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I Want To Cry For Her

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I have been looking back at some old pictures of myself at the heaviest weight that I was....and I cant help but want to cry for that woman I see in the pictures. I remember how sad she was. She hated herself everytime she looked in the mirror. She felt judged everytime she ate in public, or did anything in public. She felt like she didnt belong in her own family because they were all thin, and she was so fat. She felt so desperatly trapped, and didnt know what to do to get out. I dont miss her, I just feel sad for her, and want to cry for her because it took so long to get out of her prison.

Now the person that I am is a free woman. No longer am I scared to eat in public, or be seen with my family. I love shopping, and dont feel like all the skinny women in stores are asking why I even bother shopping. I have energy, and sass. I want to do everything now....no more hiding! I am sexy, and my husband cant keep his hands off of me :P !!!!

For anyone who is unsure if they should take this drastic measure to get everything back, and stop being in your own prison......DO IT! My only regret is that I didnt free that woman sooner.

Thank God for the sleeve!

:)

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  • That was beautiful and well written- i think you captured how each one of us feels about our old lives. Thank you!

  • Perfectly said. Prior to surgery I interviewed several people and asked them if they had any regrets. They all said just one WISH I HAD HAD THE SURGERY SOONER!

  • I am about 7 weeks out myself. I am just barely starting to feel and see some changes. Reading things like this keeps me motivated. Makes me realize that I am in the process of shedding this baggage.

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Wow...that really was amazing

  • Author

Thank you!!! The closer my surgery gets the more I find myself saying I can lose 65% on my own, what if this happens, what if this........ My kids..... My grandfather... I'm taking away from their summer,,,, you know the drill. This is my 3rd time to go through wls process. Chickened out/talked out of it each Time. I really want this, but my mind won't stop playing games. I also chalk it up to never doing anything for myself. I Always put ppl first. Is this why I'm having doubt cause I don't know how to accept things for myself? Deep down I really think that's what it is! Your testimony is awesome. I'm printing it and put it in my post-op folder for encouragement!!! Thank you again. Steph

I did the exact same thing. I put my whole family first before me...but what I didnt realize was that I was depriving them of the very essance of me because I didnt want to go anywhere or do anything for fear of those other people judging me. Before I gained weight I was this person who did everything, and I realized that my children didnt really know the real me....the person who went skating and swimming and danced when nobody else was dancing. Every day know my kids are discovering something new about me. My oldest daughter said to me the other day that I got girly since I have lost weight. I told her I was always girly....its just harder when your bigger for others to see it. She also told me I laughed more and she likes it. That made me smile. If you put yourself first this time....it will mean the difference of just being there for the kids vs actually participating with them. You go get it girl! I wish the best for you and all others that are on the fence! :)

  • Author

Wow...that really was amazing

Thank you! ;)

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