I have had such a problem in the past really admitting to what has actually caused me to be fat. I have been married almost 11 years and I just told my husband this today. He had no idea. Since I was 19 years old (I'm 27 now) Whenever I'm alone, especially when I would drive to town with out kids or husband, I would binge on food. I would not throw it up, but I would just stuff my face and then hide the wrappers. Hiding the wrappers I have no idea why because my husband met me big and has never been bothered by the fact. (he has a thing for bigger women). He has never told me to not have that extra twinky or slice of pizza. If I'm happy, he's happy. But I still found myself buying two double quarter pounders with cheese, two large orders of french fries, and a large soda and downing in in 20 minutes. If I was on any kind of diet, whatever I didn't eat in front of someone, I didn't count as eating at all. (hmmmmm, wonder why I'm fat??? lol). Anyways, I'm so glad I can put this out in the open, I have never talked about it and certainly never posted it in a public forum. I just figure, if I keep it a secret, I'm obviously not trying to change it. Although, now I'm banded and doing great so far. I feel as if my life is gonna change. I know the band does not change my mental issues with food but after admitting this, I think I have decided to start seeing a counselor about that part. Thanks for listening. What a load off my chest. (about two quarter pounders and a some fries worth!)

This topic really hits home for me so I feel I must share with you guys about bulimia. I was overweight from a very young age, weighing 130 lbs in 2nd grade, etc. Once I got to college I was determined to date guys and make more friends and I was fed up with being fat and feeling isolated. But b/c of my obsession with food I couldn't get the weight off and KEEP IT OFF w/out cheating. So I relied heavily on diet pills ate healthy in front of my friends and then binged and purged in private. It is nothing to mess around with and EXTREMELY addictive and scary to be dealing with. At first I thought I had it made b/c I got to eat my doughnuts and pizza, chocolate...whatever my little heart desired and everybody was always so darn jealous of how I maintained my size 6 figure. But it ravashes your body, and quickly. The more often I pigged out and purged, the more I wanted to do it and I kept getting more and more food. It got so bad at one pt that I was breaking dates and not going to parties just so I could eat in private. And then there was the problem of where to throw up at-you always had to scope out where the nearest bathrooms were. Throwing up violently after binging destroys your teeth enamel, your heart races, your throat hurts and you get dizzy and weak afterwards. I felt so helpless b/c I was addicted to food in the worst way but scared to get help in fear of gaining my weight back. Eventually I kicked the habit (after 3 yrs) when I went to the ER b/c I felt like I was going to pass out and the doc told me that my electrolytes were all screwed up and my heart was beating irregularly and she basically told me that I could have a heart attack soon (I was 21!) if I didn't stop throwing up. So obviously thats when I knew I needed help and luckily I got it. But up until I dealt with bulimia I always thought it was just something models did every once in awhile; I had no idea it was so addicting. When I quit puking I got very healthy, very quickly. I also gained over 100 lbs too but I knew that was going to happen. I am going to have a food addiction the rest of my life and at least now I can recognize that. I am just glad that I was able to beat bulimia b/c it is so darn scary to go thru. I would rather be MO than bulimic in a heartbeat. I felt so much worse having to hide my disease rather than wearing it on my sleeve when I was just huge. Alright. I feel much better getting that off of my chest.

~Liz~

03/10/06

241/169/160

5'7''

OMG that's a powerful story. It has to be good for you to get it off your chest and know that it can help someone else.

You know if they can call alcoholism a disease, they can darned sure call MO one too. I swear you either are suseptible to it or not, and grows into a worse and worse problem over time. If you are predisposed to MO, you are almost powerless to control it.

I feel sometimes like we are banging our heads against a wall trying to communicate with the medical profession. So many of them still believe that dieting is the answer. We all know that it isn't!

I am hoping that I can go from looking like Mrs. Ozzie Osborne before, to within a couple of years after getting the LB, looking like her now.

I just remembered an occasion ...When i was in 4-h //We had our club @ a local stewarts..they were celabrating there 5 year anniversary..They were offering 5cent ice cream cones..Lets say i had 10.00 in ice cream that day..Anybody want to guess how many LOL

~Kristen

I'll bite... how many???? I'll bet if there was an ice cream cone eating contest I could have given you a run for your money! It's my drug of choice.

You guys may have beaten me as far as ice cream but I'M THE FRENCH FRY QUEEN BIOTCHES! LOL

That's funny. Why are we wired so differently, but when it comes to prescribing a diet, we're all supposed to lose the same way?

I could probably live forever without french fries. I have a good friend who could kill for curly fries. In fact potatoes are so much her thing, she'll even eat them raw. Now that's body chemistry at work, big time.:straight

Personally, a life without ice cream may not be a life worth living. OMG I can't believe I just said that.

