Freaked myself out...
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So last night I got some small bowls for post op life. I had a few gut check realizations.
1) that tiny bowl will be my portion for the rest of my life.
2) this is really happening.
3) I am so freaked out about pain after surgery. I had a breast reduction when I was 17, and I woke myself up screaming in pain. I was begging for pain meds, but they didn't give me anything until I was out of recovery and in my room. Was given morphine and had a horrible reaction to it. Vomiting and dizzy and miserable. Ever since then I have been terrified of having surgery. I had to have knee surgery a few years ago and I was a mess for the few weeks leading up... I just don't want that kind of pain ever again...... So yeah, now I'm freaked out about pain.