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Hope For Second Year Sleevers

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I got on the scale today and it said: 179.8.

I'm making this announcement because I want people to know that so far, my year-long experiment with sleeve eating has not been a failure. If you've ever read my posts before, you know that I am not dieting with the sleeve. I am not lowcarbing. My calories are not at starvation level and they have not been since I got my surgery last April. My actually surgery was March 29, but I mostly count it as April 1 just to round everything out.

Okay so the thing is, there is research out there that says that people typically lose sixty percent of their weight in the first year and that's all you get. There is research that says that you will "stretch" your sleeve after six months or so, lose your "honeymoon" with your sleeve, stop losing and get stuck. There are surgeons who say you *have to* be on a lowcarb diet of 800 calories for the rest of your life or you won't lose the weight, and they say that you need to exercise like a demon *while* you're eating that 800 and you have to stay like that forever or you'll get fat again.

I want to tell you that in my experience this is not true.

What I want to tell you is that I got the sleeve because I was 46 and SO FAT -- I weighed 289 -- and I was at the end of my rope. I had dieted before and gotten the weight off only to regain it and the way I did that is pretty much to follow all the instructions above. Eating 800 lowcarb calories a day will get you to goal weight, there is no doubt,but in my opinion that's just no way to live and it's impossible to sustain. It also creates such intense anxiety about eating and your body and your food that it creates a horrible unending complex about fat, and feeding yourself, that the cure is worse than the disease.

I got my surgery in March. I was *severely* depressed and the reason I was depressed primarily was because I WAS SO FAT. I really hated myself. But I decided that the fat was emotional mostly and so what I was going to do was this. I was going to lose weight without dieting by having a surgeon remove eighty five percent of my stomach. And knowing that was taken care of and I had done the most *extreme* thing I could possibly do to solve my weight problem, I was going to let it come off naturally, eat normally and not push myself or punish myself because obsessing over my weight has basically been my career since I was 13 years old.

I had this thought once when I was watching Oprah Winfrey. All that woman ever talked about was her weight. All she ever did was look at the scale. Every time she lost fifty pounds it made the freakin national news and when she gained the weight back she made this weird confession and apology to everyone in the world. So obviously she was obsessed but what I really thought was holy crap, really? Imagine what Oprah could have accomplished with her life if she was not spending seventy five percent of her time obsessing over her pants size. Imagine what *I* could do if this was NO LONGER A PROBLEM for me and when I say NO LONGER A PROBLEM I mean I NEVER HAVE TO THINK OR WORRY ABOUT IT AGAIN.

So really....I was looking for more than weight loss. I wanted to be healed. Completely.

So the weight has come off really slow. In August of last year, I weighed 237. In November, I weighed 222. In January, 209. On April 1, my surgiversary, I weighed about 190. I've gone on vacation, I've drunk numerous glasses of wine, I've eaten cake and Pasta and carbs, I've avoided cardio really for the most part -- but my calories are *naturally* way under what I would need to sustain these weights and so....slowly....it's coming off. And it's still coming off and it has now been *over* a year.

I think I'm going to hit goal eventually. This will be without dieting, without worrying about the "honeymoon period", and without forcing myself to do ninety hours of cardio a week. And when I get there there's not going to be some freakout/rebound where I now have to figure out what "maintenance" is and be on the verge of shooting myself in the head because I had a piece of birthday cake or a piece of gum with sugar in it.

So this is what I want to say:

If you're just starting this project ( I refuse to say journey -- UGH) then realize that patience is required. Plan on a year *or more*. Even if you believe the honeymoon thing you're not going to drop all your weight *inside* your "honeymoon" so think about it...what are you going to do when it's over? Because you're still going to have to lose a lot of weight and you're going to have to sustain whatever you're doing for the rest of your life. It's frustrating that such an extreme solution is not instantaneous, but it is NOT, so prepare yourself. You're going to be working on this for at least a year. A year is a long time and you can't just not be alive for a year while you get thin. I didn't have that year to waste and you don't either.

If you're just starting this project, consider what you want your life to be as a thin person. Not a "formerly fat" person. Not a constantly dieting, obsessed person. This is what you'll be free of when it's done, so prepare by starting now and living your life.

