so yesterday I visited a friend. And she has always lacked a filter...sorta just says whatever comes to mind

so she was like wow you're gonna look great....horrible for a little while, but eventually you'll be svelte and looking hot.

so she goes on to say how her neighbor had WLS and he look horrible initially until he plateaued and then regained a little to normalize. So i retorted i'll never look horrible *flips hair* but It annoyed me. Because I know there will be naysayers and haters who will be whispering that i look horrible or lost too much weight etc. *sighs*

Sometimes others should keep their opinions to themselves!

True, but in this case the friend may well be right. Many of us do go through a period where we look gaunt and sickly until redistribution takes place. But I do agree, it might have been said in a more tactful manner.

i have often wondered though, is it that ppl look sick, or is it just that we aren't used to seeing the person at that size?

Unfortunately, it's human nature for others to be negative about our positive changes!

I have never in my life seen someone get a promotion or have something really good happen to them when there wasn't at least ONE person who had something negative to say about it. Am I right or am I right???

The best thing you can do is turn their negativity into something positive for yourself. Use their own words against them by showing them what an incredible person you STILL are, heavy or not.

Besides that, no matter what anyone says, we're here for you!!!!

I think that at first, IT IS the huge difference and the shock of seeing them at that size. I remember after seeing Luther V. when he had lost so much weight I had those type of thoughts about him and then after awhile he didn't look bad at all......just at a normal weight! LOL But as far as friends, so called friends, family members and all of their opinions goes.......BUMP THEM!!! LOL

i have often wondered though, is it that ppl look sick, or is it just that we aren't used to seeing the person at that size?

thanks guys

You could not have said it any better!!

You- know my mom told me the same thing- oh- and might I add that when I was also talking to her about after losing all the weight I might have a tummy tuck and boob job- she said "What about your butt- you might need more work there!" Thanks mom. Anyways- I have a fella at work that had the DLS surgery- and yes for a while he didn't look that great- getting used to eating different- his hair falling out-, his skin really loose- but now he is bouncing back and how good he feels now just radiates off of him. So I can see what your friend and my mom mean- but sometimes its just hard to take when you are wanting this to better your life and become healthier.

I thought Star Jones looked terrible at first. But now she's looking OK. Maybe I'm just getting used to her idk. I don't care if I DO look terrible at first. I look pretty darn terrible NOW! It can't get much worse!

I did look horrible for awhile. Plus, my family totally freaked out because they had never seen me "smaller' than 200lbs. So, it was shocking to see my collarbones, and see my bones protruding. I did go through the gaunt/sickly looking phase, and it was very difficult. Some never experience it, but I sure did, and it was kind of difficult to manage. The hair loss stage and regrowth stage was definitely difficult for me because I lost a lot of hair, and I had chia pet head for several months.

I agree she could have used different words, but it sounds like this is just "her". Try not to let her get you down.

I sort of discussed it with my 30 year old son... just a general conversation about it.

I was SHOCKED when he was so negative about it. He said that I would look too old because my skin would be all saggy and wouldn't bounce back.

... had to think about that one.

I changed the subject and moved on to a different topic.

Having the sleeve on June 30th... wonder if he will just see me as old, saggy, and thin?

Shoot... at least I'll be able to cross my legs again!!!! hahahahahaha

I sort of discussed it with my 30 year old son... just a general conversation about it.

I was SHOCKED when he was so negative about it. He said that I would look too old because my skin would be all saggy and wouldn't bounce back.

... had to think about that one.

I changed the subject and moved on to a different topic.

Having the sleeve on June 30th... wonder if he will just see me as old, saggy, and thin?

Shoot... at least I'll be able to cross my legs again!!!! hahahahahaha

Well- siince he is your son- he will always see you as old! But heck yeah~! Cross your legs- not get out of breath- feel good- health- see your grandkinds! lol Kids!

I have only lost 100 ponds of the over 200 I need to lose and so far everyone says nice things. My hair is falling out and the lose skin is really starting to show and my mother says to me"hey your just about at your goal.Right?" NO not at all I have at least 100 more pounds to loss and really like 150. I wieght 362 and now 5 month later almost 100 pounds lost. YAY!

I tell you all of this because I have also noticed that people that have always been smaller then you are now uncomfortable. I am a 2x same as mom and 1 sister. Mom told me I should slow down so I don't look like a drug attict. She also gives me her clothes that are to big for her and gets mad that I don't wear them. They are too big for me too!

My sister that's my size's said I really don't wont to be the big sister now lol, but she is very supportive and tells mom to chill all the time. My baby sister is a size 16 and told me she's with mom on this. That 130 is too small for me and it would look bad on me. I should stop at size 20.

I have never in my adult life been below 245, not even in high school, so how do they or any one know what will look good on me.

Which brings me to my last sister. She is the 5'9 130 beautiful sister and I thought she would be the one non supportive, but she told me she was saving clothes for me. Size 8 and smaller. She and all 6 teen age niece's I have cheer me on and check on my progress.

I think some ppl have no filter, but some are just insecure about the whole thing and don't want you to change. Blow it off and keep moving forward.In the end some of those ppl will have to "at least" change thier minds to keep up with you.

Well- siince he is your son- he will always see you as old! But heck yeah~! Cross your legs- not get out of breath- feel good- health- see your grandkinds! lol Kids!

My kid calls me an old bag too, but he did tell me I was starting to look more like a Gucci bag instead of something of the rack at walmart.

Oh MY! lol

My kid calls me an old bag too, but he did tell me I was starting to look more like a Gucci bag instead of something of the rack at walmart.