Im so pissed off hurt, mad,feel like Punching a hole in the wall! how doe"s a person get to a point in life where you have to molest your own kidds!!!!! where doe's this Sh.t start.

I,about fell over one of my childhood friends for over 25 years was charged with molesting his kidds, and having between 600 to 1000 sites of

possession of child pronography!!!

he really had a shitty up bringing, his mother all ways hitting him pulling his hair and always drunk! Mine was shitty too and so were many of yours probley .and we are not doing it.

well I talked with Eric's mom she started crying and told me he did do it.the state of Wi is charging him with 100 counts of child Pronography.

and the FBI also is charging him he is looking at forty years in federal prison. Im not trying to make any one mad but my own thoughts are if you do such a vial act on a child they should string you to the tallest tree! and I can only say that as a Young kid my mother was always at the bar one of my mom's freind tryed to molest me as a

young boy. and I did nothing wrong caused me countless hours of stress and rage! now eric attorney wants me to talk about his early child hood. what do I do? how does a person sink so low? he new what he was doing. thats what is killing me ( HOW CAN YOU NOT NO ) THAT IS WRONG WRONG WRONG!

I, WENT UP TO THE JAIL TO SEE HIM HE COULD NOT LOOK ME IN THE FACE. I NO HE MUST BE HURTING INSIDE.

I, TOLD HIM IM NOT HERE TO JUDGE you JUST WANTED YOU TO SEE AN OLD FRIEND AND WE TALKED ABOUT PLAYING AS KIDDS AS ARE MOTHERS WERE AT THE BAR DRINKING.WE WERE JUMPING ARE BIKES PLAYING WITH MATCH BOXS CARS.and throwing snow balls and hoping the train over to the mall.

I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIS WIFE AND TWO GIRLS PLEASE PRAY FOR THERE FAMILY AND FOR THE HEALTH OF THE KIDDS.AND ERIC.

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tHIS IS JUST SO SICK!:mad:10-03-2006

Criminal

Open

Defendant Date of Birth

Address

08-06-1967

1905-1/2 Butler Avenue, Superior, WI 54880

Branch Id

DA Case Number

2

2006DG002176

Oh my god .......

J,

Its a disease I feel like. It is a horrible and unforgivable disease.

I would be torn about getting on the stand for him. If he was a good friend to you maybe you should.

I know you are shocked.

I am glad you went to see him.

Sorry this has ruined a happy memory of a friend from childhood.

edie

I would be torn on what to do too. Maybe you could write a letter to the judge, explaining your feelings and how you think what your friend did is sick and wrong and should be punished. But you know in your heart that his upbringing was crappy and that he didn't have a fair shake. I know I do a better job of explaining things on paper than in person. This may save you from having to get up on the stand. Also send a duplicate of the letter to your friend and one to his attorney as well. Best of Luck.

JQ! What a loss and betrayal for you! Someone you thought you knew better than anyone else had an entire separate, secret and shameful life . Even in your outrage and disgust you were a friend to this friend by going to see him. Give yourself a little time to get used to this complete upheaval in the lives of your friend, his wife and you. You will know exactly what to do.

In compassion,

Jo Ann

I hear people saying "He is sick and should be punished."

In another thread in this section of LBT, someone writes about the Dr. Phil house (TV show) and the people who are "sick" because of their prejudices.

It is easy to single out people who are "sick".

If I had cancer, would you want me punished?

Just about everybody (except for people who will read this and say that I deserve to die for my attitude) would say no.

If I was an alcoholic, would you want me punished?

Many would say yes, because I should be able to control myself,

BUT, many others would say, "no, it is a sickness and he needs help".

I am FAT, do you want me punished?

Many would say yes, because I should be able to control myself and do punish me in the form of discrimination,

BUT, others would say, "no, it is a sickness and he needs help".

If I was a pedophile, would you want me punished?

Most people would say yes, because I should be able to control myself,

AND, few others would say, "no, it is a sickness and he needs help".

Why?

Because of the victim?

Do we abuse alcohol or eating because we have emotional problems?

Does a pedophile abuse children because of an emotional problem?

Many if not all pedophiles were abused as children.

"Who cares?", I hear. They have to take responsibility.

But if you are reading this, you probably have a Lap-Band, but if gastric bypass surgery had not been invented, the same could be said about you (and me).