When I was a young girl, and my folks knew that ice cream was my favorite thing, it was always what they got me if I did something good. It was that way until I left home for college. Then I personally took over and rewarded myself for accomplishments, and failures, and because it was Tuesday, or because my boyfriend did/didn't show up, if my dog barked, or my roomy looked at me... whatever! So you see, I got it bad, and that ain't good.:huggie:

So anyway, I have many, (yeah, way many) years of reinforced bad behavior. Now if I could just come to the realization that NOT having ice cream is the reward for the slender, pretty me, I'd be in good shape for this journey. Where's a good shrink when you need them??? :heh:

Bjean-forget shrinks how about revenge?? Reviewing this thread I have come up with the following:

Litigation list:

Little debbie (that gingham wearing cream filled hussy)

Krispy Kreme (I think the glaze is heroin based)

McDonalds

Taco Bell

Stupid doctors who say things like "go on the Pasta diet-you know past da store, past da cookies"(omg that is soo funny dr dumba$$- I'm gonna key your BMW on the way out-I think I'll inscribe PASTA)

Any fill personel (md,rn,pa,np) who think fills are for honing their needle in a haystack skills

Olive Garden (mmmm garlic bread...)

Weight Watchers

Phen-fen (although I must admit it seemed brillant-I'm not hungry and I have energy-okay so my heart leaks a little):unlove:

Florida Gator fans (hey it's my list and I'm a UT alum):croc:

Kentucky Fried chicken

People who invented cabbage Soup diet, grapefruit diet, etc...

All the school personel who used to line us up and weigh us and call out the result.ARRGH!!!

The makers of the line JUST MY SIZE (translated you're too fat for normal clothes)

Diet Coke-I think that it's entirely possible that it contains a secret ingredient that makes you want to eat large quantities of hydogenated fats.

Feel free to add anyone you deem necessary...

I'd like to add Ben and Jerry and Mr. Hagen Das to the litigation list!

I'd like to add:

Oreo cookies

The Food network

hershey with almonds

any chocolate for that matter

the inventor of margarita and appletini mixes

Mrs. Bairds when they are baking!!

La Madelines tomatoe basil soup

cinnabon

I could go on for hours thats why I'm fat!!!!

Ohhh-good ones-

I'm pretty sure The food Network is run by a group of skinny sadists that use subliminal adverstising: Must buy Rachel Ray's book, must buy Rachel Ray's magazine, must watch Rachel Ray's 42 shows, must elect Rachel Ray president of the United States, EVOO for vice president...

I had to stop watching food network because I was so damn hungry! To the ladies who love ice cream and french fries... I used to do both together! Yummy, nothing like hot, salty fries in a Wendy's frosty.

So, this is embarassing...

I once ordered a Lg. pizza and wings when my husband was out of town. Totally forgot that they email a conformation...to my husbands Blackberry!

He asked if I was having a party while he was out of town...Damn!

I had my pre-op appointment with a psychologist just last week. I admitted to her that I've been hiding food since I was a very small child. She asked why, and I didn't have an answer for her. We're talking 6 years old or so. I guess somewhere along the way, someone commented that I was eating too much. How else could this start so young?

derbygirl: How many kids in your family? We used to hide stuff because if we didn't it would be gone almost instantly. Someone would find it!

Also, I hid things because I COULD. I think it had to do with control and being able to make my own decisions.

Of course some psychologist might suggest otherwise, like maybe some deep-seated desire to beat my dog to death with a twinkie, but I sincerely doubt it.

Only two of us kids in the family...and no shortage of food ever that I recall.

I do remember getting in trouble occasionally for eating stuff, like Velveeta. My mom wouldn't know I was eating it after school because the carton wouldn't show anyone had been into it. Then she'd go to make a recipe and get all ticked because there wasn't enough left.

:straight

But in my defense...she didn't tell me NOT to eat it. (But I did every time, even after getting in trouble in the past.)

When I was in HS I used to drive to Weight Watchers for my weekly weigh in -- and feeling very hungry after starving myself all day on Monday to make up for a 'bad' week and even worse weekend of sneak eating. On the way to the meeting I would skip the drive through and zip into the grocery store to pick up not one, but two, frozen Sara Lee cheesecakes. (It has been probably 20 years since I have had a Sara Lee frozen cheesecake, but just typing this is making me salivate.)

I had to pick them up BEFORE the meeting because they would need to have time to thaw a little bit so they wouldn't break my teeth! After the meeting I would either reward or console myself depending on the magic numbers on the scale by gorging myself on both of the cheesecakes on the drive home. (They were small...at least that is how I rationalized it at the time.) I would peel the foil pan back and hold a mostly-frozen cheesecake in one hand while I steered with the other hand.

I grew up on a farm and this was before the days that littering was a big deal, so I would zip down a back road and chuck the foil pan and the cardboard lid out the window and would just make sure to sweep the tasty graham cracker crumbs off my lap and off of the front seat of my dad's car to destroy the evidence.

No wonder I never lost much on Weight Watchers!

More recently, I have a car that automatically drives itself into the McDonald's drive thru every morning on my way to work. I live in a semi-rural area and we don't have all that many choices for fast food, so I keep hitting the same one over and over again. You know it's bad when on Friday the drive thru lady says, "See you Monday!" and the fact that I knew not only WHEN she was going on vacation, but that she was going to visit her in-laws who live in the mountains. I was starting to know more about her than I was about my coworkers!

I have not yet been banded, but I am going to start making a conscious effort tomorrow to drive right on by the drive thru. The lady at the window may file a missing person's report...but it will feel good to feel like I am getting some control back!

Mary