I'm finding that while counting down to my surgery date there are things that I absolutely WON'T miss when I get healthy. I also know that when surgery time comes and I'm laying there in pain there will come the "WTF HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF!?!?!?" moment. My mentor (she's already been down this road a year ago and is coming with me to get my surgery) suggested to me something that I'm passing along to you. Make a list!

List 12 reasons why this surgery is so important to you and what you want or what you don't want anymore. It may be harder than you think! I'm struggling to be brutally honest with myself even though some of it is painful. Now, when you have that "moment" after your surgery, pull out your list and KNOW and remember why you did this to yourself!

My list so far, and feel free to share yours because maybe it will help others!

1. I want to be able to breathe easier

2. I want a lap again

3. I want to be able to do pedicures and not have to take a breather moment cause my chub is in the way!

4. I want to be able to walk and not hurt so much

5. I want to be able to get on an airplane and not have to pay for an extra seat or get a seatbelt extender

6. I want to be able to drive my car comfortably again

(here is where I'm a bit stuck, and these are in no particular order, just things I know I want!)

Renee`

To make my life choices because they are what I want or need, not because they are what can accommodate my weight.

1. Fit comfortably in any car and to drive my husbands mini cooper

2. go on a plane again and fit

3. fit in movie seats

3. roller coasters!!!!

4. dancing

5. horseback riding

6. cartwheel and a backbend

7. ride a bicycle

8 wear something other then sneakers every day

9 have clothes that I actually like rather than things I hate but wear cause they fit

10 being with my husband again

11 cross my legs

12 paint my toes without having to be a contortionist (includes tying shoes and putting on socks)

13 CPAP gone forever

14 for my kids to know the thin me, they have never seen me thin

This is SO COOL! Thank you to all that replied. As my own surgery draws nearer these are amazing reasons for staying motivated and reminding myself all the reasons why it's so important for me to stick to the plan. All the reasons stated above (except I don't have a mini-cooper lol) are all the same reasons I have. Thanks!

XOXO Renee`

1. For my knees, hips, back, and feet to stop hurting!!!

2. To be able to shave my legs....all of my legs! To be able to shave my legs without feeling like I just ran a marathon!

3. To feel pretty, cute, sexy again!

4. To wear a swimsuit without having to put something over it.

5. To wear shorts again!

6. Can't wait to look in the mirror and admire myself...instead of despise and disgust myself!

7. Ready for thinner women...not all...but definitely some....to stop giving my husband the look, as if I don't matter...as if they are thinking, "What is he doing with her? I can offer him better!"....DARN IT...that really hurts!

8. To not feel so irritable all the time from being out of energy and in the dumps!

9. To go swimming with my son in public!

10. To not take a dive out of a camera's view! And to not hind behind my son in pictures when I can't dive out of the way!

11. To not be a slave to food!

12. To feel like dolling myself up....because right now, I feel like what's the use!

13. To weigh less than my husband.

14. I want to walk to the mailbox during the day in full view of everyone...instead of hiding inside so no one sees me, until dark!

15. I want to enjoy sex again....not dread it!

I have my first meeting July 5th. Looking forward to changing my life. My no longer list;

1. Not being scared I will meet some one before I gained wieght.

2. Having some one look at my face & not my belly first.

3. Not having friends at work pat my belly and laugh.

4. Not having a friend ask my wieght and laugh when I tell him.

5. Met a old friend and when he thought I had left the room, he said "My God he's fat."

6. Walking up to a ride with my granddaughter praying silently they have a fat person chair so I don't have to walk back.

7. Not having some one say "Why you breathing so hard." when I am just sitting in a chair.

8. Not having my Dr. say "You know what to do to loss weight, just eat right." When asked for some help to lose weight.

9. Hoping the store still has my size clothes.

10. Having the Grandchild say, "Mom say's you don't ride the rides because you are to fat."

NOW FOR SOME GOOD STUFF!!

