Well... I'm supposed to eat high protein, low carb and no sodas or sugar up until I start my pre-op diet, which is 10 days long. I'm doing well but I had a food funeral. I went to cherry berry and had fat free frozen yogurt with fruit and granola. It wasn't sugar free though. I knew it my diet was gonna be hard and that there is the possibility that I mayslip, but I didn't realize the self-loathing and guilt I'd feel after. I keep thinking how I always tend to self-sabotage myself and wonder if I'm the only person who feels something like this if I veer off the straight and narrow

I understand the self-sabotage....I was told to lose 10 pounds before my procedure....that was in Feb...2nd to be exact....but because I've been letting stress get to me and I turned to something that I felt would "comfort" me, I've gained 20 pounds....

I didn't have a food funeral, but I did what I called, "tweeked out" and just didnt give a damn, because I was mad about an issues in both my personal and professional life....

I've sought therapy to try to figure this out and help me go this change....one thing she said to me on thursday is that I need to have more integrity in my food choices..I have integrity in my professional life, with people, but not with food, and I need to change that..if it passed through my lips I write it down...understand that food isn't going anywhere, so I must cope with co-existing with it...she really made me take a honest look at myself....its the reason why I've started this pre-op diet 1 week earlier than I'm suppose to...

So, you've proven that you're "Normal". Now, since you know you shouldn't have done that, you have to make the change. Was it worth the guilt you're feeling right now? I'm saying No. Look for some SF alternatives to keep at home so that you aren't tempted to slip again. You'll use them up during the pre and post op diet, so they won't go to waste either way.

This journey is tough and the amount of head work required is huge. No matter what the docs do to our tummies, though, we have to do the mental part. I, like PEvette, have enlisted a therapist to help me do all of this. It's not easy, but it is worth it!

I haven't had the surgery yet...still learning up and hitting meetings now to get the medical end, but one thing I can say that might help...I had a ruptured brain aneurysm a few years ago and I spent months in hospitals, didn’t even have much memory but when I woke up in the last hospital months down this road… I saw someone smoke outside I had no idea what it was and remember months have past so I had no drug habit left in me for them. But I knew I wanted one! So even when we cannot really think our old habits are hard to break… this journey with food bad vs good and all I’m expecting it to be long and not always easy but we can retain our heads so accept mistakes and plow forward. It seems to me that you are all doing great.

Wow, I was actually feeling like I'm the only loser who felt this way and I think next Weeks vlog is gonna be about food funerals and letting go of my food addiction