Should we give this(or any) pedophile a medal, or should we coddle him (or her)?

NO! Of course not.

Should he be separated from society?

Of course! But not in a prison where the other inmates are not sick, but in a mental health facility where he should get counseling 8 hours per day, not the one hour per week as he would get in a prison.

And these Megan's law are one of the first steps toward all of us losing our freedom. If pedophiles were handled as sick people requiring medical treatment instead of as criminals, we would not have the specter of the government punishing people even after they have finished their sentence.

If a person is still sick, they belong in treatment. When a person is no longer sick, they deserve to be free. Treat pedophiles and help them, because they are suffering the same way we suffer. While we are feeding our faces, we are in Heaven, but soon after we return to the Hell of knowing our failure. Do not doubt that many pedophiles go through that same situation. We are sick and they are sick, and it is a medical health problem in each case.

All those wishing that I would die of cancer can now respond.

Tired old man. I see you point , But Eric and my self had the same up bring my mom was a fallen down drunk my dad was mental and A DRUNK WHO would drive my mom out of the house fordays as she shacked up some where with some other man! she put my brother and my self though hell having to deal with physcal abuse from my dad also emotional abuse that he never wanted us us on and on. but when I qustioned God about this I never Got the answer I was looking for!

But i do think God only gives you what you can handle, Ibroke that cycle I have kids now I no why I went though this crap so I can be a better parent to my kids! they have parents that don,t drink are home with there kids and would give them any part of are body if they needed it why because we have all ready gave those gift's from GOD are hearts!

my mom and dad were drunks I under stant that but even people who are mentally ill most still no right from wrong.

I was fat because I WAS LAZY AND DID NOT CARE ABOUT MY SELF NOW I DO I WANT TO SEE MY KIDDS GROW UP AND WANT TO LIVE LONGER AND HAVE MY GOOD HEALTH.JOHN

AND I FORGIVE MY PARENTS.

Tired old man. I see you point , But Eric and my self had the same up bring my mom was a fallen down drunk my dad was mental and A DRUNK WHO would drive my mom out of the house fordays as she shacked up some where with some other man! she put my brother and my self though hell having to deal with physcal abuse from my dad also emotional abuse that he never wanted us us on and on. but when I qustioned God about this I never Got the answer I was looking for!

But i do think God only gives you what you can handle, Ibroke that cycle I have kids now I no why I went though this crap so I can be a better parent to my kids! they have parents that don,t drink are home with there kids and would give them any part of are body if they needed it why because we have all ready gave those gift's from GOD are hearts!

my mom and dad were drunks I under stant that but even people who are mentally ill most still no right from wrong.

I was fat because I WAS LAZY AND DID NOT CARE ABOUT MY SELF NOW I DO. I WANT TO SEE MY KIDDS GROW UP AND WANT TO LIVE LONGER AND HAVE MY GOOD HEALTH.JOHN

AND I FORGIVE MY PARENTS.

I am so sorry for you and for everyone affected by what your friend has done. I understand the idea of people being "sick" and therefore needing our help rather than punishment. But I also understand the idea that sometimes people are just evil. We don't know why, as you have stated, your upbringing was the same, why didn't you turn out the way he did?

We can't blame everything we do on how are parents brought us up. Whether we where treated badly or as the gifts from God that we should have been, we learn right from wrong, we learn good from evil and we often learn that we don't want to be like the people that raised us. I have to praise you for becoming the father you have become even though you went through what you did as a child.

I guess we all just have to take responsibility for what we choose in our lives. Unfortunately, we don't have a system that can differentiate between the "sick" individual and the evil predetors that are out there. But we do have to protect our children.

I'm sorry, but I don't think that I could go on the witness stand in defense of this. It may be that you are subpeonaed and have no choice, I wish you the best and that you will find the right thing to do.

jqPublic

Your friend was molested! It's a vicious circle! He does it because it was done to him.

I think that I would not be able to go on the stand FOR my friend in a case like this. I really don't think that a poor upbringing is much of an excuse for things like this. I think that there are kind of people who are prone to this kind of thing, and at one point or another some sort of button gets pushed.

My fiance is the youngest of 10 children. 9 of those children are prefectly normal, don't get in trouble with the law, etc, etc. One of them has been in jail many many times, for various things, including sexual crimes (he wont detail them for me, and has implied that his brother did something to him and his siblings, but wont go into it, and I don't ask). I think sometimes some people are just going to be a certain way, almost no matter what.

