Just Approved! And Scared As Hell ....
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So, I started the pre-screening process in August of last year. I picked a great facility with a full staff of surgeons, dieticians and psychologists, but I took my time with it because I didn't hadn't made up my mind yet about whether or not I wanted the surgery. Well, I just got my letter yesterday that I was approved by the insurance company, but the only problem is, I STILL haven’t made up my mind. When I got the letter and my fiancé read it off "approved!" I was not happy. I should have felt happiness, right? Relief? No, I just felt pressure. Now it is crunch time and I need to make a decision.
A quick background: I am 29 years old and was born into an obese family. We were raised to believe ‘if you’re fat, it’s ok and if people don’t like you for it, that’s their own fault!’ My mom fell at work about 5 years ago and broke her leg, had to have surgery to fix it, and never able to fully recover because of her weight. PT was too difficult for her, and then she began to experience more problems, like bed sores and cellulitis. She is confined to a hospital bed at her home and we are now her nurses. My bf of 10 years proposed to me on Xmas and everyone began to get really excited about the wedding, especially my mom. She overdid it in PT, and fell again a few weeks ago. She broke her leg again. Truth be told, I am not even sure she will be able to make it to my wedding next summer.
I don’t want these kinds of health problems. My fiancé and I are also ready for kids of our own and I need to lose about 100 more pounds before a healthy pregnancy is possible. So I really need to make a decision …
I have told a few people here and there that I am considering this and have gotten mixed reviews. Of course, I am not the kind of person to let others make up my mind for me, but part of me does wonder if I can do it without the surgery. I have already lost 65 pounds. The logic I have been hearing is "why can’t you just keep doing what you’re doing?" I can feel myself chickening out. I guess I am just not 100% confident that this is a last resort for me. I have dieted in the past, lost weight and gained it back, but I am second-guessing whether or not I really gave it my all.
Did anyone else go through this stage fright before having the VGS, and if so how did you overcome it? Any thoughts at all are welcome. I am just scared. Thank you all for reading this.