Fears! Need your Help!
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Hello Everyone,
I have been on this site for quite some time now and I was going to be having surgery as a self pay April 15, 2010. That got cancelled due to lack of family support and now will be having surgery on May 31, 2011 using UHC and my surgery will be covered 100%. It is starting to get close and I am now having fears about getting the surgery. Fears I have never had before. I need help especially from all you post-op peeps out there. There are 3 major issues that keep coming up.
1. I have never had good luck. I mean seriously if something could go wrong in my life for my husband and myself it has. No joke... I won't go into detail about this but believe me when I say. I have horrible luck. Due to history with luck, I keep having this fear that I will be a statistic. By this I mean, I will be one of those who either, A) Dies B has a leak or C) has some other really bad complication to add me to the statistics of the surgery! I can't get over this feeling... I know my surgeon is very experienced and he is also the number 1 trauma surgeon at the hospital I am going to, but I just keep having these fears that its going to be me!
2. No diet has eve worked! Never! I have been on the pre-op diet since last July. Low Carb, High Protein, and have only lost 9 pounds. My second fear is that the surgey won't work. I will lose some weight during the liquid and mushy phase but after that.... no more will come off. No matter what I do. Small portions, excersise, I have never lost weight so why would the surgery be any different. I especially can't get over this one! I've tried everything... and I know I will only be able to eat small amounts, but I have done portion control diets and never lost. How is this going to be different.
3. I'm afraid I will never ever in my life be able to eat the things I enjoy ever again. I am not talking about Cookies, and chips, and ice cream, etc. I have never been one of those girls. Really and I'm not lying. I'm the fruits and veggies girl. I love my apples, and bananas, and grapes, and pineapple, and the list goes on and on. Lately because of my pre-op diet I have giving in and falling off the diet. I do really good all day and then at the end of the day just want something and i tell myself I can't have that apple because of the carbs... and then... I go get fast food and chocolate instead. I never ever used to do this. Now for some reason I think I can't have the good stuff like my fruit so instead I go get even worse stuff! I'm worried that after surgery i will never be able to eat my fruit because there are to many carbs in them, or never be able to have a small piece of chocolate once every 3 months and because of this I have been doing really bad now on my pre-op diet. I have about 2 weeks until I have to be full on this diet low carb and high protein before surgery. My surgeon does not do a liquid diet. For all of you post-op, please tell me I will be able to eat fruit again after surgery. Maybe not right away, but maybe after hitting goal.
I'm having a really hard time these past 2 days... With all these fears... I could really use some advice from all of you!
I love this site!
Thanks!