1. Taking walks with the wife.

2. Holding my wife.

3. Riding rides with the kids.

4. Buying regular clothes.

5. Looking forward to activites.

6. Riding in a plane to Alaska to see my sister.

7. Seeing my feet.

8. Getting my lap back so my wife can sit on it.

9. Having my Grandkids see me skinny for the first time.

This is all for now.

.

These are wonderful! I sincerely hope you get your lap back, I know how important that one goal is because I too want mine back. I'm a wife that loves to sit on her husbands lap and I can't WAIT for the day I'm small enough to sit there again!

Renee`

I need to do this too... so here goes with my list.

In no particular order...

1. Being able to buy clothes off the rack.

2. Not having to mail-order bras anymore.

3. Being able to walk for more than 10 minutes without major pain in my back and ankles.

4. Being able to stand still or walk and stop to browse when shopping without breaking into a sweat and feeling like I'm going to fall down.

5. Fitting into small chairs and being able to get out of chairs without having to 'push off'.

6. Being able to fit in an airplane seat without having to ask for a seat belt extender.

7. Not having to rely on contortion or pedicure ladies to take care of my toenails.

8. Being able to shave my legs without folding myself into fat-person origami or missing lots of spots.

9. Being satisfied with SMALL portions instead of HUGE ones.

10. Being able to go horseback riding again.

11. Not being the fattest person in my family, immediate or extended.

12. Only having one chin (I hate hate HATEHATEHATE my double chin.)

Rene

what about dancing, wearing a special pair of pants or special dress???? what about not having little kids point at you and say something to their parents (kids are so honest)? what about people no longer thinking you are lazy or an over-eater because of being overweight? What about being able to step on your boat and not having people grab on because the boat moves so much due to your weight??? What about being able to walk past people you know and they NOT recognize you (i love this one). What about being able to wear shorts and not get "leg chap"? What about not having to get "wide" shoes or DDDD or EEE bras. How about not having to take a truckload of pills every morning or evening for aliments. How about being in control of yourself and what you put in your mouth because your are hungry and not because you are emotional or stressed or lonely.

It is a good idea to make a list and keep it close (I have mind in a plastic sleeve and I add to it when i think of something). This is a life time journey and we are both at the beginning of our "YELLOW BRICK ROAD" to a healthier life and healthier future. WE CAN DO IT AND WE DESERVE IT!!!! I look forward to your journey enteries good and bad in the future.

Actually looking at a picture of myself and liking it! Done

Shopping at a "regular store' done

Feeling good, done!

walking more than a block without back and hip pain,, DONE!

participating in fitness classes, DONE AND DOING!

Stoping to gaze at myself and liking what I see,, done!

Low back pain gone! DONE!

I can't sit without my legs crossed now,, weird

seeing my girly bits, wow is that normal looking?

just getting up and moving with out effort, done!

craving exercise,, done!

The list goes on and changes as you change and all I can say is you WILL love your new life and wonder why you did not do this sooner!

All great lists! We should all be proud that we are taking action, making changes! Congrats to you all!

My list:

1. To be able to play hockey with my kids, not just watch.

2. To be able to tie my shoes without putting my foot up on a chair or something.

3. To be able to play tag with the kids and actually catch them!

4. To be able to keep up with my dog rather than being pulled by him.

5. To be able to sit in an airplane and not ask for an extender!

6. To enjoy sex again!!!!

7. To actually sit down and not worry when at a friends house.

8. To be able to wear shorts and jeans!

9. To weigh less than my husband!

10. To be able to ride on a roller coaster again.

11. To be able to breath easier.

12. To want my picture taken again!

1. I want to be able to run.

2. I want to be able to shop at a "normal" store.

3. I want to be able to share clothes with my friends.

4. I want to go into a room and not worry I'm the biggest person in the room.

5. I want to weigh less than at least one of my brothers.

6. I want to weigh less than my husband.

7. I want to ride rides without fear of not fitting.

8. I want to feel girly.

9. I want to wear dresses.

10. i want to be able to cross my legs.