And finally: Prepare for the idea that you may not lose all your weight in the first year. But remember this post by me and realize that you *will* very likely get exactly where you are going by the end of the second one and forget all that stuff about first years and honeymoons. This is not magic, it's science. It's mechanics. The mechanism that uses energy that is your body will continuously be operating at a deficit *even after* the honeymoon, *even after* the first year, and that means you *will* get there. You *have to*.

This requires patience, and then more patience. That's really the *only* think you need going into this. The rest, I really promise you -- will take care of itself.

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  • kayte819
    kayte819

    Love it! I'm 3 mos out & sometimes during a stall I get discouraged, but you're so right.....patience. I also agree about the obsessing. It's so drilled into my mind to not eat carbs that if I eat

  • Crosswind, I've said it before and I will say it again... you make so much sense. You have clear words or wisdom and I for one am always eager to read your posts. I feel that the sleeve is a life

  • I really don't think there is such a thing as a honeymoon. What I do think is that in the first months you've had serious, major surgery and had your stomach cut out and if you're not an alien this is

Featured Replies

Thank you O.D. For adding some perspective to this.

You're welcome. You know, when you have the surgery, you really notice how much everyone else eats. You think "how did I ever eat like that?"

Now, I have to really try hard to stay on track . It seems like everywhere I go, people are eating and snacking like no tomorrow. It makes me mad that it's so easy to join right in sometimes :(

You're welcome. You know' date=' when you have the surgery, you really notice how much everyone else eats. You think "how did I ever eat like that?"

Now, I have to really try hard to stay on track . It seems like everywhere I go, people are eating and snacking like no tomorrow. It makes me mad that it's so easy to join right in sometimes <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' />[/quote']

Hi! Thank you for being honest. Do you feel the temptation to eat all the time? Like you did before or just when out with friends?

I appreciate this topic & everyone's honesty. I think it really helps us newbies.

I feel the urge to eat and snack all evening long. It when my head hunger goes crazy.

There is absolutely no restriction with snack foods. If I didn't weigh myself every day, I am sure I could put 10 lbs back on in nothing flat.

O.D,

I'm curious, please don't feel like you have to answer if you do not want to share.

Have you gained much weight back? Or any? Where did you start and what is your current weight? Total weight loss?

I ask because I'm afraid that I'm going to get the weight off then put it right back on after a few years of stretching the pouch. I know it can never be the size it was pre op but still the fear is there. I'm still a newbie at this and learn something new about my sleeve daily. But I don't want to start out on that slippery slope backward either. I get very down watching others eat. I sometimes wish I could eat that whole sandwich w turkey ham cheese bacon lettuce tomatoe and mayo but I know eating even 3 bites would probably make me sick.

I still sometimes feel as if I'm going to be that one person who paid all this money and only be healthy for a couple years.

SW: 256. DoS: 248. CW: 219. Total loss: 37

Date of surgery - Aug 9, 2012

O.D,

I'm curious, please don't feel like you have to answer if you do not want to share.

Have you gained much weight back? Or any? Where did you start and what is your current weight? Total weight loss?

I ask because I'm afraid that I'm going to get the weight off then put it right back on after a few years of stretching the pouch. I know it can never be the size it was pre op but still the fear is there. I'm still a newbie at this and learn something new about my sleeve daily. But I don't want to start out on that slippery slope backward either. I get very down watching others eat. I sometimes wish I could eat that whole sandwich w turkey ham cheese bacon lettuce tomatoe and mayo but I know eating even 3 bites would probably make me sick.

I still sometimes feel as if I'm going to be that one person who paid all this money and only be healthy for a couple years.

SW: 256. DoS: 248. CW: 219. Total loss: 37

Date of surgery - Aug 9, 2012

I know I'm not the orginal poster but maybe this will help some. First of all we don't get a pouch, we still have our regular stomach that functions just like before only much,much smaller. My doctor said that you can't stretch it out since he took almost all of the stretchy out. I am 14 months out and for the last 7 mo or so I have eaten anything I want and I do mean anything and I haven't gained a pound I also haven't lost anything, but I'm not trying to either. I'm really happy where I am. I do weigh everyday just to keep myself on track and I'm sure if I started throwing back milkshakes and candy bars willy nilly the weight would come back. It does seem like it would be an effort to really gain again though. This is just my experience but I hope it helps.