I think there are lots of people who do things like this who are sick and can be helped. I think there are lots of them who are sick, but don't want to be helped, don't really think they are sick, and nothing anyone says or does is going to change their mind. It's hard to tell the difference...

it would not be a problem for me. i would talk to the DA and see if he could use my similar childhood experience to demonstrate that the fella had the option of exercising free will and he chose to harm his children. You can tell the truth of his childhood, i would never advocate lying for an offender OR against one. if they want to know, tell them, but i would be just as willing to answer the questions of the DA, which you would have to do anyway.

Now, i certainly repect TOM's pov on every issue, including this one. but my words come from 12+ years of working for the sweaty-dogs-arse Texas prison system. I was on the actual facilities for over ten years. i worked in security, then as a cousel substitute, and now an investigator.

i have had the displeasure of observing masses of these violators in their day to day incarceration. there are sex offender treatment programs that require enrollment, participation, and treatment on a daily basis up to 7 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. they are given incentives to participate, and if the offender fails to participate as expected, disciplinary action is taken against him. i do not have the slightest problem locking the sex offenders away.

from my experience working behind the bars, i can tell you that there is a HUGE difference between the sex offenders and the drunks. ((i am pretty unforgiving of both, and i agree they need treatment, but i do not think that they can be healed completely, just like the band does not heal me completely)) i can't find myself comparing my illness concerning food consumption with an illness involving child molestation because my overconsumption of food does not break the law, and does not physically harm others. there is a point in every persons life where he or she must take responsibility for their own actions.

in the prison system where i work...a very large one, by the way...we are on the forefront of tracking sexual aggression among offenders. society will often automatically assume that the molesters ( and other sex offenders) are going to get what they have coming to them when they go to prison, but in reality, the statistics show that the ones who sexually assault on the outside, are the same ones who sexually assault on the inside. so, no, it is not the norm for a predator to be victimized once they are incarcerted. they keep on preying.

i have seen the treatment options on the inside, and the non-compliance of so many offenders. i can't even start to explain how many chances they are given to comply. i have always worked on male facilities, so i can only speak of my experience with the male offenders. the offenders who assault adults sexually tend to be very smooth talking, they can lie and manipulate better than the most organized of organized criminals. i have actually seen an offender carry a very structured, work related, on topic conversation with a female nurse, while he masturbated, and she never knew. i had to stop him. i am still not sure she believed me when i brought it to her attention. these are the really aggressive offenders when it comes to sexasslts behind bars(once again, my experience). the child molesters tend to group together, but are highly critical of one another. there are two groups (two main groups, lots of little cliques) of the child molesters. there are those young fellas, 19-25 who were involved in an ill advised romance with a 15-16-17 year old, and the girls daddy found out. then there are the bonafide child predators, who target the much younger children,and act against the will of the children, and act against children who cannot make their own decisions. the 19-25 yo's who victimize the older teens are actually, for the most part, pretty fuctional in the microcosm of society that exists in the prison. of course, there are a number of these who still fall into a category that would truly make you fear for 15-17 year old children, but most of these guys do not appear to have a 'problem' so to speak. in most of the cases that i have encountered, the 15-17 year old and the offender were in a relationship of sorts. ((speaking from my experience as a 15 year old, i could have easily made a 19-25 year old man confident that our relationship was ok. i have a hard time condemning those guys in a lot of cases.)) i dont know the hard stats, but based on who i saw released and who i saw return to prison, these guys did not typically repeat the violation. if they returned, it was for a different offense.

now the fellas who go after the younger kids, they typically have longer sentences, but the ones who do release, oh my gosh, it is like a revolving door. before we can blink our eyes, there is a new victim.

well, guys, believe it or not, i was approaching the part where i make my point. but now the computer keeps messing my words up, and i am afraid i will lose all of this post if i dont hit the post button. i will have to revisit this one day when i am at home, and not on the state's payroll(and cheap computer!!) lunch break is over...

John Q, I'm sorry for the grief you must certainly feel. As you said... life style and upbringing is only an excuse. My own childhood was far from idealic, but I'm a great parent, my kids tell me so and often. I think that rape is a cowardly crime that is horrifying to it's victims. Your friend may have been molested and you just never knew. Maybe not, but it's likely. However, I'm afraid I don't believe there is a true cure for child molesters. I'm of the opinion that now that he's been one, he'll likely always have the urge. That's sad.

