Guess they weren't really my friends. I used to have a pretty good social life. My group consisted of quite a bit of BBW lovers and admirers. I told a few about my intentions and desire for surgery. Word spread (I knew it would). Then people stopped talking to me, inviting me out, etc.

I thought this group liked me for my personality but turns out it was for my body! Ha!

The pre-surgery portion of this is isolative enough- but wow. It's been a bit of a blow. I feel used and angry. People who tout being open and encouraging to being who you are inside have shunned me.

Alexander Graham Bell said:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

The door on some of your current friendships may indeed be closing, but the journey you are embarking on will certainly open many new opportunites to make new friends, friends who will support and encourage you.

Suggestions: Attend the support group if your surgeon has one; if not, find one in your area. Start walking now - look for others who are overweight at the track and engage them in conversation - you already have something in common!

Best of luck Dexter! It will work out

Dexter, they weren't your friends. Your experience confirms for me that I made the correct decision to not tell anyone but the closest friends. I am not telling my siblings or my elderly dad. I've told only my very closest friends who would always supoort me no matter.

Dexter, your life will change (for the better) and new people will come into your life. Keep only people who love you. That's what we all deserve. Your former friends made a poor decision when they quit on you. Too bad for them. Hold your head up and be proud that you've taken a major step toward health and happiness.

I know it's all for the best. But I really thought I 'belonged'. I told my friends partly to see their reactions. I know I will need to call on them for help after my surgery and needed to know who I could count on. Looks like its me and just my little family. So, my support system has been the same from the beginning: my hubby, my mom, m birth mother (who also has WLS) and my beautiful teenage boys. So, I've got that going for me.

As soon as monthly payday comes around, I'm going to join a nearby gym. Perhaps some will notice I'm losing rapidly (at a point in the future yet to be determined) and a conversation will strike up.

New mobility will open things up as well, I'm sure.

Thank you all for the encouraging words.

If you live in a large area, you can check out meetup.com . There are all sorts of meetups, in big cities. Book discussion, Hiking groups, etc. It's a great way to make friends who are interested in the same things .

I live in a little hick town, so the only meet ups I see here are young mothers looking for someone to play with their kids. I have friends though, that go to all sorts of meet up activities.