Usually when I eat out, especially now, I get it to go. Today I went to Mimi's Cafe for lunch with a coworker. I was pretty good I think - I got the Soup and sandwich combo with french onion soup and a BLT sandwich. I ate the cheese off the soup and most of the broth, and then I had two slices of the bacon and a slice of tomato off the sandwich.

What bothered me most was when the server came over with the check she got this disturbed look on her face when she saw my plate and exclaimed rather loudly "You barely touched your food!" I started to explain why I picked, but instead I just left it at "I had surgery" and left it alone. She looked like she wanted to pry, and she tried, but I shut her down. Part of me thinks that a small part of the reason most of us are/were overweight is because when we try to control our portions it's almost as if it's frowned upon.

Anybody else feel like this?

LOL - You should have asked her "I realized I wasn't very hungry, why do you think it might affect your tip?"

I've had that happen nearly every time I go out for food since surgery. First time getting sushi with my husband, the waitress kept asking if we "needed to order more" as she looked at our simple order (mostly for him, just sashimi for me). Then we hit a taco stand and I got the shrimp taco, ate the filling but not the shell. I was asked if anything was wrong with my order, as it took me about 30 minutes to eat it. At an Applebees, I got the soup/salad combo and pretty much just ate the chicken off the salad and barely touched the soup. The server asked me if the food was OK. Finally, when I stopped at my favorite taqueria and ordered a single shrimp taco, he asked me twice, "Are you sure that's all you want?"

I understand they are in the service industry, and are meant to upsell and live on tips. I hope it will go away eventually. When I picked up fish at my favorite place, I asked for a 4oz portion of halibut and she tried to get me to buy 6-8oz! I finally told her why I was only getting the small piece and she was so understanding. She told me later that if I need anything in smaller portions, they'll be happy to cut it for me and freeze wrap it for longer storage.

What I do as soon as I get my food in a restaurant is to order a to go box, I removed all the food that I won't eat and put it in the box . So then my plate looks like I eat it all lol.

Yeah is really different now to eat out post op,but we have to manage that in some way. That server sounds like she/he was really ignorant. I hope you didn't leave a tip for her/him LOL

I don't think the server meant any harm. We must keep in mind that it's probably odd for them to see a person eat so little. Society is used to the way you ate "pre-surgery". I think maybe it was natural for her to think that something may have been wrong with your food and this is why you didn't eat it all. I haven't been sleeved yet but I'm preparing myself mentally for the shocked or puzzled look most people will have when I eat so little. LOL I gotta tell you, when my cousin had Gastric Bypass surger 10 years ago, I was amazed at how little she would eat and become full. I couldn't wrap my head around it as I loaded down and demolished on my huge plate at Thanksgiving. LOL

The first few times I went out I felt like I needed to eat faster because of the people I was with & ended up throwing up in thwe restaurant bathroom. I've also had experiences like yours where I picked at my food & took forever to eat a little bit. I'm basically to the point where I no longer go out to eat because the expereinces are just terrible anymnore.

I do a combination of things now. Either I order the absolute smallest portion I can, usually ala carte, or I ask for a to go box up front. This leaves me open to say "I had a big breakfast/lunch" or "I'm not really hungry". Once the plate arrives, I portion out what I want now and for later. If I order something that I don't want to take home (taco salad anyone?), then I eat the meat and move the rest around. I'll break up the taco shell on a taco salad, or spread out the veggie, etc. This makes it look like I ate more than I did.

Now, I have absolutely NO problem telling people I had surgery. I feel like I talk about it constantly. However, my dining companions don't want to hear it every time we go out to eat, so I've become creative about making it look like I ate more than I did. I also order Water to drink rather than have someone constantly offering me a drink.

I second Lissa's comment about ordering water. While we don't eat and drink together, if you don't order something to drink, it seems like they just keeeeeep asking. Its easier just to order water and not drink it or sip on it. I ordered a glass of wine with a friend the other night and after a couple months post op, I find that I CAN drink a little bit of wine....a normal serving, ya know....just a little over the bottom of the glass. But the waitress brought out a huge, full to the rim, glass of wine, which I only drank about 1/4 of. My friend understood and is completely supportive of my surgery, but I think she was still wondering why I ordered it. lol....oh well. I guess it's just things we'll have to get used to and let roll off our back. And I always get asked if the food was okay cause I don't eat a warp speed like everyone else and then still only eat a little bit of the gigantic portions it seems like every place serves. The a la carte menu and appetizer menu seems like a sleevers best friend. Good luck!! and keep your head held high!! You are doing something great for yourself.

actually to follow up though....I suppose to be honest, I've really stopped eating out. Maybe once every two weeks or so (as opposed to every other night.) And that's for two reasons....I can't find sleeve friendly food at most places and 2) because of the gauking thing.

Ohhhh one other idea that I use is when you can tell the server is going to ask if the food was okay (And you can totally tell cause they get that scrunched up expression on their face and have that look of worry just before they ask) I usually ask for a to-go box. It seems to bring them comfort if you are going bring it home. Even if you are just going to toss it in the trash outside the restaurant, it saves a lot of answering questions.

I get irritated when people look at me and expect an explanation of my actions.. If I didn't say anything was wrong the first 5 times you asked, then NOTHING'S WRONG!!!! And, maybe I don't want to eat all of my food.. I'm paying for it, so it shouldn't matter to you what I do with it... (sorry, I get irritated when people asked/say the same stuff over and over again!!)

I understand being in service industry, but some people are just plain NOSY!! I eat out at least once a week and I usually order an appetizer as my meal... and I talk and socialize while eating slowly... My friends have now started leaving food on their plates.. I think my small food intake is opening their eyes to the massive amounts of food we used to consume together...

The program I went through gave me a laminated card for restaurants (and emergencies) asking for me to be allowed child or portion size meals.

The emergency side kind of freaked me out with the new "rules" in place due to the surgery.

We tend to eat out a fair amount -- Maybe once every two weeks or sometimes once a week. I'm not fond of chain restaurants so I like to be adventurous. I had Spanish food last week.

Anyway, a good server will not even bat an eye, especially when you tell them that the food was very good (if it is). People remarking on how much you've eaten is WAY out of line.

I'm taking my mother to an Easter brunch and I will admit that it took almost an act of God to get the child's price at a very good restaurant (they had to consult the hotel's food and beverage manager). I simply will not pay full price. If they won't accommodate I will happily eat elsewhere. In regular restaurants I just take the food home as I LOVE leftovers.

I had my first eating out experience this week and it was great. I got the daily special with everything since I knew I was going to have to pay the whole price anyways. The special had a mountain of rice, plantains, and meat. I ate about half the meat and everything else went to a to go box, all I kept thinking was I am not going to have to cook for my mom when I get home, she is having this box. The waitress didn't ask any questions, but even if she had asked I would have simply said I am full.