I personally believe castration is the only fair treatment for rapists, whether they rape children or adults. It is effective because it removes the urge AND the ability, and there by would protect the rest of society as there is no chance for a repeat offense. That would save both the offender from more guilt and jail time, and protect the public. One less child molested means one less person to turn into a child molester for that reason right?

Keep in mind that is just my opinion. I've known too many victims from both levels, and the thought of an adult terrorizing and assaulting one of my children in that way would definitely make me capable of cold blooded murder. I dare say I could look a molester in the eye while I kill him/her. Then and only then could I say to my children, that person will never hurt you or anyone else ever again.

If I were silly enough to rely on our judicial system to take care of them, there'd only be a pause or delay in their reign of terror before they'd be on the prowl again...stalking the next victim. We only need to listen to the news to hear proof of that. A judge just recently let a molester go free after the jury convicted him... WTF?!

No one knows what it is like unless you walk in that individuals shoes. I was molested by a relative when I was 10 y/o. I lived with this until my early 20's when my mom read a letter on the computer I had typed to a friend. The cousin was never prosecuted or recieved any help. I have forgiven him for what he did to me, but would never trust him with any children alone. When he did the abusing I wish someone would have cut his thing off and locked him away forever. I still feel the same way. Sometimes these preverts can get mental help and get better and live productive lives with no further problems, but most of the time they dont. JMO everyone is entitled to one. Oh by the way I am not a child molester or prevert because I was abused. I am completely "normal" if there is such a thing.

Yes, molested people often become molesters, but a relative of mine recently died of AIDS because she was prostituting herself to supply her coke habit.

It was not until after her second attempt at rehab that this under 40 mother of 6 blurted out that an uncle had been raping her from the time she was 7 to the time she was 21.

I have belonged to quite a few 12 step groups over the years and they are populated to a large extent with sexually abused adults who were abused as children. Some take out their abuse by abusing others, either sexually, violently or at best verbally, and some abuse themselves with drugs or alcohol.

This idea that some people are just evil makes no sense to me, especially when people also claim to believe in personal responsibility. If God decides who is born evil and who is not, then it is God's fault for my relative to have been a prostitute and it is God's fault that some people are pedophiles. If it is personal responsibility, then though it is the fault of the offender, it may be caused by external forces beyond the control of the offender. I know of a family of many siblings who were mistreated brutally by their parents. Some responded by never disciplining their children and spoiling them. Some responded by being as brutal as their parents were to them. None of them raised children to be responsible adults because they each reacted to the trauma they bore as children. Children are not equipped to handle traumatic experiences as adults are (or at least should be).

My niece was not born evil. I used to comfort her to sleep when she was months old (while my fiancee and I baby-sat her and her brothers) and she cried and cried instead of sleeping in her crib. I would wait until she fell off to sleep before putting her in the crib. Sometimes she would wake up as I put her in the crib and I would wind up with her under my arm for the entire night as I slept on the living room couch. No, she wasn't born evil. It was her uncle who molested her and for all I know, he might have been molested as a child. Just because it was kept quiet in the past, does not mean that it wasn't prevalent in “the good old days”.

And no, it is not just my family that has this problem. Do the math. There is over a half million sex abusers in the registries. There is about an equal number still in prison. That is at least one million people. The estimate is that only 10% of sex offenses are reported. If that is true then there are 10,000,000 pedophiles out there. Another estimate is that 1 to 5% of the population has sexually abused children. That would be from 3 to 15 million.

Whatever the exact numbers, it is a problem too big to ignore or pretend doesn't exist. It is also too big to lock everyone up or to execute everyone.

I feel for you, jq. You and your childhood friend went through the same bad times as children and now he has been busted for one of the most heinous crimes possible and his lawyer wants you to stand up for him. He was, as many others have already suggested, undoubtedly molested as a child himself. It was this that damaged him. Poor guy.

Nevertheless, the prognosis for curing these guys seems to be poor and even though he may have an explanation for his behaviour he shouldn't be inflicting this kind of pain, humiliation and long term damage on kids. Although I feel sorry for him I am inclined to think that he should be kept away from society because this will prevent him from hurting any more kids.