My 14 year old son is acting out. Long stupid story but it boils down to 'respect your parents and trust they are doing the right thing even if it seems stupid to you'.

ANYWHO!

My mother (who says she supports me) told me I needed to put off this surgery and quit my job because my son feels he's getting less attention. -blink blink-

Well! I've got news for her!

Maybe your mom, if she so called supports you, should take her grandson more often and give him some attention while you tend to the needs of getting healthy so you can be around to keep that job and give attention to your son!! Wink-wink ps... He's 14... At that age The world revolves around them and they think there is never enough attention given to them! As the saying goes " if it's not one thing its your mother"! Haha good luck my friend!

not really enough to go on to form an opinion.. or to offer any suggestions...

hope things work out for you.

Nope. He is 14, not 4 months.

We bought the boy new shoes to replace old worn out ones. He refused to wear the new ones. We threw the old ones away, he got them out. When his dad went to throw them away in a remote dumpster, the boy physically blocked my hubby from getting to the car then he ran off. Even refused to go to school until I called his coach and coach told him he had 15 minutes to get to coach's office or he'd come to the house and physically put the shoes on my son. This is 3 days worth of fun! See, I told you it was stupid.

The reasoning for new shoes- the old ones were broken down and he needs the base to support his knees & back. He's 6'2" 210 lbs. at 14. His knee bothers him after hard practices. We honestly know what we're doing here (about the shoes, not the boy). But the mother has decided this all stems from me doing all this stuff to prep for surgery, the surgery itself and times when my job keeps me busy.

Nope.

I don't disagree that teens need our attention and our interest in their lives. But what does it teach him if you "cancel" your life when he acts out? That acting out gets him what he wants. If you reward the good behavior that sends him in the right direction. Tough balance but at least he's not a girl. I had TWO of those. Good grief, the drama!!!!

I have a 14 year old grandson. Although he is a good kid...man he can act stupid and go off on the stupidest things. (6ft 4in/under 200) I also have a 32 year old son...same as the 14 year old...

Do what you think is right. You are the mother and you know your child. I wouldn't let him make the decisions in the household.

Good luck!

I hate to tell your mother this is all because of surgery, but she's probably not right -- it's most likely his teenage brain. Parts of the teenage brain don't develop as fast as his body and that parts of the brain that are responsible for emotional regulation and understanding consequences are the last to develop. You could talk to your son about your upcoming surgery and reassure him if you think he's acting out because he's scared, but I think as long as you and your husband are sticking together and being consistent with the rules and him following what you say, you guys will be fine. It's normal for kids to push limits, as long as parents are there to set and enforce boundaries, he'll be fine and you guys should only get a few gray hairs!