Am I becoming bulemic?
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I am trying my best to think good thoughts while dealing with my new sleeve but it is getting to be a handful with an already busy schedule. I know I can't turn back now but I really wish now I would have researched more with actual ppl how eating is after surgery. I know i'm only 6 weeks out but it is so irritating at times how my sleeve controls my life right now. I thank heaven that I do not have hunger or cravings but wish I was able to tolerate food or even shakes better. I eat an egg and can hardly get 2 spoonfuls down, or try tuna, chicken, etc. and it's the same thing. I am not babying my sleeve but hate the need to bring it up so much that I get my Protein from the 3oz shots I drink and may eat once a day praying it will stay down. I feel more and more like eating is another chore and don't enjoy handling that task at all.
I know I have come a long way but really hope eating a couple of spoonfuls is not my permanent way of life. I feel like I am bulemic from the constant need to release what I eat more days than not. I know my stalls are from not eating but when you bring it back up as much as I do, you begin to ignore the "empty" feeling and hope the next day will be better. I went a few days last week problem free but the last few days put me back to square one. Baby food is beginning to get on my nerves but even pureed foods annoy my sleeve at times.
I just feel tired and a bit of resentment that the sleeve I thought was a gift feels more like a curse...