I'm finding that while counting down to my surgery date there are things that I absolutely WON'T miss when I get healthy. I also know that when surgery time comes and I'm laying there in pain there will come the "WTF HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF!?!?!?" moment. My mentor (she's already been down this road a year ago and is coming with me to get my surgery) suggested to me something that I'm passing along to you. Make a list!

List 12 reasons why this surgery is so important to you and what you want or what you don't want anymore. It may be harder than you think! I'm struggling to be brutally honest with myself even though some of it is painful. Now, when you have that "moment" after your surgery, pull out your list and KNOW and remember why you did this to yourself!

My list so far, and feel free to share yours because maybe it will help others!

1. I want to be able to breathe easier

2. I want a lap again

3. I want to be able to do pedicures and not have to take a breather moment cause my chub is in the way!

4. I want to be able to walk and not hurt so much

5. I want to be able to get on an airplane and not have to pay for an extra seat or get a seatbelt extender

6. I want to be able to drive my car comfortably again

(here is where I'm a bit stuck, and these are in no particular order, just things I know I want!)

Renee`

And YOU will do it all!!!!!

Get into a booth without feeling like I'm in a fat vice. Go upstairs without breathing hard. Play with my kids and get up off the floor easier. Be at functions and feel like I am no longer the fat mom. Sit down in an outdoor chair without feeling like I'm now molded into the plastic and may never get my butt outta there! Quit worrying about if I'll fit in chairs, rides at amusement parks etc. I want to be able to see my feet when I look down. I never want to face diabetes. Tie shoes or buckle sandals without sweating. Face the uh hum...bedroom with confidence. Be in a swimsuit without feeling like my skin is crawling....and that my rubbing together thighs might start a fire!! Not feel out of control with eating or cravings. Never face the hard road of weight loss alone again...but now I will have a magnificent tool to help me stay healthy!!!! Amen! Thanks for letting me post this!!! Great exercise!!!

1) Not have diabeties, high blood pressure, high cholesterol

2) Stop taking 20 pills a day

3) Lose weight and not gain it all back again plus some

4) Cross my legs

5) Not come in almost last in a 5k

6) Have control over how much I eat in one sitting

7) Not hear "You have such a pretty face"

9) Own a little black dress that isn't a tent

10) Shop off the rack

11) Be comfortable in ANY plane seat

12) Love what I see in the mirror

I could probably go on . Thanks, Ybnormal, great exercise!

Thank YOU guys! This totally warmed my heart and I found myself reading through them and nodding and saying "YEAH! I know, right?!" all by myself. So, I look like a total dork and thank goodness my family wasn't in here. I can hear it now "Dad! Mom's nodding and laughing at the computer again!" LOL

Renee`

at a point now where my list is mostly complete I can say it has been worth the journey indeed! Im out of town this week and the plane ride was comfortable, I felt normal in the rental car, feel great with my Business clothes on and not like I have to rush to change into comfortble clothes, Ran to get out of the rain and felt strong, Caught my reflection in the hotel mirror and was not ashamed... I am so glad I found the sleeve. It is great to write these down and enjoy the journey.

I had a lot of the same things on my list.

Here are some my other post-op wants:

1) To not have to waddle my way up off the floor or use a table, chair, my husband's assistance to lug my big ass up off the floor

2) To shave my girly bits without fear of nicking something off (this is so awesome to achieve LOL)

3) To see that little triangle of light shine through my thighs

4) To not have to sit on the bench at the mall while my husband and son continued to browse and shop

5) To have sex as a skinny chick, never did I realize how much my fat got in the way in more ways than one

6) To not wear clothes that looked like I went to tent maker to purchase them

7) To see the bones in my feet

8) To see seat material on the side of my thighs in an airplane seat

9) To not have to squeeze myself into the driver's seat of a compact car because my legs are so short that my belly would rub the steering wheel

10) To get into single digit jeans that weren't labeled "stretch"

11) To avoid the major co-morbidities that were in my path pre-op

12) To have my husband carry me around like a sack of potatoes

13) To weigh less than my husband (pre-op I weighed about 110lbs more than him)

14) To have a better relationship with food, and to recognize, accept and embrace that I didn't take the easy way out

Renee, I still to this day carry my list in my billfold and they are as follows:

1. To be healthier.

2. To feel better about myself.

3. To be able to run with my grandchildren and great grandchildren.

4. To not fear going to the doctor because I have to get on a scale.

5. To feel strong and fit again.

6. To not feel embarrassed to have my picture taken.

7. To be able to look in the mirror with pride instead of despair.

8. Never having to hear my doctor say "if you would only lose some weight..."

9. To read the scale by looking down, straight down.

10. To improve my quality of life.

11. To NOT follow in five relatives footsteps (they all died from complications of diabetes.)

12. To not have to buy tents and try to pass them off as clothing.

It does me good to look at this list even though I have met my goal weight. I was given 3-5 years left to live if I did not do something. My surgery was the best decision I have ever made for myself and one I would do all over again.

Lynn

13) To be in the front in a picture and not hide in the back ground for fear of me looking bigger than everyone else.

Here's my list:

1) To be healthy enough to have babies!

2) Not having to shop in plus size stores.

3) No back/knee/foot pain

4) No seatbelt extender on airplanes

5) Being able to ride on a rollercoaster

6) Not always having to ask for a table instead of a booth.

