The last few weeks I have been struggling with guilt. I feel like I have been so selfish. I did this surgery "for me" then I spent 4 days in the hospital. (my wonderful, supportive husband took care of everything) then I spent a week helping hubby with kids (let's be honest, during recovery I was probably more in the way) and the last month and a half it feels like it's "all about me" I spend the morning with kids, go to work, make dinner, go to the gym, put kids to bed. But I feel like everyone is sacrificing so I can do this. With meals, time and activiities. And lets tell the truth. Since I became pregnant, I put everyone else first....

My question is, I have committed to this. I am not going to stop. I know I will feel better once school starts back up because I can work out when everyone is gone (youngest starts 1st grade) but how do you become okay with this? How do you ignore yourself for 12 years, then one day, turn it all around? I know there are people who have done this and done it well. Am I missing something?

Someone once told me that you need to take care of yourself and take time for yourself so that you will be better for them. I never listened and I ended up at the weight I was and miserable. You need to take care of yourself so that you have more energy and great health to keep up with your young family. Do not feel guilty about this. Can you walk or go to the gym during your lunch break (does anyone get those any more)? Could you get up early and go to the gym before work? Can the kids go to bed a half hour later to give you extended time with them? Regardless, everyone will adjust and you will be a better mom for it in the long run. Hang in there.

I don't really have any advice on HOW to start putting yourself first except - JUST DO IT. My kids are 12 & 8. They have never experienced me thin. They've seen my wedding pictures & pictures of me growing up where I was thin, but they've never actually experienced me thin since I started gaining weight with my first pregnancy. I need to put myself first because I want them to see me thin and happy. You can't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Recovery is hard and you need to pay attention to your body and its needs. Now that I've lost some weight & inches, my kids are even more encouraging for me to exercise and do more for myself. They are my biggest motivators.

I see you're from Lehi, Utah. Are you LDS? I am. I wrote a blog post last month about "Learning to Love Myself Again" - http://mygastricsleevelife.blogspot.com/2012/06/learning-to-love-myself-again.html - where I mention the importance of being able to love myself and seeing the Light of Christ in my eyes again. Taking time for myself is part of that journey. By taking time for yourself, you're not saying that you'll never pay attention to them. You're just taking time for you too in addition to spending time for them.

I am in salt lake!

I am currently doing my 6 month preop diet, and hope to be sleeved in Dec. Who did your surgery?

I have a 14 month old & am really.nervous about how much time I want to spend on him, but doing this right too.

I realized some time ago that slotting some "Heather" time at the gym or going for a run with the dog does a few things. It shows the kids that I respect myself and they should respect themselves too. That mommy is a better mommy because I have the energy and patience to be with and keep up to them. And it makes dad have a better relationship with them because he spends more one on one time with them.

I do try to involve them in some excercise stuff like going for walks, or tomorrow I'm hiking a mountain nearby. My hubby and kids are taking the tram up and hanging out ( there's a grizzly bear sanctuary and restaurant etc up there) and they'll be at the top cheering me on! I'm really excited!!!