Help! I'm being eaten alive by the what-ifs!

Like 'what if it doesn't work' and 'what if I'm miserable for the rest of my life' and 'what if I'm always nauseated' and 'what if I can't eat solid food' and what if, what if, what if...

Ugh. And my surgery is still a week away. I gotta calm down and I can't.

Help!

yeah and "what if" you don't get the surgery, and "what if" you chicken out, and "what if" you don't . . . . that could go on and on and on. . . bless your heart. . .it's just the jitters, i believe everyone gets those. . . can you imagine if we all listened to our "what ifs" I'd never had lost my weight and feel this good ever. . . now the question really should be "what if" i didn't get this surgery?. . . you'll be fine and you'll do great with the surgery! Just hang in there, you've come this far, just a few more steps and you'll make it! Good luck!

I had them BAD the 24 hours before. Hang in there... I did just as the previous poster said... kept asking myself "Yeah, and what if you DON'T do this"

Here's what I've lost in the past 2 weeks

- 22 pounds

- BOTH blood pressure meds

- The feeling of constant defeat

- And more that I cannot even think of right now!

You can do this! I've only been at it for two weeks. My stomach muscles hurt, but so freaking what. I'm rocking this thing!

Lil Sister

don't you dare back out on me!!!!! You can do this You are worth it You will be glad in the very near future that you had your sleeve. You will lose the weight, you will be able to eat normal food again and you will have energy, energy, energy to do the wonderful things you want. Remember, You adventure to this point has been good and now it is time for the best adventure of your life - 'cause this is all about you Lil Sister, ALL ABOUT YOU. I know your can do this and be a great inspiration to the rest of us waiting in the shadows to have our day with the sleeve. You will be healthier and you will live longer to have lots of adventures...YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU ARE STRONG AND YOU CAN DO THIS FOR YOU!!!!! Hang in there Lil Sister, you are not alone.

Bryn, I had those same doubts before my forst WLS. Here was my defining thought:

The next 12 months is going to pass regardless of what I do. Time doesn't care, and isn't going to stop. So 12 months from now, I can be exactly the way I was, or I can be better. After those 12 months, if I'm the exact same, will I regret it? Haven't I regretted it those same exact 12 months, 10 times over? The time's passing... only I can control what happens during that time.

I had fears. I still do, and considering I need a revision - many of them came true. But that's ok. It's not "the worst thing ever," it's just my reality... it's something else I need to deal with.

I'm analytica to a fault. I always overthink things, but I'm glad I do. If I didn't overthink, I wouldn't be "ready." I don't think decisions can be as easy as a pro/con list, and you one-for-one your way down it because things can very in severity or consequential weight. But try looking at it that way for starters...

Like 'what if it doesn't work': I have researched this a lot and have not found any instances of it not working, as in someone cannot lose weight. I have found people who have regained their weight. I suspect those people did not make the more holistic changes necessary for any sustained weightloss. Just make sure that mentally, you're ready to work and are not expecting a freebie. You may very well get a freebie, but don't prepare for it.

'what if I'm miserable for the rest of my life': WLS is extreme. I have to think that anyone seriously considering it is already miserable, and already expects they will be miserable for the rest of their lives unless they do something differently. Misery has many forms, so what kind of misery are you afraid of as a result of surgery?

and 'what if I'm always nauseated': Does this happen very often? I don't have that particular concern, but if I did I would probably be trying to see how often it happens, what medication solutions to long-term nausea were available, and asking myself if I would rather live miserable because I'm nauseous, or miserable because I'm fat (and everything that comes along with being fat). Remember my comments above that some things carry more significance than others, and that misery comes in different forms? Here you go. What's worth more? Which is more significant? Which would you better tolerate?

and 'what if I can't eat solid food' and what if, what if, what if...: Then you will adjust to mushy foods, liquids, soupy foods, etc. I've had my band about 5.5 years. There are times when I cannot eat solid foods. I may go through spells of 4 - 6 days where I can't eat solids. I go through spells of a day where I can't comfortably drink liquids. Pre-op, these things were unthinkable... I couldn't imagine what I would do if I couldn't eat solids anymore. But once I was in that position, it doesn't bother me. I'm still feeling a swallow of orange juice I took about about 3 hours ago. I will probably stay away from solids today & tomorrow. It doesn't bother me, it's just how it is.

In regards to that last idea, I'm not sure I can explain this very well, but perhaps others -- especially those who have had their VSG a while, or those who have had other procedures first -- can chime in. When you're "living the reality" none of the silly (as you come to see them) things that scared you really matter anymore. You become very resistant. I would have been terrified at the thought of not eating for 4 days. I couldn't possibly conceive of not feeling hungry. Getting full after 3 bites was so abstract, you may as well have been asking me to conceptualize the boundaries of the universe. Possibly having to give up foods I liked seemed like such an ultimate sacrifice. But when the time comes and you (if you) have to face any of those concerns, you just do it. And it's easy to do it because you're getting something out if it. I'm gladly going to skip food today, because it beats the hell out of feeling anything I eat just sitting there. I'm perfectly happy to not feel hungry, because I don't have to stop what I'm doing to eat. Not eating solids for a week or so is ok, because the liquids and mushy stuff is just fine, and wellw orth the avoided discomfort.

