Hey everyone,

I am a yo-yo dieter of the worst kind. I have been dieting since I was 9, stuggling with my weight since age 6, and bulimic since I was 12. I am now 26. I have been 205 pounds, 145 pounds, and everything in between. I've tried every diet, every workout, every lifestyle change, therapy, hypnotism, everything.

After having one of the worst body-mental health-image wise years of my life and gaining 35 pounds 4 months after my wedding (which I crash dieted and was skinny for), I have made the decision to grasp this moment when I am not dieting and have a BMI of 30 to take the opportunity to have this surgery, which I believe, will save me from myself.

I beleive this surgery will cure me of bulimia, as this disease has always been a vicious cycle of feeling out of control, then shame, then guilt The VSG will take out the first variable (feeling out of control) and will force me to face my issues and eat like a normal person.

Has anyone else here actively struggled with bulimia in the days, weeks, months before getting sleeved? I would like to chat about the effects of the surgery on eating disorders, and if alternately, the ED had any effect on the actual surgery itself.

If this is successful for me in beating my bulimia (which i truly believe it will be, or else I would not be doing it), I hope I can shed light onto how this wonderful surgery can do more than save lives through weight loss, but that it can save the lives of those suffering from bulimia as well.

xoxo

I fought bulimia most of my life. Sometimes it was horrible. Other times, I went years without purging.

I didn't mention this to my surgeon out of fear that he would not perform the surgery.

I was worried about damage to my throat and stomach but he scoped me and I was normal.

With some bulimics, they are not vomitting for weight loss but for a form of control. I did it for weight loss.

I would NEVER considering doing it now. Never. I fear that I would hurt myself.

Bulima is a mental choice. Every time I hung my head over the toliet, it was my choice.

Is your surgeon requiring a mental evaluation?

I worry about the condition of my esophagus at times as well.

No my surgeon does not require a mental evaluation, but I have been through enough therapists and counselors to BS my way out of anything.

My bulimia has always been for weight los, but because I'm eating foods I deem "bad" and can't have one cookie like a "normal" person, but wil feel guilty after one and eat a tray. I'm excited to not have the guilt anymore!

You are very brave to post, I hope you work with a pyschologist through your journey! Good luck.

Hello!

I am not a bulimic, but I am a compulsive overeater and I have been in and out of Overeaters Anonymous for 26 years and consider myself to have an eating disorder.

I am three months out, which isn’t a vet by any means, but I can give you my perspective at least. Surgery has been a great blessing, because it has allowed me to be satisfied with a smaller amount of food, and allows me to follow a food plan and lose weight. It also allows me to get back on track more easily than before.

Surgery has not *touched* the addictive component of my relationship with food. For example, I bought Quest Protein bars which came highly recommended (they’re great nutritionally). Unfortunately, they were very triggery for me and I ate two in one day, unplanned. This may not sound like much, but boy that feeling was so familiar and scary. After one, I couldn’t stop thinking about the next one, fought with it for a couple of hours and then ate a second bar. I was filled with those familiar feelings of guilt and regret. Now granted, this was only 400 calories of unplanned food which isn’t going to make me gain a bunch of weight, but I promise you I could eat 3 or 4 of those a day if I let myself and now we’re talking serious calories.

VSG only restricts the amount of food I can eat at a time, and only if it’s dense protein. Carby food like chips or sugar slide right on through. I haven’t tried popcorn myself since surgery, but several VSGers have told me they can eat a large movie-size popcorn by themselves. I have zero restriction with liquids, so I’m pretty sure I could eat a gallon of ice cream if I wanted (I’ve been mostly off the recreational sugar for the past 7 years or so).

I still have this old monkey on my back, and the surgery *has* made it a lot easier to deal with him. However, I would be cautious about expecting surgery on your stomach to address what for me, at least, is a problem in my head. I have felt shame and regret about eating food I “shouldn’t have” when I only had 800 calories the whole day. I still have to deal with having screwed-up feelings about food and screwed-up feelings about what I eat/ate even though my tummy is tiny.

