I'm still pre-op. they've been saying I need to be prepared for how everything changes post-op. but no one told me leading up to it would just destroy me. I've cried more now than when my dad died. Every day another branch of this surgery calls with bad news or another hoop I need to jump through. This is the most mentally taxing thing I have ever endured. I refuse to give up but I am regretting even letting myself hope for a different life and really hating myself more than ever. I feel like I am being punished for being fat and if I survive the hazing then I get rewarded with this still imaginary sleeve date.

I need good news so desperately. Please.

If you want to cut me down more, fine. Just keep it to yourself. I don't really need to be kicked more.

I feel alone with not being able to tell anyone. I can't share my feelings. This stupid journey has just isolated me more and made me hate this body I'm trapped in more than before.

I know how you feel. At one point, I was on the phone with my insurance rep being told that NO, even though my surgery was covered, and part of THEIR requirements for me to have surgery was a visit with a nutritionist, that my $250 office visit to the nutritionist was NOT a covered benefit!

I finally said to him, "you know, with all the money I'm going to be saving you in the long run, I figured you'd be taking me by the hand and saying 'come on fatty let's go', but it almost seems like you're trying to make this more difficult than it has to be"

Trust me though, it does get better, and for me, it was worth all of the 4 years I spent waiting to get it done. I was 373, now I'm 266. (5'6"). I ran/walked a 5k race last weekend in 49:30, my kids can hug me and touch hands behind my back. I can tie my shoes without feeling like I'm going to pass out, I can sit in a booth at a restaurant, and the list goes on and on!

If I had to do it all over again, I would jump through all the hoops all over again because, for me, it was worth every bit of 'hazing' they put me through. It does get better.

Hoping all the best for you.

I'm still pre-op. they've been saying I need to be prepared for how everything changes post-op. but no one told me leading up to it would just destroy me. I've cried more now than when my dad died. Every day another branch of this surgery calls with bad news or another hoop I need to jump through. This is the most mentally taxing thing I have ever endured. I refuse to give up but I am regretting even letting myself hope for a different life and really hating myself more than ever. I feel like I am being punished for being fat and if I survive the hazing then I get rewarded with this still imaginary sleeve date.

I need good news so desperately. Please.

If you want to cut me down more, fine. Just keep it to yourself. I don't really need to be kicked more.

I feel alone with not being able to tell anyone. I can't share my feelings. This stupid journey has just isolated me more and made me hate this body I'm trapped in more than before.

Calm down sweetie ( sorry I'm not being degrading)

Things get better, it does feel like you have to jump through a million hoops just to get a better lifestyle. and let me tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Things will look up for you just hang in there and like you said, don't give up or give in! Fight for your life! fight for a better longer future! You can do this! And you can tell any of us on this sight (and talk to us) because we all know what you are going through, we've all been there and are still there! we won't judge or condemn. This is a place of understatement and encouragement! So be uplifted! -Rachel

Awww hang on Tight. Yep- we do all in one way or another have experienced this. You are the only person though that can make this work. It doesn't matter how many loopholes they throw at you. When they do- you jump through and know your one step closer. If its already a covered part of your plan- your a step ahead of the game. Just jump through the hoops. Assure that you are seeing an experienced doctor who deals with insurance company crap all the time. Let them fight for you too. It will happen. Just believe ok? No more waiving the white flag here. It's time for you to take control back my dear. So what's next in your journey? What have you done so far?

Maybe take a day away from it all and focus on you, do a couple things you love, get a pedicure, see a movie. Try and get some of the stress off your back for just a bit of a break, cause it sounds like you need and deserve it. The calls and worries about insurance and stuff can wait a day while you get a chance to relax.

The insurance and all the things that have to be coordinated for it can drive you just batty - I agree! You will get through this though, one step at a time. Make a list and every time something goes right, you get to cross it off, maybe that will help, feel like a success every time you get through one of those pain in the butt requirements. In the mean time, feel free to vent, we're here to listen and we get how much all the pre-op requirements can be frustrating. I will keep my fingers crossed that everything falls into place for you soon.

I'm still pre-op. they've been saying I need to be prepared for how everything changes post-op. but no one told me leading up to it would just destroy me. I've cried more now than when my dad died. Every day another branch of this surgery calls with bad news or another hoop I need to jump through. This is the most mentally taxing thing I have ever endured. I refuse to give up but I am regretting even letting myself hope for a different life and really hating myself more than ever. I feel like I am being punished for being fat and if I survive the hazing then I get rewarded with this still imaginary sleeve date.

I need good news so desperately. Please.

If you want to cut me down more' date=' fine. Just keep it to yourself. I don't really need to be kicked more.

I feel alone with not being able to tell anyone. I can't share my feelings. This stupid journey has just isolated me more and made me hate this body I'm trapped in more than before.[/quote']

Hi still pre-op as well. I wish I was jumping thru hoops for the insurance but they will not cover at all.. I amself pay and I thought it was going to be easy.. But so far they have found thay I had h pylori, sleep apnea and now they said I have had a mild heart attack so now I need pulmonologist(done) another in lab sleep study (done) and cardiologist clearance. Have an appt for Tuesday with card. and if i get clearance I still can have surgery on the 29th as scheduled if not maybe the following wednesday ..

If I hadn't started this journey I feel that maybe I would have had a full blown heart attack, so I am going to do whatever I need to do to succeed ...

So all I can offer to you is let us fight this battle together and win the war....

..

Thank you all for your responses.

My insurance doesn't cover anything related to weight loss at all. They found I have sleep apnea after a panic attack inducing first test so now I need to go back for a second one. Then all the extras (labs, psych, sleep study) look like my ins won't cover them because they are all ordered due to obesity. It's not the insurance company I'm fighting with- its how everything is coded. My cost seems to be going up every day. Let's punish the fat girl some more! What's next?

This is all blind faith on my part while the surgeon keeps throwing obstacles in my way. if I had a tentative date I may have a little hope. But there's just a giant to-do list.

Oh, I've had a consult with the dr, labs and sleep study. Tuesday is psych, physio and nut. Pretty sure since I cried and vented to the psych receptionist when she called to say a consul with him is $350 per hour. I told her I know they expect payment in full but for me to retain some of my sanity, they need to let me write a check for Friday. Was hoping they would bill my ins and I would just do copay. She had to check so we'll see. Now since I fell apart to her of all people, I have a feeling I'll be buying the psych a summer home.

I need a break from someone affiliated with the office calling with disheartening news. Every since that stupid panic attack and no one would help me through it, I've been so down and almost ready to quit. It was reinforced after learning I need to do another one.

I'm talking in circles. Time for bed I think

Dex, cheek in with your local mental health. I used mine, the insurance accepted it and it did not cost me anything (billed my insurance because of under lying needs for the surgery which were included bpduring our discussion. Seriously, you need to catch a break and just possibly this will help? Try?

Best to you.