Hope that makes sense. I know it's hard to "pretend" what things are going to be like, and some of these things probably seem impossible... but when you're there, they are simply your reality and you cope.

and 'what if I'm miserable for the rest of my life' and 'what if I'm always nauseated' and 'what if I can't eat solid food' and what if, what if, what if...

Stay busy. Clean your house. Line up clothes that will soon be going bye-bye. Stock your pantry with shakes and such. WHAT IF YOU DON'T DO IT? is the best question for you. Jitters are normal. Stay busy and it will be here before you know it.

Help! I'm being eaten alive by the what-ifs!

Like 'what if it doesn't work' and 'what if I'm miserable for the rest of my life' and 'what if I'm always nauseated' and 'what if I can't eat solid food' and what if, what if, what if...

Ugh. And my surgery is still a week away. I gotta calm down and I can't.

Help!

BTW, I'm trying (still) to adjust to one of thoese silly ergonomic keyboards. My typing accuracy has gone down significantly. I should take the time to edit out my misspells/misstypes, but I'm just not gonna.

Just read on this site between now and your surgery....I think you will see that the majority of people here are extremely happy with the results. Just remember that! That speaks volumes to me!!

Good luck! You WILL do great!!!

Girlfriend! You sound just like I did 2 weeks ago! I'm 8 days post op now and couldn't be more thrilled! I've already lost 16 lbs and feel great! Just wish I had done it sooner!

Oops, I mean I lost 14 lbs so far, not 16!

Girlfriend! You sound just like I did 2 weeks ago! I'm 8 days post op now and couldn't be more thrilled! I've already lost 16 lbs and feel great! Just wish I had done it sooner!

Thank you all for your responses... I am breathing and trying to keep things in focus. It is helping some. You all are right - I would have way more what-ifs if I DIDN'T have the surgery.

Thank you for the perspective, everybody!

Hopefully this is the last of the jitters.

:clap2: Lil Sister I am so proud of you - you can do it!!!!!

What if you lose 140 lbs by this time next year....

What if you have to buy all new clothes SMALLER...

Turn those negative "what ifs" into positive ones.

I know what your thinking, I'm there with you...but I always turn it around to what its going to be like once I lose all this fat. Once I'm no longer "miserable" in this fat body.

I just don't think life can get worse......it has to get better. In fact I know it will get better. We can do this....one month from now we will be telling another "pre-sleever" how wonderful

it is and to not worry.

Hugs,

BTW Bryn - something that really helped me the first time around was focusing on the (almost surreal) concept that I would be ale to maintain my weight loss. I'd lost those same freaking pounds so many times over that maintenance was pretty much mission impossible. But this time, it will stay off! And it did, until I got pregnant. And even then, it mostly did.

I'm not really a psyching up, hype, ra-ra kind of gal. I just kinda get sh*t done because it needs to get done. But that little voice in the back of my head telling me that this time it will be gone for good really was the difference between just thinking about it, and actually doing it.

Think of how good it will feel to lose the weight and not really have to worry much about it coming back.

Crimeny -- just the mental break of not having to beat myself daily with chants of, "I really need to do something about my weight..." was worth more than I can express. The first I was able to think back to myself, "I DID, and it's awesome" was such an amazing moment. If I ever had a defining "A-ha!" moment where I just absolutely knew I had made the right choice, that was it.

This time around it's different. I'm not facing the unknown of WLS, or surgery, or freaked out about the "little" things -- I'm just facing the unknown of what's different between my lap-band and the sleeve. That's a much calmer mental struggle. Now instead of "will it work," "can I do it," "will I be able to adjust," etc. I'm wondering, "with the band I feel this, how will that translate with the sleeve," and "with the band it does that, what will it do with the sleeve?" That's a different place than where you're at, but just remember -- lots of people who are much bigger wimps than you have been there, done that. (Or so I told myself when I was in labor...)

I had my surgery 12 days ago and the day before surgery, I was doing the same thing you are now. It's normal to feel that way. What calmed me down a bit was when the anethesiologist (sp?) called to ask questions. I told him how nervous I was and he said that even though this was a major surgery, it was a very easy, noncomplicated surgery. He said that he had been present through lots of the sleeve surgeries and he'd never seen anyone that had problems during surgery. That was a relief...why should I be the first? Ha!

Also, after your stomach stops swelling...about a week out....you will slowly but surely be able to take more in. I've had my panic moments after surgery but I'm starting to feel a lot better now. You will be okay and you will be able to eat again....eat normal foods....AND you will lose weight! It's a process and what you're feeling is part of the process. After surgery, you may still have your doubts (as I have....why did I do this to myself? kind of feelings...which now I am happy with my decision) because it is tough but you will get through it! You will be fine! Think about how important this is to you and why you considered having this surgery in the first place. By next summer, we will be thin and enjoying our life!

We all go thru this, it's completely normal!! Don't let yourself talk you out of a better, healthier life!! Make a pros/cons list. That helped me a lot. Something brought you to this place in this time to even consider wls. Keep reminding yourself why. We're here for you!!