7) Having room between the steering wheel and my stomach

8) Not worrying about being able to buckle the seatbelt in a small car

9) Being able to cross my legs

10) Being able to touch my toes

11) Having more fun in the bedroom!

12) Running a 5K

13) No more cpap!

14) Wearing a bathing suit without a stupid skirt.

15) Never hearing another weight related comment from a stranger again!

I actually went back and found my list from last May that I made when I first started thinking about this surgery.

Mine were:

Shopping at any store and buying cheap and cute clothes. (SO MUCH FUN! Cloths are cheap and I can shop practically ANYWHERE!)

Taking a bath in a regular sized bathtub with room (Haven't really taken many baths

Flirting, even though I've always been fat I haven't had any confidence recently

People saying, "Is that all you are eating?" Haha this is more annoying than I thought it'd be

Getting any hairstyle I want without worring about making my face fatter Same ole hairstyle but it looks so much better on me

Wearing shorts and dresses again (I look great in dresses and will be wearing shorts in two days on my first all girls vacation to myrtle beach)

My husband picking me up (Not yet

Things I didn't know I'd love as much are:

Sex

Shaving is so much easier! SO MUCH!

Having all this room when I drive

How nice people are to you the thinner you are.

Cheap bras!

One thing that I am looking forward to is not hearing, "you have such a pretty face....". Because eventually, I will have the body to match

This is so cool to read through these and agree with ALL of them! Tiffykins in re to shaving the girlie bits, I was telling Lynn yesterday on the phone that I haven't seen my hoohaw in so long I'm going to have to re-introduce myself to her. Shaving is always a gamble but I'm a Vegas girl and betting is what we do LOL

I admit the sound of thin sex is intriguing but that's about all I remember of it so hopefully I'll find out and remember what it's like to actually have it again and at a thinner me. woot!

Gina I get that alot and I wanna smack people. "Gee, thanks for the back-handed compliment. JERK!" only in my head I don't say jerk, it's alot worse than that.

Renee`

1. Be able to look in the mirror at myself and not see a Water buffalo

2. Not have to shop at full-figured stores exclusively

3. Be able to handle stress better and not revert to food

4. Not run away from cameras

5. Be able to run a 5k marathon and not just walk

6. Be able to run without my lower stomach flapping up and down (making "that sound")

7. Not to get tired from back fatigued from holding my breasts up

8. Not feel like people are staring at me saying she is cute but she is so big

9. Be able to go on a cruise and actually enjoy all the activities and not be sidelined

10. To get on an airplane and not be "pouring" out of the seat

11. To be able to sit in a chair at a hair salon

12. To be able to get a massage and not be told can you move over please.

12 things that were important to me....some I knew and some that were a surprise!

1. I wanted to buy cute clothes! Vain, yes...but it's even more fun that I ever could have dreamed!

2. Not hating having my picture taken, now I don't mind at all, and even enjoy seeing myself and thinking, "is that REALLY me??"

3. Traveling by car or air and not being uncomfortable, room to move around is nice.

4. Avoiding health issues as I get older - extreme obesity runs in my family. I fought to 'maintain' 225 lbs. I knew it would get more difficult as I aged.

Now for things I 'didn't expect'

5. One of the best things is seeing my collar bone. I love it!!

6. Sex when you are thin is awesome.

7. My husband being able to wrap his arms all the way around me, I don't think he could do that when we got married. I weigh almost 30 lbs less than I did then!

8. Being called skinny, thin, tiny. It took a while, at first I'd look around, 'surely they don't mean me' Never in my life have I been called any of those things. Now I've been called ALL of them.

9. I love being able to walk into any store and being able to try on clothes. It's fun, even just window shopping, just going in to try stuff on is fun. By passing the women's dept.

10. Not being the biggest person in the room or in the group, and many times being the smallest.

11. My husband can pick me up!

12. My relationship with food changed. I am picky about what I put in my mouth. Everything counts. I use to mindlessly eat. Not anymore!

This is awesome!! Here's mine:

1. Energy to go out, do things, keep up with my friends, not always look up the hill and think "I can't."
2. To heal from chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia/whatever the heck is wrong with me. AND to have doctors take me seriously! I swear they just blame the fat, even tho it was sudden onset after a virus. But I am sure losing a lot of weight will help. And maybe then they will take the rest seriously.
3. To never again worry that people don't take me / my message seriously cuz I'm fat. (Doctors OR any other person/situation.)
4. Skinny sex! Yes!! I was once thin and I miss being athletic in the bedroom. Right now I can't do it my favorite way cuz of size + pain
5. Being smaller than my husband. Maybe so he can carry me! That would be so cool. Prolly not gonna happen tho, since he's a slight euro fancy man
6. Sitting anywhere with ease & comfort. Too small seats + fibro = torture, even more than the ego problem. (YES - perhaps no more booths!)
7. Clothes, clothes, clothes! Not just cute & sexy stuff, but like SouthernSleever said, cheap bras and better choice in panties! And socks that don't leave marks!
8. No more having to be brave about photos and mirrors.
9. Standing out among my friends in some good way -- not cuz some of them are 100lbs and I'm just under 300lbs.
10. Not worrying that my furniture etc. is dying an early death cuz it's under extra pressure!
11. One word: chafing. Ok, 2: sweating.
12. Looking my age.

And, I'd like to add a 13: I am looking forward to the surgery because I know I will never be able to obsess about food all the time it would take to lose even half of this weight by myself unaided. The idea of having simple rules to follow and not being hungry is VERY appealing.