but he came down with lymphoma last year. (Thank God he is going to be fine)

So don't go wishing you were someone else.

We all have our own problems.

Tell them you went to the biggest loser ranch!!

That's awesome!! I tend to be sarcastic so I just may say this

I would personally be PISSED if someone told me that they thought I was taking time off for WLS. Then again, that is so random. If I hear someone saying, "I'm taking a 2 week vacation" I don't just think, "oh snap! She MUST be getting sleeved!!!!"

Did you me mention you were thinking about it to someone?

I am freely open about my sleeve and encourage others to get it also since its been a great experience !

I would have shouted it from a rooftop if given a chance!! I told everybody and Posted all my updates on Facebook. If someone has something bad to say about it then that's there business. It's none of my business what people think of me and frankly I don't care. I did this for me and not them!!!

Same here.

When people ask what everyone's reaction has been like I say "Supportive, but I don't really care - when I tell people they're either going to support me or say something stupid".

I've never once felt 'judged'. Some people have not commented, but they're entitled to their opinion. I'm proud of the fact that after decades of yoyo dieting I'm tackling this head on.

I feel the same as many other posters have said. It's a personal choice and depends on you, your journey, and especially how close you are to your co-workers. I did not tell anyone, not even HR. I had the vacation time to use and it's no ones business how I choose to use my time off. As far as educating ignorant people that like to judge and gossip, I personally think that's a moot point. You trend to come off as trying to defend your decision rather than educate. Again, thats to ignorant people. If someone is truly interested and needs help themselves our for someone they love then education is possible. To me, low-carb, high protein, increasing water intake, exercise...all of these are not only true but very likely with this time of year which is when most people start the same type of program. Lucky for us, this year it will work!

I had not planned on telling my classmates, but the cats outta the bag. I am a junior in a very small program at my college. There are 22 juniors in the program, we are all in the same classes, they were gonna notice. I had told 2 people in my class, my closest friend, and the girl who was sleeved last year and has been helping me with the process. Well first day of class she asked (as I was walking in the door) how my surgery went and how much I had lost. Everyone heard it and I was mortified. Then they all began asking questions, saying how good I looked, and all sorts of supportive stuff, well except for one girl, she made a catty remark but poo on her :-). Im glad that everyone knows now.

With that being said, the only person in my family that knows is my father. Everyone else would be completely unsupportive and just talk sh@t, which I do not need. I have however told ALL of my hubby's family, they are awesome.

Usually when someone says something negative its because they are jealous! As for myself, I feel like this. I am proud that I did something for myself to live longer. And to be able to live life again instead of just getting by everyday. At least we have done something about our weight and medical problems. We will no longer be the statistic of being obeist in America! Those words are the ones that should upset you, not the surgery ones. Be proud of what you have done, take it and own it. You are stronger than any negativity out there, because you had this surgery and that takes a very dedicated and hard working person to do it. Keep your head high and the beautiful smile on your face always!!!!!

It's really hard when you work in a hospital and try to keep your surgery on the downlow, because your surgeon only does surgery at the hospital you work at!!! Hippa just left the building. People texting me why u didnt tell me u had surgery? My reply how do you know? It wasnt a secret but I wasnt announcing to the whole hospital! So when I go back to work I dont know what I wanna say I cant lie because im not a liar. ..I do want to get snappy with the people who I know are so NOSEY!!! Any suggestions on what I should say? lol

Usually when someone says something negative its because they are jealous! As for myself' date=' I feel like this. I am proud that I did something for myself to live longer. And to be able to live life again instead of just getting by everyday. At least we have done something about our weight and medical problems. We will no longer be the statistic of being obeist in America! Those words are the ones that should upset you, not the surgery ones. Be proud of what you have done, take it and own it. You are stronger than any negativity out there, because you had this surgery and that takes a very dedicated and hard working person to do it. Keep your head high and the beautiful smile on your face always!!!!![/quote']

Thanks for your post"I AM PROUD I DID SOMETHING FOR ME". Thats all im gonna say!!

This story sounds pretty typical for a lot of us. I too told no one I work with. My boss asked me flat out today if I had surgery. With a straight face I said I've made lifestyle changes. I eat minimal carbs, no sugar & high protein. All which is true. I believe you share &do what you are comfortable with. Obesity is a personal struggle and no one should be judged or ridiculed for their decisions, but the hard truth is they do anyway. Good luck & stay strong & positive!

Thanks all for the great insight & dialogue!!!

Much Appreciated

i work for a well known hospice company in the area for the past 10 years . You would think of all places hospice would be the most compassionate ,as we help and deal with patients on a daily basis and the health and well being of others, right ???WRONG!!...i have accrued over 500 + hours of sick time and darn well i planned on using it to the best of my advantage.My surgeon okayed me to be off for 6 weeks and it was the best 6 week vacation ever and i do not want to go back !!!I return to work this monday the 21st.i was SOOOOO extremely excited about this surgery ..which i had on december 8....and was proud to tell everyone , co workers , patients, family........

okay i have 2 bosses, one had had a lapband 2 yrs ago and she and the other boss have only been with our company a lil over a year.the one with the lapband ,after telling her my surgery, told me it was a simple procedure and i will be back in a cpla days !!!YEAH RIGHT! i informed her that 80% of my stomach was being removed and no i would be out awhile.....she was clueless as to what a sleeve was , so i informed her .

anyhow............do u think my company was the least bit concerned for my well being ????hell no ! the other boss sent me a msg 6 days ltr at 945 pm asking how i was feeling and how much weight i have lost....i'm sure she was preparing the next days schedule and was wondering when i would be back.......other than that ....the whole 5 + weeks i have been out i have not had one person (coworker) check in on me .....

to say i am hurt is an understatement and now this coming monday i have to return to work and face everyone.the day before surgery my weight was 228 and at present i have lost about 23 pounds in the last 6 weeks.my 3x scrub tops literally hang on me ...all 123 of them...im a clothes hoarder ..lol...and went shopping for xl's!!!!. so altho the scale is not dropping i guess i am losing inches.i want all these nosey B*$@*+* to see a difference and be sincere in what they say.....but on the other hand i could care less . i would quit this company in a heartbeat but the benefits and pay are phenomonal...i love the work i do , but i do not want to go back .Obviously there is no care and compassion at my jobsite , but i'm sure every single one of them will be askin how much weight i have lost .......feelin pretty bummed....but so happy for myself for having this surgery AND i have quit smoking 6 weeks ago as well!!!!time to focus on ME now !!!!

Personally..this surgery has consumed my life..which hello we all knew that was gonna happen lol! Work is just one place I want to forget and just concentrate on my job. I have just a few basic comments that I make when asked about my surgery..when they ask about how I eat..I eat the way my doctor and nut direct me to..I don't know exactly how much I lost..I do but I don't jump on the scale everday. Once they discover that I am not that open about it..they pretty much leave me alone.

I tell everybody that will listen. I'm excited. I take the bull by the horns and I control what is said. I educate them. I've found everyone to be very supportive and excited for me. And if they don't support me I don't care. My life. My choice. Move on. Good bye.