I seriously want to know why skinny people don't get the fact that although yes, I can diet and exercise and lose a little bit of weight, that that same weight will eventually come back home and bring along about 20 more of it's friends? Is it a hormonal imbalance? Chemical imbalance? Is it the fact that they drop 20 pounds without even trying so it should be just that easy? Are they just secure in having the "fat" person in their life to make themselves look better? The Yin to their Yang? The cheese to their macaroni? (on the low-carb part of my pre-op diet, dreaming of pasta!!) I get that they love you and are worried, but shouldn't they be more worried about your health and well-being? Super morbidly obese is just not a fun term to throw out there; I mean really; not just obese, not just morbidly, but let's just string them together and put a big ol' SUPER in front of it! So if you are skinny, or you have friends that are, could you give me some insight as to why it is so hard trying to convince the skinnies that this surgery is a GOOD thing? This fatty would sure appreciate it!

:funscale:

Hello Trizzy,

I'm cracking up over your post! I think they just do not understand how and what we go through...Some ppl do not know how to look at others point of view. Majority of my friends are skinny, for example I been talking and explaing my surgery to one of my "skinny" friends for over 6months.. Yday I told her i was taking 2 weeks off from work she replied by " Why so long are you have gastric bypass" This totally pissed me off I explained and told her the name of my procedure for months so obviously she wasn't listening. My feeling where hurt but i just ignored it because, if you never had a weight problem you just DON'T GET IT! lol 

I seriously want to know why skinny people don't get the fact that although yes, I can diet and exercise and lose a little bit of weight, that that same weight will eventually come back home and bring along about 20 more of it's friends? Is it a hormonal imbalance? Chemical imbalance? Is it the fact that they drop 20 pounds without even trying so it should be just that easy? Are they just secure in having the "fat" person in their life to make themselves look better? The Yin to their Yang? The cheese to their macaroni? (on the low-carb part of my pre-op diet, dreaming of pasta!!) I get that they love you and are worried, but shouldn't they be more worried about your health and well-being? Super morbidly obese is just not a fun term to throw out there; I mean really; not just obese, not just morbidly, but let's just string them together and put a big ol' SUPER in front of it! So if you are skinny, or you have friends that are, could you give me some insight as to why it is so hard trying to convince the skinnies that this surgery is a GOOD thing? This fatty would sure appreciate it!

:funscale:

I TOTALLY can relate! We all have heard the "negative Nellies". My family is super supportive, especially one of my sisters and my daughter, and I am thankful for that! My husband is a fit 215 lbs. and 6'4"....Not ONE of my siblings is fat, but they have to watch everything they eat. Why did I get SUPER obese? Because I took care of everyone else and their needs and put my head in the sand about my own health. I took the "easy way out" all my life by eating fast food all the time and eating whatever I wanted without regard to my health.

Once I was diasgnosed with breast cancer.....the journey I went on made me realize how precious life is and that I want to live life at the fullest. I had to stop being an "ostrich" and face up to my faults and CHANGE.....REALLY change.....and I have already. I am ready for the "tool" of this surgery and I vow to do my part and follow my Dr.'s orders implicitly.....skinny or negative people be damned! LOL! Good luck to you on a successful surgery and recovery!

I once asked a skinny friend of mine how would she cope if she was allowed to drink only 1 beer...that was it...just 1. She loves to go have beer and watch the football games etc, go camping...all involve her friends and drinking. Like my activities involve going out to lunch with my friends. It put it into perspective for her. I also added she couldnt just quit drinking...that would have been easier....she had to drink one. Just like we have to eat now...just alot smaller portions.

I once asked a skinny friend of mine how would she cope if she was allowed to drink only 1 beer...that was it...just 1. She loves to go have beer and watch the football games etc, go camping...all involve her friends and drinking. Like my activities involve going out to lunch with my friends. It put it into perspective for her. I also added she couldnt just quit drinking...that would have been easier....she had to drink one. Just like we have to eat now...just alot smaller portions.

That is such a great analogy.....and so true!

I once asked a skinny friend of mine how would she cope if she was allowed to drink only 1 beer...that was it...just 1. She loves to go have beer and watch the football games etc, go camping...all involve her friends and drinking. Like my activities involve going out to lunch with my friends. It put it into perspective for her. I also added she couldnt just quit drinking...that would have been easier....she had to drink one. Just like we have to eat now...just alot smaller portions.

That IS a great analogy. I'm finding that it isn't just skinny people that make the funky face but fat people do too. I think other people who are overweight are turning their internal negativity onto us as a place to latch on the feelings. Skinny people don't have the frame of reference. I'm a lady (well on a GOOD day), so I won't understand what it's like to be kicked in the nads. I'm sure its painful but I only know that from what I've been told. I'm sure WLS is like that...you just can't be there mentally until you have been there physically.

That IS a great analogy. I'm finding that it isn't just skinny people that make the funky face but fat people do too. I think other people who are overweight are turning their internal negativity onto us as a place to latch on the feelings. Skinny people don't have the frame of reference. I'm a lady (well on a GOOD day), so I won't understand what it's like to be kicked in the nads. I'm sure its painful but I only know that from what I've been told. I'm sure WLS is like that...you just can't be there mentally until you have been there physically.

I agree. I have been judged more now on what I eat than when I was 377. When you are super obese you become almost invisable. When someone knows you have had the surgery and you start losing, people (be it skinny OR fat) think its ok to judge or comment on what you had for lunch etc.

A lot of this is because of the stigma of weight loss surgery patients taking the easy way out, or not being "strong" enough to put the fork down. In my opinion, the stigma of WLS is constantly growing because people are ashamed to admit they chose it for best results. They are so afraid of judgment because of their choice, but then they turn around and gripe that they are judged for being obese. No one is going to get it until we educate them. Have I caught flack for having surgery? Yep, sure have, and I also take it as an opportunity to educate someone that is obviously ignorant to the facts of being obese, having food issues/struggles. I don't get defensive, I don't mad, I simply state the facts, and tell those people that I might not have done it the traditional way, but with a 95% failure rate with diet and exercise, I wanted to be a better statistic. Even my husband is against bariatric surgery, he thought I could do it on my own. Although he was extremely supportive of my choice. He let me know that he didn't understand it. Through the almost 3 years since I started my WLS journey, he's finally understanding it. He recognizes that I still struggle with food. He's even said "you're still a fat girl, trapped in a skinny girl's body." And, he's 100% correct. I should add that he has never had a weight problem, he's athletic and works out 3-4 times weekly. Even though he didn't completely understand it, he supported me. On the flip side, he's tried to sabotage my efforts because he was scared that I would change, or leave him when I got skinny.

Just to flip the coin, do you remember hearing your skinny b*tch girlfriends saying "Gawd, I'm so fat!"" or "I feel so fat today!" and you sit there thinking "where do you feel fat, in your big fricken toe, you skinny, size 2 wearing hooch!!!" ?? That was me 2 years ago, I didn't understand their feelings, I didn't understand what feeling fat meant because I was always fat, and I had always been the fat one in the group of friends. So, because they've never been there, they are not going to understand, just like we don't understand how in the hell they feel fat with their less than 30% body percentages and 21 BMI. Now, that I have been a size 2, I can tell you that I completely understand how they feel. I've gained weight in the pregnancy, my body has changed dramatically, and I feel fat all the time again after finally feeling "normal and skinny" for over a year.