In the past couple of weeks while planning for my surgery, my life has gone through a complete 180 with plenty of ups and downs. I'm saving up and pinching pennies and in 2 weeks, our Central A/C has died, a wisdom tooth popped up and had to get extracted, my car has had issues, my husband's car is having issues while his truck has an unrepairable flat tire. $$$$$$- that about sums it up. Now, in the past 3 days, my mom (we are very close to each other and even live next door) has gotten emergency custody of my niece and nephew because my sister and her husband are on drugs and are abusive. We just spent 6 hours in court, On top of that, my mom also has a foster child through a different agency. With the 2 grandchildren living with her, the foster son will not be allowed to live in the same home (crazy rules). So, to keep him from having to pick up and move somewhere else, my husband and I have decided to pursue foster care just so he can live with us. We do not have any children. Overnight, we will become "parents". Scary! We love him very much, but I have to admit this is all overwhelming!

It is less than 2 weeks until my surgery... Are these signs that I need to postpone my surgery? I kinda feel like maybe I need to go ahead and get started being healthy right now since my life is about to change in a big way. But on the other side, am I going to be able to eat right if I am going to be having to cook for a child? My husband and I eat healthy except when we go out to eat, but now we will have the dreaded snacks in the house.... Ughhh, I'm so confused!!

The following is what I would do in your situation. This is my opinion and in no way is meant to pass judgement on your situation.

I would sit down with my husband and make out a budget for all of the things that are broken and need repaired, and an ongoing household budget assuming you get your foster son. Include a savings amount to build - rebuild your surgery fund. I personally would spend the money to get things fixed before I spent money on surgery if I was self-pay.

I would talk to the foster agency to see what hoops you have to jump through to get approved and how long it is going to take before he can be living with you. I would make sure having surgery wouldn't impact your ability to foster (approval or feeling good enough to foster a child)

I would talk to the surgeon and see if I could postpone surgery for a few (3-4) months - or until your surgery fund is built back-up. You could start / continue a sensible pre-op diet and get used to cooking for / having a child in the house prior to jumping into surgery. You could be losing weight while you get used to having a child, and re-building the fund.

Sounds like you, your husband and your mom have big hearts. Best of luck to you.

In the past couple of weeks while planning for my surgery, my life has gone through a complete 180 with plenty of ups and downs. I'm saving up and pinching pennies and in 2 weeks, our Central A/C has died, a wisdom tooth popped up and had to get extracted, my car has had issues, my husband's car is having issues while his truck has an unrepairable flat tire. $$$$$$- that about sums it up. Now, in the past 3 days, my mom (we are very close to each other and even live next door) has gotten emergency custody of my niece and nephew because my sister and her husband are on drugs and are abusive. We just spent 6 hours in court, On top of that, my mom also has a foster child through a different agency. With the 2 grandchildren living with her, the foster son will not be allowed to live in the same home (crazy rules). So, to keep him from having to pick up and move somewhere else, my husband and I have decided to pursue foster care just so he can live with us. We do not have any children. Overnight, we will become "parents". Scary! We love him very much, but I have to admit this is all overwhelming!

It is less than 2 weeks until my surgery... Are these signs that I need to postpone my surgery? I kinda feel like maybe I need to go ahead and get started being healthy right now since my life is about to change in a big way. But on the other side, am I going to be able to eat right if I am going to be having to cook for a child? My husband and I eat healthy except when we go out to eat, but now we will have the dreaded Snacks in the house.... Ughhh, I'm so confused!!

I had similar stresses with money, etc. I went ahead with mine and I am glad I did. There is never gonig to be a perfect time to have it. Something will always come up that will take precedence over us! Thats why we are fat. We are always taking care of other people and not ourselves. I understand all the drama but at some point you are going to have to say, I am just as important as everyone else and my health comes first. You have to love yourself before you can love others. Not doing what you need to do for you is crying out that you are still putting everyone else first. Things will work themselves out! They always do. Go through with it and in no time you will be recovered and be a good mom for your soon to be foster son.

Of course, ultimately, you have to do what is best for you and your family. However, I do agree that waiting for the "right" time financially could never happen. For me, I would go ahead and have the surgery done. A year from now you will be healthy and strong and able to be a much better parent than you are right now. Money comes and goes in this world (it seems to "go" much easier, though).

