Had my first visit with the surgeon... It seriously took all my courage to get in there.... As I have been contemplating this for years....I found him to be cavalier and a fast talker.... He tod me about a patient he had that died with my BMI.....Telling me I will die without this but he's not willing to do it unless I lose at least 40 plus pounds and prove to him I'm serious.... I'm self pay... I'm so serious.... I feel shell shocked right now.....

Mind sharing where you live? I'd like to be there for you.

I think you have to be very comfortable with your doctor, and it doesn't sound like he or she was very sensitive to your fears or concerns. Please know that many of us lose a good deal of weight pre-op and it makes the surgery safer. You'll be okay...just try to keep calm.

Thank you... I am in WA state....

I am sure it is so surreal at this point and you have been kind of hurled into reality. Unfortunately some doctors forget that each patient that steps foot through their doors is a new life that's ready to be changed. You have made a fantastically huge step into changing your life for the better. Shell shock is normal...you were just presented with an option to choose life/health or continue down an unhealthy path. You are STILL alive and can still make the choice to LIVE. Don't write your death certificate or allow anyone else to, it's good to be aware but YOU make the choice and have already taken the first step. If you have any questions or need to talk, feel free to shoot me a message! I'm no seasoned vet by any means (2 weeks post op) but I'm living the life of a sleever and can relate with where you are for sure. Take care and enjoy this moment!

I would find a new doctor that can sympathize with your concerns and have better bedside manner. You need to feel like your 110% in good hands, Especially since your LIFE is in their hands. Do more research ...find a better doctor.

The doctors sometime say it up front so you understand. Patients die from this surgery. It was easy for me and other to loss alot of weight on the protein drink diet. I didnt think I would loss.

Not the best. But the hunger goes away. good luck , dont give up on yourself.

This doctor is concerned about your safety. I know it's hard to hear but really, his concern is for your health. I would rather have a doc tell it like it is than sugar coat things for

Me

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The doctor is just looking out for your health. I know it may be hard to hear, but sugar coating isn't what is needed right now. Be thankful you have a doctor that cares enough to be up front and honest with you.

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Thank you for your replies.... I am still mulling over how I feel about his approach... He made a comment saying ... You look better than I thought you would... How denigrating is that?..... I battle self esteem issues already... I feel beat up....

Also... As an RN I don't need sugar coating... I know the issues well.....

there are a lot of great doctors out there that will take the time with you to go over everything that you need to know. I would keep looking....you need to feel comfortable with him. I lucked out and the first doc that I chose was wonderful. you will need to lose some weight with any of the docs that you chose, but that is also the best thing for you to do for the surgery to be safe. I was able to lose 47 pounds before my surgery on slim fast. I just followed the plan that they tell you...2 shakes, a meal under 500 calories, and 3 snacks under 100 calories a day. i did it in 4 months. you can do this! change your life! god bless you and good luck!

Thank you sassy... I appreciate everyones support tonite.... Thank you all for your kindness...

There is a difference between being brutally honest, not surgarcoating it and completely careless and untoughtful of their words. Many of us know the true reality of the sleeve, obesity and such, and it's super important that everyone knows but I think most of us benefit much more from kindness and empathy than from feeling like someone is judging us and does not understand us. I loved my surgeon (dr. Ponce de leon in Tijuana Mexico) and he has more experience in the sleeve than most USA surgeons and not once did he made me feel anything but comfortable, yet he never sugarcoated anything.

Good luck!

Everyone needs something different out of a doctor. That's why there are so many different doctors in the world . I would seek a second opinion - and if need be - have a second meeting with your first choice in a doctor. And don't be afraid to call his nurse and talk to her about how he made you feel. Remember - doctors are people too and can have bad days. Dear God - I would hate to be a doctor on one of my bad days! Lol.

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The thing is you won't know if losing 40 pounds before surgery is something that only this Surgeon will suggest to you until you get a second opinion from a doctor in another practice. The other doctor may have more experience with higher BMI patients and require you to go on a liquid diet. The amount of time on the diet is based on your BMI. They do this to reduce the size of your liver to make the surgery safer.

Also make sure the surgeon you choose is certified to do bariatric surgery.

The other side of this is that you must be comfortable with your doctor he's going to be in your life for a while here so no sense in being miserable. This first surgeon has a more caustic manner than you may be comfortable with. Unless your insurance company is saying that he is the only one who can do your surgery, if I were you, I'd keep looking around