This is just my experience, and yours may be completely different. I have heard people say surgery took away their hunger, surgery changed their tastes, surgery cured their cravings. This has not been my experience. Surgery makes my hunger manageable and keeps me from eating 2 pounds of food at the Chinese buffet. It doesn’t keep me from having obsessive food thoughts and my brain is still hard-wired to think that food is the solution for just about any emotional discomfort I have. Surgery helps me manage a side-effect of my food addiction (obesity), but it hasn’t made me a normal eater.

Hope this helps.

Love the name Happy!

I'm not bulimic, but I am seeing a therapist for food and other issues. Having been dirt poor as a child, I've always struggled with the need to have LOTS of food in the house, even if it goes bad before it gets eaten. I also had a sibling who ate all of the "treats" that we did get as kids as soon as they came home, so I learned that treat foods must be eaten immediately if I wanted any of them.

My main issue was sweets and the sleeve has made them disgusting to me, except chocolate. I had to get rid of the halloween candy I bought this year because it kept tempting me and I ate about six of them the day after I bought them. Then I promptly had potty issues (TMI, sorry).

I'm pretty happy that I'm lactose intolerant now, because that means I won't eat ice cream. The results aren't worth it for me.

Between hitting this board constantly and talking to my therapist, I'm moving away from the food issues to something that I consider a healthier attitude. If I'm angry, I go walk on the treadmill, or take a walk outside. At one time anger would have meant I'd go buy a package of cannolli and eat it before I got home, or a quart of Ben & Jerry's that I didn't share with anyone but me, myself and I. Is it any wonder I was big enough for 3 people before?

I am consciously trying to create a crossove addiction to exercise. I like the endorphins I get from walking, biking, or using the elliptical! And, exercise is not bad for you if done properly.

I wish all of us luck in dealing with our head issues.

Why do you believe it will address your issue?

I'll be very frank. If I could have used bulimia as a "tool" I might have. It would not have been a control

issue but to purge calories after overeating. But I can't vomit. It's difficult for me even when sick. I find

it vile and even hate the subject.

As someone who is 7 months out, I'm sorry but I question whether or not this will solve your issue.

I think you need to consider getting counciling along the way. At 7 months out, I still get hungry and

I still get cravings. It's simply controlled by my sleeve and the fact that I can't purge. And, for me,

there was healing where my capacity increased but since then no indication of any sort of "stretch"

so I see this as a long term solution for me.

Now I'm not saying this might not eliminate a percent of your issue. But if you are like me and still

get cravings and experience hunger, I'm almost concerned this would be worse for you in terms of

your esophagus which can be at additional risk due to the high liklihood of acid reflux developing.

I'm hoping for you. But I'm also concerned. I honestly question whether this will solve your issue.

And if it doesn't I think it's high risk to make it worse.

1, you are not that overweight

2, this surgery will not fix your problem

I was really hoping people here would be more understanding on this issue. Bulimia is something that has affected me on and off for the majority of my life, swinging between weights and sizes. Bulimia for me, has always been about feeling out of control, and I believe this surgery will quell that feeling. And how can you say I'm not big enough with a BMI of 30? How obese is obese enough? How is the way that I think about food any different than a person who has a BMI of 40? I am being honest about my struggles, and if this worls for me, I want to be able to talk about it to other people who live with this.

I have tried all sorts of therapy/counselling, and unfortunately, if you have an eating disorder and aren't 90 lbs or hooked up to a feeding tube, not much car. Believe me, I've been there. I would appreciate positive comments, instead of facing the negativity. There are many people on here who struggle from major pre or post-op depression, and we support them. This is another form of mental health issue that shouldn't be judged on this board. We all have our food issues to deal with. Is this one more severe? Maybe, but I would place it on the same level as binge eating, which I'd say the majority of people here probably suffered with.

I should also add that I struggled with childhood obesity before I ever had the bulimia. For me, the bulimia is a side effect of my obesity.

Please know that I am not attacking you but you said in one post that you purged to get rid of food and in another for a matter of control. This concerns me.

Bulimia is very serious. This sleeve may help you reduce the amount you consume but you will still want to get rid of it. You will get that full feeling and want to make it go away. The sleeve will not help with that. Only you can.

As for the comment about you not being 'fat' enough for the sleeve or any other type of baratric surgery, I agree. Most surgeons require a BMI of at least 35 with obesity complications. Some require a 40. I'm assuming that you are paying for it yourself considering insurance companies require a high BMI as well.