11. I want to have a baby!

12. I want to be healthy!

Strike through = ACCOMPLISHED!

All these lists are AWESOME!!!

Here are a few of my top reasons/wishes/hopes/SOON TO BE REALITIES!

1. Enjoying a summer without worrying about parts of my body rubbing against themselves or each other!

2. Being able to wear any style pants and go for a pedicure (I will be able to roll them up over my CANKLES because I won't have cankles anymore!

3. Not worrying that the passenger sitting next to me on an airplane wished they had missed the flight or the fat lady bought two seats!

4. Not having my belly stick out further than my bustline!

5. To be able to see a photo of myself without thinking I look like Buddha, an Oompa Loompa or an old but baby faced cherub!

6. No longer being able to use the shelf on my butt for card playing or resting plants,

7. Dressing so I look good and not good considering my size...

8. Visiting my doctor cousin without him asking me "Are you diabetic yet?"

9. No longer wondering why I knock stuff off of tables, dressers, shelves when I walk past them quickly

10. No longer finding bruises because I've knocked into furniture, walls, moldings whatever because my body takes up so much ROOM!

11. No longer being told "You are so confident for a big gal" and just people seeing I am just confident.

12. No longer thinking people think I'm funny as a defense mechanism but just because I AM REALLY FUNNY!

13. No longer caring that the skinniest women I work with are eating Lean Cuisine because they are a size 2 not a size 0;

14. No longer thinking for even one second someone is chuckling about ME!

15. NO LONGER FEELING BOTH INVISIBLE AND CONSPICUOUS AT THE VERY SAME TIME!

It's funny how I've thought of many of your reasons too. but it makes me sad when I realize how limited my life has been because of this weight.

here's my list. in random order:

1. to be healthy

2. to have a pretty face for a girl any size ( I love this one)

3. to cross my legs

4. to run marathons

5. to polish my toes

6. to love hugs and displays of affection

7. because I deserve it

8. to be remembered for what I say not how I look

9. because I am funny - even if I wasn't fat

10. because I'm in control- not food

11. because my husband doesnt care about my weight- just my health ( he's a great guy)

12. because I love me!

Rene

what about dancing, wearing a special pair of pants or special dress???? what about not having little kids point at you and say something to their parents (kids are so honest)? what about people no longer thinking you are lazy or an over-eater because of being overweight? What about being able to step on your boat and not having people grab on because the boat moves so much due to your weight??? What about being able to walk past people you know and they NOT recognize you (i love this one). What about being able to wear shorts and not get "leg chap"? What about not having to get "wide" shoes or DDDD or EEE bras. How about not having to take a truckload of pills every morning or evening for aliments. How about being in control of yourself and what you put in your mouth because your are hungry and not because you are emotional or stressed or lonely.

It is a good idea to make a list and keep it close (I have mind in a plastic sleeve and I add to it when i think of something). This is a life time journey and we are both at the beginning of our "YELLOW BRICK ROAD" to a healthier life and healthier future. WE CAN DO IT AND WE DESERVE IT!!!! I look forward to your journey enteries good and bad in the future.

All of these are valid to me, actually! I could go back and add to my list now but to be honest, some of the things just didn't hit me until after my surgery. I was really in a fog and just couldn't think I was so nervous / excited/ SCARED! lol I know now that just being able to get out of bed when I wake up (without help!) was a big milestone for me and it happened at about week 2. Some of my fibro pain has gone down considerably, to the point that my son said it was so out of place that I was walking "normal" again, without a limp, that it was odd to him and he had to do a double take. So yes, I could certainly add to my list now but at the time I just couldn't think of all the things I wanted to do or to be because I wanted it ALL and it was jumbled up in my head LOL

Renee`

Paige, I LOVE number 12. I think so many of us have forgotten how to love ourselves or, like me, felt unworthy of love, especially my own. It's a wonderful reminder...thank you!

Renee`