I'm just a couple of weeks away from my one-year anniversary and I've lost 140 pounds. I'm forever grateful I had the surgery!

Sounds like you, your husband and your mom have big hearts.

I couldn't agree more.

I understand your anxiety. We became parents of our only daughter through adoption, so I know the feeling of going from not having children one day and having a toddler the next.

However you have your mother right next door and you already know and love your soon to be foster son, so it will be great! It is a misconception that kids need to eat a lot of junky Snacks and foods. My daughter doesn't despite having an obese mom.

In regards to the snacks, if some are unhealthy, buy him stuff you don't like!.

Lastly, I would make that call as the previous poster suggested. You might not want to have surgery if that can delay or jeopardize the process. Other than that, go for it if you can! You will want the energy to enjoy all 3 kids! Best wishes.

While I can't say what I would do in your position, since my position in life is very different, but recently I have been through a lot (especially financially) that made me question whether I should postpone or cancel my surgery. I am having surgery on Monday and I am glad that I didn't cancel it. Everything ended up working out in the end. It wasn't easy and it is going to be tough for a couple month, but it is so worth it. If I don't do it now I don't know when I will. Continuing with the surgery won't hurt you. I think you and your husband will ultimately make the decision either way and it will be the right one for you.

By now you have had a chance to sleep on it - sometimes I find I get too overwhelmed and I just need to not think about it for a while. Give yourself a few more days to decide. I don't think any of us can tell you which way to go, but you should follow your instincts. Just wait for a moment when you are not as emotional or overwhelmed.

Good luck-

I say do it now if there is any way you can. Something else will always come up and get in the way.

Well, I just went to the bank and then mailed off my payment for surgery! I decided that if I put this off now, I will probably never end it having the surgery. I think at this point with getting a new foster child (as early next week!), my life isn't going to be slowing down anytime soon. This is a completely new begininng for me and my husband. I might as well start off trying to get healthy so that I can take care of our new family. Wow, that feels so weird to say: "family". Lol, now, I just have to get his room together before I have my surgery. Thank goodness my husband is taking a week off work so he can take of James while I am recovering. Thanks to you all for your advice! You have really helped me with my decision!

Well, I just went to the bank and then mailed off my payment for surgery! I decided that if I put this off now, I will probably never end it having the surgery. I think at this point with getting a new foster child (as early next week!), my life isn't going to be slowing down anytime soon. This is a completely new begininng for me and my husband. I might as well start off trying to get healthy so that I can take care of our new family. Wow, that feels so weird to say: "family". Lol, now, I just have to get his room together before I have my surgery. Thank goodness my husband is taking a week off work so he can take of James while I am recovering. Thanks to you all for your advice! You have really helped me with my decision!

BRAVO!!!!! I am so proud of you for doing something good for yourself! You will be so glad you did. I am happy you have a good supportive husband who will help out. Congratulations on your new life!

Don't worry about what he will eat and you eating differently. I noticed since I am eating better my family is too and that is a GREAT thing. I am buying more healthy Proteins (chicken, Peanut Butter, cheese) and less chips and junk. Hubby has gone down a pants size without even trying. My 4 year old eats healthier too (fruit, cheese, chicken, nuts) and since I am 3 months out and eat smaller portions, she and I make healthy Snacks and meals and enjoy our new way of eating together.

Glad you decided to do it. I am alot like you - always put everyone else first - that is part of being a good mom! You are on your way!

Congrats!! on being a parent.I am a bio mom to one son 20 and adoptive mom to daughter 4. Being a parent is FUN!!!!"

One of my favorite quotes about adopting, "Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they are not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes." - David Platt

Adopting our daughter is one of the best, most joyous, most satisfying things we have ever done.

Congrats again!!!

Good for you, I have to agree with everyone else there is always going to be something to get in your way, you will be so happy that you decided to go ahead now instead of waiting, please keep us all posted on your progress we are all excited for you!!!

You've gotten great advice from everyone else and I agree, you should go for it now!

Regarding the Snacks, my 5 yr old is eating so much healthier since my surgery (as is my husband . . . usually) and I don't buy junky snacks at all. She gets excited about "eating healthy with mommy" now!