Please carefully think about this. I fought this disease for 23 years. I even had a boyfriend that encouraged it. I miscarried because of it. It has rotted my teeth. I understand the severity.

I can honestly say that the sleeve does NOT help me in that sense. It is assisting me I. My decision to become heathly...but it's me that decides not to eat garbage and to work out. Not the sleeve.

Hi, I'm a recovered bulimic and anorexic and am now two weeks post op. It has been almost 15 years since I dealt with my eating disorders and learned new coping skills. My concern for you is that you will become anorexic after surgery. Eating disorders always start out as a means to lose weight but they are in fact psychological disorders. I used both to avoid dealing with the death of my mom and sister. Surgery will not cure your bulimia.....your eating disorder will just manifest into something else unless you deal with why you do it in the first place. I'm sorry if this doesn't come across as supportive, but the people who helped me the most when I was in the midst of my ED were those that challenged my irrational thinking.

Take care of yourself!!!

I also did not mean to sound unsupportive. We all have our food deamons. I'm was simply trying to explain to you what it's like being on the other side. You then have to decide if hunger and cravings might drive you to eat the wrong things, then purge to then be able to eat the correct things your body needs. Because this is not a cure all. As a matter of fact, I feel hunger far more now then I did when I could eat a large quantity of food. It's just that a couple of bites sedates that hunger.

So I think that what I'm asking is: for whatever reason you eat/purge now, can you see yourself hungry and craving something and being able to accept 4 bites as the solution? If you can, then you may be right and this might be your answer. But if you think you would eat 4 bites of that food, become frustrated, purge, eat 4 more bites, then it's going to be the same vicious cycle if you have the same results of this surgery as I have.

There are people here who say they have zero hunger and zero cravings. I'm not one of those people and I think I am in the majority. So I just want you to understand this is not a cure all but a tool.. Then, with the explanations of how others feel and how they have reacted, you can decide if you think it's fit for you. It was just my concern that it might not be single solution and that you might want to get counciling to go along with this step.

I am trying to be honest about my experience, and support you through sharing that experience. If it doesn't help, then please ignore.

You said:

"My bulimia has always been for weight los, but because I'm eating foods I deem "bad" and can't have one cookie like a "normal" person, but wil feel guilty after one and eat a tray. I'm excited to not have the guilt anymore!"

What I am trying to say is that VSG will not stop you from eating just one cookie. Especially after you've healed up, you could probably eat quite a few. They don't stay in your tummy long, and you probably won't feel a lot of restriction. VSG will definitely not stop you from having guilt about what you eat. What I was trying to say is that *for myself* I have felt guilt about what I've eaten post-op even though it was kind of unreasonable when compared to my pre-op eating. I have those feelings because of my ED, not because of any reality about what I eat. If purging were one of my coping strategies, believe me, I would have at least thought about it several times post-op.

Now, VSG may make it too scary to purge (wouldn't want to damage your stomach), or may give you the reassurance you need that with the tool you won't become obese, and maybe this will diminish some of the fear it sounds you feel about eating. But I am just saying, that in my experience, this surgery does not does not does not cure the disorder thinking I have about food. VSG will *not* protect you from that out-of-control feeling with food. It will help you not overeat as much, especially if you are following a food plan. There will be all kinds of foods out there that you will be able to eat, and that you may feel intense guilt, shame and regret after you have eaten them.

I will be thinking about you.

This surgery WILL NOT correct or fix ANY eating disorder because they are a mental issue. You need therapy....not surgery at this time.

These types of things are why they make you pass a psych evaluation prior to surgery.

I just finished my psych eval. I passed and the doctor is also going to take me on as her patient after surgery! I love therapy! Everyday my life is about family, work, and most of all - my twin 5 year olds. To have a solid hour once a week that is about only ME is great. I can't wait!

I've done the whole BS a therapist gig in my past (forced to see a therapist young after my mother passed away) and I know for a fact that doesn't help. We all got to our weights for a reason - we all have a food addiction or eating disorder. We have all overeatten and been depressed about it.

You are not alone in this struggle but don't for a minute think having surgery will "fix" your bulimia. You need to put the work in. And we will all be here to support you!

Good luck