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Hostility? Why?

I have been commenting on these boards since August and lately it seems my comments and suggestions have been under attack. I dont understand this at all. I will answer the original poster to the best of my ability and share my experience, what I can eat, how much, etc. and inevitably someone will come back with rude comments, say I am misinformed? etc. How am I misinformed about my own journey? Anyways, I have about decided not to try to help anyone else because of this. I dont tell other people that they are wrong in their opinions. My opinion may be different but I dont call others out on theirs and argue with them about it. My experience is my own and I beleive I know what it is! I dont pad things, I just tell it like it is and what I do for me. It may not work for everyone but I thought that was the idea of a board, to get several peoples help and opinions and experience. Geez. If it happens again, I will be forced to stop commenting at all. Its sad that it has come to this because I used to love this board and it was a great help to me in the beginning. I was hoping to pay it forward. :(

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  • Forensikchic
    Forensikchic

    It really helped that there are some people who enjoy my posts and want me to continue sharing my experiences. I really relied on posters with lots of experience, namely Tiffikins in the beginning.

  • It's the nature of the beast of internet forums. There's always someone out there that will be "holier than thou", or someone who vehemently disagrees with a particular opinion. I have learned after b

  • A few words of advice, do your best to ignore the negative nannies. It doesn't matter what message board you are on, there are going to be some of those types. They believe they are right, everyone

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Let's face it. Some people just plain suck, and there's not a lot that we can do about it. I think you rock.

Forensikchik, people who don't want to hear about your journey, are just close minded. I have practically begged a few times for those who are further out to answer my questions not just on here but other wls forums. I guess i can see why they get frustrated now. It really upsets me. I firmly believe that we should keep as many vets around as possible. It is so important to those about to go have vsg or those who are just post op and struggling. Newbies only should not answer. Vets are invaluable in my opinion and highly important. I love to hear from people further out than me whether their opinions may not be what I want to hear. Knowledge is power, people. Thank you Forensikchik for your contributions and never think that they aren't welcome or appreciated.

  • Author

Forensikchik, people who don't want to hear about your journey, are just close minded. I have practically begged a few times for those who are further out to answer my questions not just on here but other wls forums. I guess i can see why they get frustrated now. It really upsets me. I firmly believe that we should keep as many vets around as possible. It is so important to those about to go have vsg or those who are just post op and struggling. Newbies only should not answer. Vets are invaluable in my opinion and highly important. I love to hear from people further out than me whether their opinions may not be what I want to hear. Knowledge is power, people. Thank you Forensikchik for your contributions and never think that they aren't welcome or appreciated.

I have reconsidered and I think I will stick around a while! My sister is about to be sleeved in June and I want to be here for her too. She lives in another state so it helps for her to have somewhere to go to with her questions. I was a newbie one time too and I know I sure appreciated getting answers to my questions. Sometimes no one would answer me and i would be so upset! I try to help all those I feel I can contribute something useful to. Good luck in your journey and I am always available via PM if anyone has a particular question they think I might be able to answer and no one is answering them.

IGNORE the negative....if you can help even one person get through their struggles then all in all you have made a difference in someone's life!!! Keep on keeping on!!!!

I hope I didn't say anything dumb! I love your posts - you've definitely inspired me!

  • 1 month later...

I hope I never said anything to contribute to your feeling attacked or anything (I don't think that I did, but man, I sure hope not). Hope you don't leave. Your sister is very lucky to have you as a resource.

  • Author

Im still around, just not as active as I have been. I check this site every few days. I hope everyone is doing well. My sisters surgery is coming up in less than a month! She is getting excited now and trying to cut her carbs so she can lose some before the liquid diet. How long the liquid diet is depends on what she weighs on Friday. Fingers crossed she can cut the carbs down and lose to her mini goal and only have to do 10 days of liquids instead of 21!

I really don't follow who posts what or what posts/threads are in question here, but at the end of the day, who cares? Seriously, does it really matter? If you get something from this site, or feel that you contribute, use it. That's what it is here for. If someone doesn't like your posts or "attacks" you, what difference does it make? That's one of the nice things. All it takes is a "logout". Wish I could "logout" on some people IRL! ;) And the biggest pain points usually don't stick around long. They either give themselves enough rope to hang themselves with, or they grow tired once they don't get the reaction they're looking for.

I process info fairly literaly, and "say it like it is" to a fault. I have a hard time tolerating blatant stupidity. And I info overkill because there's so little accurate info out there. Guess what... I tend to not be too popular on "support" boards, if you can imagine that. ;) But I'm still here, because there are still things I can learn, and perhaps things I can share. Being able to really help 1 person is worth a lot of "you sucks." Support for me is information. I don't really need empathy or a (((hug))). I need someone to kick my ass when I'm not seeing the whole picture.

And more generally... I'm not a vet here, but I am on one of Alex's other boards for a different WLS. I can tell you that few things get as old, as quickly, as the same newbie questions over and over and over. Especially when there are threads answering the questions pinned left and right, and a basic search would have yielded tons of info. And the overreactions, and false conclusions. Yes, it's a part of the process -- especially when people don't research the crap out of everything they're about to do to themselves... but that doesn't make it any more fun to feel like you're almost spamming b/c you post the same info over & over. Vets have their own sets of challenges and struggles. They really are "at a different place."

We need you! We can all spot the haters. We're grateful for you!

I just got a good healthy dose of that hostility directed at me. I suppose the poster can block me if I bother them that much. I'm staying.

  • 2 weeks later...

I personally have enjoyed reading things that you have replied to. You commented on a post of mine a week or so ago and it was along the same lines as others had posted. I think you should ignore the people that are giving you grief...you have been sleeved for a considerable amount of time and your journey can and will help people...we all may be different but a lot of the journeys are the same...

I have seen a number of your posts and I completely agree. I am all for information and honesty. Sometimes it is hard, but I don't understand why someone would post and hope for lies. Thank you for sharing your journey!

I have certainly learned a lot from your posts. Besides, if anyone knows anything or even researched the subject of getting sleeved...we all know there is no set standard because all my information has been different .. Use a straw..don't use a straw ..eat 80 grams of protein per day ..no its 50-60 grams for women...that's not what my Dr. said...wow..you're eating mushies 1 week post op..I had to drink liquids until four weeks out...and the list goes on and on.. Please don't take to heart what someone else's opinion is. It doesn't take away from the fact you won the fight! You are a success and people like me need people like you to tell us how and when and where you did it because you know...it just may work for us too! So please...stay. Keep posting because you never know when you did "just pay it forward"!

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