I am almost eight months out and I pretty much eat what I want. But what I have found like one poster said, now that I just act as though a normal person would, I don't have those obsessions to eat like before. My happiness with my new body is giving me the desire NOT to eat all the snack foods. I always heard the saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" but when I was eating my comfort foods I thought "yeah right!" Now, I get that saying and it is so true for me.

Well, I wish I could be honest and say I'm not hinged and I don't want to snack and I like to eat really healthy but I would be lying so that cancels why I did this in the first place. I did easily lose 100 lbs with very little hunger in the first year or so. Once at goal, I gradually added back in some carbs and snacks and my appetite for them grew simply because even though I still have restriction for dense protein etc I can "eat around" my sleeve and gain if I choose. I have added back about 15 lbs over a year and now am concentrating on trying to eat normal and not deprive myself but watch what and when it does go in my mouth. My body does NOT want to let go of these extra lbs again. I admit I am not exercising right now. Too much stress and tired with all that goes on in my household right now. I do know this. I would gladly line up to do it again today of necessary. I am healthy, thin and plan on staying this way. But trust me at 2 1/2 years out I know I must work at it too. It is NOT a magic bullet.

O.D,

I'm curious, please don't feel like you have to answer if you do not want to share.

Have you gained much weight back? Or any? Where did you start and what is your current weight? Total weight loss?

I ask because I'm afraid that I'm going to get the weight off then put it right back on after a few years of stretching the pouch. I know it can never be the size it was pre op but still the fear is there. I'm still a newbie at this and learn something new about my sleeve daily. But I don't want to start out on that slippery slope backward either. I get very down watching others eat. I sometimes wish I could eat that whole sandwich w turkey ham cheese bacon lettuce tomatoe and mayo but I know eating even 3 bites would probably make me sick.

I still sometimes feel as if I'm going to be that one person who paid all this money and only be healthy for a couple years.

SW: 256. DoS: 248. CW: 219. Total loss: 37

Date of surgery - Aug 9, 2012

I got down to about 7 lbs below goal. I expected to gain that back. It was in the beginning when I was so full all the time, snacking didn't even enter my mind. I was so full all the time, that the thought of putting anything extra in my mouth made me nauseous. Now I am 5 above my goal.

I think it would be really difficult to gain back the entire 100 lbs, but would be easy as pie to gain back 20 more in no time at all. It takes a lot of willpower now, not to eat the things I know I am not supposed to eat. It's hard.

Just like my mother used to say "if everyone else jumped off the bridge, would you jump too? Everyone else eats junk food around around me. My friends eat candy all the time and people want to go out for ice cream or. pizza, etc.

Plus, I can physically eat a lot more now. So if something tastes really good that we're having for dinner, it's quite easy to eat a bigger portion than I did a year ago.

Just know that this is a tool, and a tool you'll have the rest of your life. But you'll have to do your part too, because this tool can't do it 100% for us. It's still way easier with this tool I have now though, than all my previous years of yo you dieting.

I am 5 lbs above goal which I have been trying very hard to take off and can't. I can get about 2 lbs off but gain it back immediately if I eat anything "not on program". So I've been trying for months to get back to goal, but actually what I am doing, is managing to not gain more.

Thank you for sharing your experience' date=' you have given me hope that I will to become a success story[/quote']

I found this so encouraging, I had got it into my head that if the smaller stomach helped me to eat less then I should loose weight and keep it off, and have been concerned with eating too little and going into starvation mode which can stop or slow weight loss, thank you for all the posts, it really is helping me in my thinking. The people I know who have no issues with weight eat what they want but in small portions, and know when they are full and stop eating. I am always hungry, and really hope that it is true that the hunger goes with the part of the stomach that is removed, and can know when I am full. Thanks again, :-) x

  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for this conversation ladies!

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